tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-46983172953241278032024-03-13T11:36:15.371-07:00luvthebabiesAnonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06631327770237449889noreply@blogger.comBlogger179125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4698317295324127803.post-29330018737569551052015-08-11T13:09:00.002-07:002015-08-11T13:09:20.150-07:00I think this might helpI totally forgot about this whole blog thing. Ok wait that isn't entirely true, I got busy with other things. Things like Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, kids, work (keeping a baby), Jeff, well mom things. After living here for 4 years I still feel a bit discombobulated. So, what did I do to make it better... we moved. Yes, we moved... but we moved closer to Jeff's work. In an effort to save on gas, tolls, and time, we moved from the house we had built when we moved here into a rental home. We will see what happens in a year or so. For now we are living closer to Jeff's job, church and life. We loved our home and if we had been able to pick it up and move it closer we would have. For now it has been nice that Jeff can hang a bit longer in the morning and we can enjoy a cup of coffee in the morning before the kids get up. It has been nice that he calls me from work to say he is coming home and we see him in 30-45 min instead of 1.5 to 1.75 hours. The house is not as big and is one story. What we have discovered is that it is nice to see each other again. With all the kids upstairs and us down, we learned that we didn't see each other much. This set up is better and allows us access to each other and that feels nice. I am hoping we will get boxes unpacked before school starts and get everything settled. It is going to be an interesting year for sure and I am excited to see what it will hold for us.Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06631327770237449889noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4698317295324127803.post-64908909817658759012013-01-20T15:29:00.001-08:002013-01-20T15:29:17.060-08:00Parenting is challenging<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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Yep, these are my children, and indeed they are crazy! They are fun loving and spirited. They are loud with laughter so very often. They are smart and sweet (and show both sweet and smart 97% of the time). I love being a mom! Seriously, I do. Being a mom is something that I prayed for and God really did answer that prayer. For each of my 4 blessings I am so very grateful. However, there are weeks like this last one where they are a handful. I wonder sometimes if it is the weather, their exhaustion due to lack of sleep, or if it is their diet, or all these things combined like the Bermuda Triangle. This was one of those weeks that no matter what I prepared for them to eat it wasn't right. What I provided for them to wear -they didn't want it. They didn't want to go to bed when asked. They didn't want to get up when it was time. They didn't want to do their chores (and seriously they each have like one it isn't like they are my slaves or whatever). They didn't even want to put their own things away. I never asked any of them this week to put away anything that belonged to someone else, just to put their blankets in their rooms or put their shoes in the closet or whatever. They wanted to be by my side, in my bed, in the kitchen, in my car- wherever I was they were, but they didn't want to do the things that I was requesting of them. Weeks like this puzzle me. Multiply the children and you multiply the grumpy, grouchy and whiny cries that come from their mouths. Today at lunch I actually held up my hands in the stop position and said the words, "everyone wait". I realized that I had one child tapping my shoulder saying, "mom, mom, hey mom." while there were two others who were in the midst of talking to me about two different things. My ears and brain had had enough. When all that is within me wants to scream/yell enough already you people need to get control of yourselves, I remember that I am the one in charge and I know what is best for them. I have to calm my spirit and my soul in order to know what to provide for them. In order for me to calm my spirit I often turn to music (it soothes the savage beast you know) I found myself this morning in dire need of quiet and calm. I needed that quiet and calm to remind myself that there are others who would love to have the chaos of the Babcock home. Their lives have taken turns that caused them to hurt whether through the illness or the death of their children, or divorce and so they have seasons where they are without their children or whatever... they don't have what I have. I try to think of things like that when I am tired of having little hands touching me constantly. I try to remember those people when there are interruptions during a show I might be watching, or a book I might be trying to read, or even the visit to the bathroom. So on the way home with two in the car with me I turned on the radio and began to allow the music to wash over me as I have done so many times before. No such luck as the 2 that were with me argued all the way home. Once home all 4 of them were struggling to get along. It took a good 2 hours to get everyone to the point where happy faces began to appear again and the creation of a big tee-shirt with the words "our get along shirt we love each other" written on it (an idea from pintrest/facebook)- and what was I doing during those 2 hours... writing this article and listening to worship music in my headphones (between breaking up fights and redirecting). Seriously they are now all 4 getting along and being sweet to each other and haven't complained once - and so I post a video (one I might have posted before) of what I do each and every time I find myself at the point where I need God to help me through and lead me back to a calm spirit... here it is:<br />
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Thankful so very much for those who use their gift to remind me of my blessings and of The One who gave them to me!! Peace out!</div>
<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06631327770237449889noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4698317295324127803.post-87851630818831486712013-01-14T06:54:00.002-08:002013-01-14T06:54:32.256-08:00What will 2013 bring?<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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Sometimes I look into the faces of my children and wonder how in the world could I be so lucky. I know many parents feel that way but seriously God gave me some pretty ones. I look at those blue eyes that all of them have (they are all a different color of blue) and the shape of their lips, their dimples and even that little part under their nose above their top lip and think, "wow God you done good!" 2012 marked the end of "little" at our house- no more diapers- I have been changing diapers for 12 years. I gave away all clothes for the boys that were size 5 and below and gave away all of Zoe's clothes that were 4 and below (for the most part although I have found a few here and there that need to go). I told someone the other day that I have enjoyed for the most part watching the boys grow and change but Zoe is killing me... when I go to buy her spring clothes I will be buying size 6 clothes- I have no one in the baby/little kid section at any department store or wally world or whatever. Where did my babies go?? So what will 2013 bring? I don't know but one of my resolutions was to be more like Mary and store all of these things up in my heart. So I post this picture of my kids at Thanksgiving 2012 and take a moment to thank God for the blessing of my "babies"!</div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06631327770237449889noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4698317295324127803.post-11990752846049920002012-07-12T10:01:00.002-07:002012-07-12T10:01:45.563-07:00Well so much for keeping upOk well life gets in the way and so I don't post... big deal... I can catch up- here goes nothing...<br />
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This guy is about to go to middle school!! How crazy is that?!</div>
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This dog (Molly) joined our family and we love love love her!!</div>
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This guy is still as crazy as ever and continues to challenge us every day- he keeps us alive!</div>
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This guy loves life - the phrase live, laugh, love is built deep within his soul!</div>
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She brings balance to our world... tiny and mighty, tenacious and independent all wrapped up in pink!</div>
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The kids rocked the school year! Mason and Cooper both made straight A's and Jaxon learned to read and was promoted to 1st grade so with regards to our move they are settled. We have found a fantastic church home- The Branch @ Vista Ridge- we placed membership and began to serve and that has helped solidify the feelings of home here in DFW. We just put in for the last of the "issues" to be fixed in our house before the year warrenty runs out (which is crazy to think about). We love the community we are in and have met lots of people and are starting to "do stuff" with friends. Each weekend as we drive to chuch we talk about how we are beginning to feel more and more settled and at home here. We have even discussed purchasing a piece of property where we could have animals and land and stuff... who are we?! LOL! So... there it is the update on the family-hope you enjoyed it! Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06631327770237449889noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4698317295324127803.post-85060343245310069262012-01-22T19:49:00.000-08:002012-01-22T19:49:17.927-08:00Loving my kidsThe kids and I left for Nashville for Christmas via car the week before Christmas. I have done this in the past and have really struggled to push through the drive from San Antonio with kids by myself. This year was a little different since we only had a ten hour drive (give or take) at least a one day drive. As I have in the past, I had new crayons, markers, coloring books, a new game for each child for his ds/dsi, basically entertainment for the road along with snacks of all shapes, sizes and flavors that are not normally something we keep in the house. I never tell them what I have bought... I load up the car and get it all ready and when they get in it takes a while for them to discover all the new fun stuff. It was no different this trip. It was however different in that this trip, Mason was big enough to hang with me in the front seat and keep me company or help me out with the other kids by reaching something they might want or need. He didn't stay too long up front with me. He stayed in the back with Cooper and they enjoyed vs. each other with their games. The kids traveled really well. They had lots to entertain them and were thankful each time I pulled out something new. I loved hearing them laugh and color and share. My heart was full each time I looked in the back seat and saw their little faces. It did take more than 10 hours and as it got dark they fell asleep at the time that they would have if we had been home. Except Mason, he crawled back up into the front seat and chatted with me and laughed and sang and spoke of how he was feeling more settled and happy. Music to this mommy's ears I tell you. Today I shared with someone that from the moment I knew what babies were I loved loved loved them. I began to pray that God would allow me to know the joy of having children and as I have said He did not let me down. While it is not always easy, I have challenged myself to take a breath and as I have said before be like Mary and charish all of these things in my heart. These things are moments with Mason in the car when we talk, or shopping (because I am teaching him the fine art of grocery shopping). These things are teaching Zoe how to make a salad for lunch (which she loves and requests often), or listening to her sing, dance and tell a story as she is playing with her toys. These things are watching Cooper's entire body change when he comes into contact with any animal or baby. These things are that Jaxon is going through a fear stage and doesn't want to sleep in his bead but will fall asleep in 2sec. in my bed and when I crawl in he is all warm and snuggly. I am loving my kids right now and spent a lot of my time driving to Nashville thanking God for the blessing that comes through parenting my kids!<br />
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Get ready friends 2012 I am gonna be adding pics and doin' some bloggin' about these crazy blessings and I hope you my faithful followers will enjoy what is to come!Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06631327770237449889noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4698317295324127803.post-57655259856620468992011-12-31T10:43:00.001-08:002011-12-31T11:29:09.199-08:00Looking backAs I reflect back over the last few years of keeping up with this blog, I have noticed that the feel of it changed from being one that reflected on my love of my babies and all things that get wrapped up with them to one of how stinky some of our life has been. I started this blog as a legacy to my kids because let's face it the more kids, the more activity, the more activity, the harder it is to remember everything both good and bad. I love my kids and the things they say and do. I want to use 2012 to restart the original intention of it. It will be filled with stories and pictures, and other stuff that will allow them to look back and see what a mess life is with 4 but what a blessing they are too me (even on the hard days). I will close 2011 by saying that I see a shift in where we are now vs. where we were earlier in the year. I am listening to the 3 boys play together with the hot wheels wall track. They are laughing and giggling together and Zoe just went to join them. While sometimes what comes out of their mouths is not always pleasant today is one of the days that my heart is filled with joy! I spent many years of my life praying that God would bless me with kids so that I could be a mother. He answered that prayer with 4 very different, unique children. I pray now that I will not fail them as a mother. I pray that 2012 will bring lots of laughter to this home through my kids and that they will know the love that I have for them! Kids, when you read this one day, please know that every single thing I did in the world and every decision I made was made with you in mind. I love you with every breath that I take and nothing you ever say or do will ever ever change that!!- Much love, Mommy.Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06631327770237449889noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4698317295324127803.post-24088932803179222132011-08-08T09:32:00.000-07:002011-08-08T10:12:06.890-07:00The end of relocatingWhew... no more apartment! We were able to close on our house on July 15th and moved out of the apartment on the 16th. The house in SA now has a new owner and we are getting boxes unpacked and getting ready for school to start. Well, ok actually as I write this we are in Nashville on vacation, but we did do some shopping over the weekend during tax free time! After spending the last 4 mos in the apartment, waiting for the SA house to sell and waiting to get into a house here in Dallas, I realized that through all of this God was answering a prayer that I started praying in 2009. It was a very dark time for us. Our marriage was struggling (to say the least). We were struggling finacially. We were struggling to be on the same page parenting our children. It just seemed as if nothing was going the way it should. I began to pray that God would intervene as only He can. I prayed for finacial peace. I prayed for parenting solutions. I prayed for God's wisdom concerning my marriage. I had no idea that God would answer my prayer the way He did. There is no way financially we would have been able to prepare our house to sell had it not been for relocation. There is no way we would have been able to put any type of dent into our debt, were it not for relocation. There is no way we would be in a bigger home were it not for relocating. In the midst of frustration and trial came blessings and answers to prayer! I am so very thankful to God for being the faithful giver of so many good things! It just reminds me to stick and stay with the other prayers that I have been praying for the last few years. It reminds me to be still and know that God will answer the prayers that I pray in His timing with His way. It isn't that I didn't know because I have always been aware of prayers being answered. But, this is the first time that in the midst of utter chaoas that I have seen His mighty power bring peace to us in a way that only He can bring it. Day after day as I meet new people I can see God's hand guiding us through this relocation. I know there are more great things that will come of this. For now I will be focusing on unpacking boxes, getting the kids settled in school, and focusing on training and fundraising for the breast cancer 3 day... get ready for a post or few on that passion to find a cure!!! Until next post... God Bless!
<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06631327770237449889noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4698317295324127803.post-77380039215903861192011-05-31T07:56:00.000-07:002011-05-31T09:31:23.415-07:00Expectations vs relocation part 2I promise this won't be like a preacher with those 110 lesson sermon series, (sorry if you are reading this and you are a preacher or married to a preacher or whatever), but I have been thinking -again. Yes, thinking is dangerous for me, and when I think then I have to get those thoughts out... so for those of you who check and see if I have posted anything - today is your lucky day. Part 2 of relocation has to do with the behavior of my children. I expected there to be some change of behavior. I expected that this whole relocation thing from house to middle floor apartment would be a parenting challange. I expected a change in my behavior challanged children (and there are several of them). But I was not prepared for the vast difference of my expectations and what is actually occurring. I wonder some days how many times I have said... stop running in the apartment. I wonder some days how many times I have said... stop jumping and crashing on the floor. I wonder some days if the hitting, punching, kicking, yelling, biting, total lack of respect is a part of relocation and emotions running high due to the change of location and friends etc... or if my kids have just lost their "everlovin" minds. I mean I knew after struggling for years in our marriage, that the stress that my kids were under due to the fact that their parents weren't on the same page in their parenting styles, was intense, but throw in relocating and WOW! I was not prepared for the level of yuck that comes out of their mouths. They yell at each other with such hatred in their voices. Mason, yells at Cooper who yells at Jaxon who in turn yells at Zoe. Cooper yells if anyone comes remotely close to him or in the same room (some days). Mason can't stand to be near the two little kids. Jaxon has developed this scream yell that makes our skins crawl when he does it. He also stands there and just looks at you when you tell him to do something as if to say... I hear the words that you are speaking but there is no way I am going to do what you are telling me to do unless you use some sort of force. And oh the eye rolling and door slamming!! Maybe I am just more concerned about the noise that they are making because we have neighbors both above and below us. And maybe this is normal for a move- whatever it is - in the words of Barnie Fife "we have to nip it in the bud!" "Nip it, nip it, nip it!" Sunday's lesson challanged me to examine my prayer life. Not how much I pray (because I have an ongoing conversation with God that really never has an amen to it), but more so a how I pray. Mr. Chris spoke of The Lord's Prayer and reminded us that is was not spoken of as "these are the words your should pray", but more "these words are {{how}} you pray." (Substance over style if you will) Chris reminded us that prayer is not about our performance- big fancy words etc... it is about a relationship with God. Prayer is not about informing God of what our needs or wants are (because He already knows) but about drawing together with God. Any time you have a conversation with someone especially someone you admire, love, respect - doesn't a conversation with them bring you closer together. ( umm I added that thought- and I'll add another) You know when you have a friend that knows you so well that they can almost complete a thought before you do. A friend who when they see something they know would make you laugh even if you are miles and miles away... they laugh too and call, text or facebook you to laugh at you, with you, or about you and something you did or said at some point and time. You don't have to inform them about you, they already know you or they wouldn't be trying to communicate with you. God is that way with us. He just wants to know that we see Him, are reminded of Him etc... and want to communicate with Him. {{Chris, sorry if you are reading this I hope you are not offended that I added some thoughts}} Chris also said that it is not about asking God to align His resources with what we want, but aligning our hearts and our resources with His will. We have to pray that things be "on earth as it is in Heaven." The question came up how do we do that? Hang with me I am almost to my point and will tie it in to the relocation part I promise. (told you I had been thinking) We have to get to know God in order to be able to pray and to do that we must go to The Bible... to scripture, to the life of Jesus and see what He said and did, to Heaven (thinking about it and reading about it (imagining what it is like and what it would be like to have Heaven on earth) and going of course to The Lord's Prayer. The phrase within The Lord's prayer "on earth as it is in Heaven" helps us to align our hearts with God... being bold and believing enough that it is possible that we could have Heaven here on earth is possible. Chris talked about the prhrase "Thy kingdom come, Thy will be done". God's kingdom is His realm... it is where He is. His will- is His "strong desire". So if we are praying for God's will to be done then what are we praying for? Aren't we praying for God's strongest desire be wherever He is? Isn't God right here with us at all times... here on earth?! All I could think of was the peace that comes to mind when I think of Heaven. Heaven will be peace. In Heaven, there are no tornados, there are no earthquakes, there are no hurricanes, there are no addictions, there is no lonliness, there is no cancer (no breast cancer!), there is no crying, yelling, hitting, punching, disrespect, slamming of doors, complaining etc... there is just peace. If I want the peace that I think of in Heaven here on earth- I have to ask for it! I have to believe it will happen. But if my heart isn't into it or if my heart doesn't really believe it I must align my heart with the will of God our Father. If what comes out of our mouths that which is in our hearts then (and oh dear gussy, this is where I was convicted) what is in my heart. I have to be the one who patterns for my children what is in my heart and if I can't wrap my heart and {{brain}} for that matter around the relocation because somehow I allow the moving and God to stay separate in my heart - how can I expect my children to adjust? Did I just hear some of you whisper "finally she got to the point- LOL!" So... I change my heart's expectations and I begin to look for God and praying for His Will to be done at this time in our lives. If I am going to find peace, I have to be peaceful... I have to lay out my expectations for the kids in a peaceful clear way, just as Our Father laid out his expectations of our prayers. I can pray for God's will to "reign" in our hectic relocation apartment. I can pray for that peace... I can find places to go to find the resources that God has placed out there that align my heart with Him. Resources that allow Him to be the center of our home in all that we say and do. Resources that align our parenting practices with His will. To that end I found this fabulous website: Compassionate Support Christ Centered Hope. It is a website that has some amazing resources from parents who have "issues" (as we call them in our house- ADHD, depression, etc...), and for parents who have kids with "issues", but it goes beyond that. Your challanges for today... take a look at that website, and think about how you are praying. I think I have found a way to adjust my expectations and it had to come from crying out, "Father, on earth as it is in Heaven!" Thank you Mr. Chris for your timely words and God bless each of you... especially the ones who made it to the end of this post! Love you!Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06631327770237449889noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4698317295324127803.post-16806176964353360542011-04-27T10:39:00.001-07:002011-04-27T11:59:34.235-07:00Expectations vs relocation part 1Why is it that sometimes in life our expectations have to be readjusted to such an extreme?! So I am thinking that my expectation of this relocation thing was a little off. I thought that because the "God" aspect of our relocation and the ease at which everyting took place would continue. I am having to change my expectation because it seems that God might have put us in a holding pattern. You know in the Bible when God told Abram that he was going to be the father of a great nation and moved him to a different land and told him he was going to be an actual father- like with a real kid and everyting. Then Abraham had to wait. Not for just a little while but for quite sometime... so much so that Abraham took matters into his own hands- to a detrimental fault. Yet, God kept His promise... He did make good on his promise. So my thoughts... I think we are here in a waiting pattern. Everything fell into place easily to move and now we wait. Part 1 of this post begins with me. Leaving Church, friends, home, family etc... how do I adjust to the waiting game without taking matters into my own hands. I have always struggled with waiting... if we do something like Sara and Abram and rush the plan... it causes issues. So I adjust and wait, I work on not running ahead of God, I attempt to be happy with where I am in the moment and not worry about tomorrow. And so for those who do read my blog my prayer is not that our house sell (I know that it will) I ask only that you pray that God help me be still. I pray that I can be still. I was listening to an older CD that I purchased several years ago the title was simple "Worship and Praise". It was published several years back when the Churches of Christ were flirting with the idea of worship leaders and were they Biblical or not. I mean not to make fun of course but I guess a little... was it ok to sing several songs that were more anthem like back to back without the standard 3 songs, a prayer, announcements, a few more songs etc... Anyway I chose this CD because I needed a "booster" shot if you will in the quiet of the day. I don't know why the song that I was listening to hit me soo hard. Maybe it was because it was all voices and we have been worshiping with a church that has a praise band (don't judge - we aren't sold but we like it for now), maybe it was the words that were being delivered at a time when I am feeling discouraged. But the song... Be strong and courageous and do not be afraid, the Lord goes with you each and every day, He'll never forsake you... Maybe Sara and Abram felt God's presence and then were asked to wait until the time was right (just as the Bibe says about the birth of Jesus). That is kind of how I feel... I know it is stupid but I also know that Satan knows exactly were to attack and strikes with the time is perfect for him. So today I am humming that tune as I play with Zoe and Jaxon, as I wait for the moment to go pick up the boys and find a way to spend the afternoon doing something fun with them, and as I find a better way for bedtime to work for all of us. I live for today, right now for just today, without thinking about what God is going to do for us next in this relocation, but just being mindful of the gift that I have been given today to be at home with my kids and to have a safe place to live with food to eat and clothes to wear and the courage to not be afraid of the future because God is in control.Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06631327770237449889noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4698317295324127803.post-77415209264022661742011-03-19T21:54:00.000-07:002011-03-19T22:09:46.421-07:00Bless their heartsOur boys had a moment in the car tonight that really broke our hearts. People say that children are resilliant, and while that is true, it doesn't mean that they don't have feelings. This move is hard on all of us, and while the boys were so excited about the "trip" and a new place to live, tonight they had a rush of emotions that hit. Jeff's friends Woody and Kelly invited us over for dinner. They all went to school at ACU and were so kind to have us over. Neither Mason nor Cooper really wanted to go... nerves I guess, even though they had not been out of the apt all day. Fear of the unknown was at the center I am sure and with Monday and new school, new teachers, etc, they were feeling emotional. All the kids did pretty well for the first little while. Cooper found lots of new stuff to play with and towards the end or our visit he got frustrated because he wanted to play with a particualr toy (a noisy one) and it was disrupting the movie that the others were watching. On the way home, Cooper said that he just wanted to go back to San Antonio and see his friend Eli. Mason said he just wanted to go home (SA) and see his school friends. Ouch!! I know they will be ok but in the meantime, I did explain that Mommy knows exactly how they feel. It is hard to start in a new place and put yourself out there. We are comfortable where we are. The same is true for The Church these days. The attempt to deepen our worship and develop a true relationship with God is a foreign concept to some. We are comfortable with the people we know on our side of the building. We are comfortable with the friends that we have and are not always willing to step out into the aisle- or across it and introduce ourselves. It is hard to walk down the hallway and look at someone we don't know and introduce ourselves and get to know them. We really must allow God to use us in areas of our lives even the ones that take us out of our comfort zone. That is what this move is for us. All of us! I pray that God will help us find peace in this move and help us as parents to use this as an enormous teachable moment for our kids. Until next time I pray that each of your will find a way to step out of your comfort zone and find someway to glorify God and bless someone else's life this week!Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06631327770237449889noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4698317295324127803.post-84035134689699564832011-03-18T07:07:00.001-07:002011-03-18T07:40:16.131-07:00Stacia Crafton this one's for youSo I have this friend - many of you might know her and she says to me on a regular basis, "update your blog!" I think she might be a stalker- LOL- kidding friend. Lots and lots have happened over the last few weeks and it is time I used this blog for recording what is going on with our family. To begin, roughly 8-9 weeks ago Jeff interviewed for a postition with USAA (whom he has worked for for the last 12 years), he got the position and it came with a move to Dallas. So, here we are, ready for our house to be put on the market, an enormous amount of stuff in storage and living in a 3 bedroom apt in the Carrollton area. It has been emotional on all of us to say the least but making the decision to come here instead of being a family divided with Jeff working here during the week and us in SA without him was indeed a good one. Last night we actually sat down at the table together to eat dinner and shared great stories and laughter and such! It was fantastic! By the way if you know anyone looking to buy a house in a quiet neighborhood, in a cul-de-sac (gated community by the way), new paint in and out, new carpet, new sod in front yard, 1800 sq feet for a fantastic price... let me know! Moving allows for a fresh start for us. It allows us to see both our strengths and weaknesses. It helps us to remember to rely on the Almighty One to have control and show His direction for us! There have been some crazy amazing God stories that have revealed themselves to us over the last 8-9 weeks but I will save those for another post. Until then I thought I would share some funnies we have heard from the mouths of our babes.<br /><br />Cooper: President George Bush Turnpike? I didn't know his last name was Turnpike!?<br /><br />Jaxon: Yay this is the day we move to Dallas! That is just perfect!<br /><br />Cooper: Mom, are you lost again?<br /><br />I know there are others but I can't remember any more. In the meantime, I ask for your prayers as this move is a difficult one and the kids have been struggling for sure... just ask Mr. Chris downstairs- bless his heart. He has been in his apt for the last 3 mos with no one above him and suddenly 4 emotional kids move into the above apt (and they have never been in one so don't know how to walk around and such)... Sorry Mr. Chris- I promise we are trying! Until next time... Love to all of you!Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06631327770237449889noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4698317295324127803.post-52060019054870638722011-01-11T16:35:00.001-08:002011-01-11T16:47:00.476-08:002010 wrap up (sort of)Whew it has been a while... for my 3 readers- sorry! Ok so 2010 is over and I have to say it was one of the hardest yet one of the best years in my life! I will be doing a detailed year in review when I am finished wrapping my brain all around my thoughts. But for now I wanted to share with my readers that what got me through was the decision to wash my mind and soul with all things God-like. I started with something simple... I tuned the radio in my car to the local Christian station (K-LOV) and never took it off. There were no other stations tuned in to anything. As long as I was in my car and my kids were not with me (as we have kids CD's) I was listening to the songs, stories, prayers etc... it really really really made a big difference. That was just one of the steps I took. It was a good one- I will share more as I wrap up 2010 and let you know that I plan on doing more of that in 2011. Until then- God Bless!Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06631327770237449889noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4698317295324127803.post-13850419100640648322010-10-12T06:04:00.000-07:002010-10-12T06:06:11.219-07:00Terrific TuesdayOn this terrific Tuesday I have the opportunity to serve yummy treats to my friends at Ladies Bible Class. I love that God has allowed me the time to be able to go to spend time in study and fellowship with these women. My life is richly blessed because of them. On the days that we have Ladies Bible Class I am convinced that it will always be a terrific Tuesday!Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06631327770237449889noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4698317295324127803.post-6125968607195431532010-10-10T17:11:00.000-07:002010-10-10T17:49:13.382-07:00It's more than that...Many of you know I walk in the Susan G Komen Breast Cancer 3 - Day. This is an event put on by the Komen for The Cure in an effort to find a cure for breast cancer. In this event we (my team... Team Tiara) spend 3 days walking, a total of 60 miles, in an effort to show our support for the "Pink Warriors" past and present. We dream of a day that there will be no need to call them "Pink Warriors" for we dream together of a day where there will be an end to breast cancer. Each of us is responsible for raising $2300.00 per year for the privilege to walk those 60 miles. It is an honor for me to do so. My Grandmother was a "Pink Warrior" as was my aunt. Sadly, my aunt lost her battle just 2 months ago. Someone asked me today, why? Why do I choose this whole fight against breast cancer? Why do I choose to walk 60 miles in 3 days? I pray constantly that God will allow me under any and all circumstances to minister to whomever might come into my life. I pray that even if I am going about the "mundane" errands of life (like the grocery store) that I can minister to anyone who might need me for whatever. So I consider this whole 3 -Day thing as a ministry. It isn't just a walk... it is more than that... it is a way for God to use me for whatever He sees fit in whatever capacity when it comes to finding a cure. It is a cause that has now become a passion. I see daily opportunities that God is presenting to me (to the team) where I am asked to serve. My friend D'Lyn recognized that our team could do more than just walk to honor the "pink warriors". In this 5th year of our team being together we have now gained non-profit status and God is using us like crazy to minister in so many ways to people who need us. Just this afternoon I had the wonderful opportunity to sit with a new sweet friend who just had a mastectomy on Friday. Team Tiara has had several opportunities to minister in several ways to women who are going through chemo (currently). We have also ministered to families who have lost their "Pink Warriors". So why do I walk... because I believe we will find a cure but more than that because I know that God is using me for a higher calling. If you are reading this and you are interested in anything that Team Tiara does please feel free to email me @ kayrenbabcock@yahoo.com. If you feel compelled to help out financially, I am still trying to raise my required $2300.00 for this year and would love to receive any donation at all. I thank God for each of you who have chosen to read this post and will say feel free to share it with anyone you think might be interested! God Bless!Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06631327770237449889noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4698317295324127803.post-24210243647031327712010-09-20T09:17:00.000-07:002010-09-20T13:34:33.511-07:00Above ReproachThis morning the phrase "above reproach" has been on my mind. Growing up it was not something that I heard from my parents, but something I often heard from coaches. They would tell us to remember that we are a team and to function with the spirit of a team and be above reproach in order to have success. They would say it before a game, before we got off the bus, before we were in some sort of competition. It was spoken of often at sporting camps that I attended. The coaches that said it knew that there were always people out there who were full of jealousy, people who were mean spirited, people who cared more for themselves than for others. As a representative of a team I never wanted the team to do poorly so I tried my best and I supported the others on the team and encouraged them to do their best. As a team we presented a united front of positive, encouraging energy! It made for amazing moments when we won of course but it also made for the whole "lean on me" thing when we lost. As a team we won together and we lost together and because we behaved in a way that was "above reproach", the wins and losses were that much sweeter - they brought us closer together as a team. Getting involved with the Breast Cancer 3-Day for me was a no brainer. The idea of team spirit was one that I grew up drawn to because of the wisdom of the coaches that I had with their above reproach attitude. It meant that I was really a part of something that I could be proud of while I voiced my opinion of how much I hate (yes, hate is a strong word and I choose to use it here) Breast Cancer. I loved that first year standing in the midst of all the pink fighting/walking/protesting Cancer. Together daring to imagine a world without Breast Cancer. We stood all 3300 of us together above reproach knowing that each and every one of us from the crew to the safety people to the walkers all worked together and did our best. We were able to hold our heads up high. I don't know what it felt like to be an onlooker in the crowd, because I was in the middle of the pink- in the middle of the team of 3300 people dreaming of that world without Breast Cancer. Being a part of a team means you can't look inward... that is why the power of "The Pink" (another way to refer to the seas of people protesting Breast Cancer) is so amazing. It is an insane number of people thinking about the men and women who have had to suffer from this disease bonding together to do something about it. There is no "I" in Breast Cancer because those who are suffering don't have to suffer alone thanks to "Breast Cancer 3-Day. And friends there is no "I" in TEAM. Are you a part of a team? Are you a part of something that makes you think about being above reproach? Are you behaving in a way that will build others up the way Teams do? I am challenging you today just to think. In 47 days the team of walkers in the Breast Cancer 3 Day will be walking in DFW. I pray that we will all gather strength from each other and that those who are suffering will not feel alone because we will be supporting them!Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06631327770237449889noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4698317295324127803.post-66064890531555892522010-09-15T09:35:00.000-07:002010-09-15T09:39:40.273-07:00What season is it again?!I realize that there are 4 seasons per year that are marked by the changing of the trees/temp/weather for most of us. But, I think I have sort of added a season- or should I say renamed a season. I almost feel like instead of being excited about it changing from Summer to Fall that I get excited because the beginning of Fall is really for me the beginning of Fundraising for the Susan G Komen Breast Cancer 3 Day. Sure there are people out there that fundraise all year and on my team there are many who have already reached their goal. I applaud them! I guess I just feel like having a "season" to fundraise works well for me. So, beginning Sept 1st, my wardrobe changes dramatically... you will be hard pressed to find me not wearing something related to breast cancer. I am almost always wearing some sort of tee-shirt that advertises the 3 Day or Team Tiara (I am a walking advertisement) and if I am not - I am usually wearing a pink ribbon somewhere on my clothes. I use my wardrobe as a conversation starter... an avenue of breast cancer awareness if you will. This year 50 days out of the 3 Day walk I will be doing a Fabulous Fundraising Friday. I would love to be able to have 50 friends donate 50 dollars 50 days out - of the event in order to reach my goal- I am excited about the opportunity to try this. Be watching for an update!<br /><br />by Kayren Babcock on Wed, Sep 15, 2010 @ 10:51 AM CTAnonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06631327770237449889noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4698317295324127803.post-85643700193063166672010-08-14T16:12:00.000-07:002010-08-14T16:36:57.810-07:00I am reminded today...I am reminded today of how big but how small he still is. I am reminded of how little he was and how big he is. I am speaking of Mason. My sweet itty bitty cutie patootie squishy little first born... how did he get so big all of the sudden? When did he start decided that he needed a haircut and ask for them instead of me looking at him thinking... I think I will take him tomorrow for one. I got the opportunity to take Mason shopping for school clothes and then on to his golf thing at First Tee. First of all he is an awesome shopper... he knows what he likes and if he doesn't see it then he is outta there. My kind of guy. How I remember the little outfit that I put on him that they gave me in the hospital. Tiny little froggy shirt with a matching hat. It was so tiny it fits one of Zoe's baby dolls now. Today, I shopped in the size 12-14 section - that's right people from 4lbs 13oz and 18 inches long. I know every parent feels this way... I know some of you are looking at you kids and saying wow, they are going off to college or wow they are going off to kinder or whatever. But, since this is my blog this is me going wow... when did he get so big. Then my feeling was enforced even more when I took him to his golf thing! He looks just like his daddy when he swings that golf club. I am not even kidding! From the way he addresses the ball to his follow thru it is scary how similar they are. I was happy to have had a hat and sunglasses on so that I could hide my tears. I was so proud to be Mason's mom today! I mean I am proud of him every day but today was one of those days that just hit me what a cool kid he is. I love his sense of humor and his desire to do well on the things that interest him. Notice I didn't say desire to do well on everything... he is after all a kid and if he doesn't like it... well he will let you know. He is getting better at expressing himself verbally, like with the right tone of voice and everything. I appreciate his willing spirit to help around the house too. Why just yesterday he "cleaned his room" and even vacuumed it and then asked me to come look at it. I couldn't help but laugh when I saw all the things he had stuffed under the bed. I also had to laugh when I asked him what he did with the blue tub of stuff that was in his closet... he said, "oh, I put that in your closet." Nice! He learned from the master how to "stuff clean" tee-hee. But when all is said and done, He still wants to sit close to me and hold my hand. Yeah, he likes to hold my hand. He always did... when he was nursing he wanted me to play with his hand. Today while we were coming home he reached over to hold my hand and we had a laugh together about something (oh his hands are like his daddy's too just in little kid size). I am blessed to call this child/big boy my son. I am blessed that God gave him to me! Thank you God for the gift of Mason!Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06631327770237449889noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4698317295324127803.post-78769124820511308042010-08-03T15:29:00.000-07:002010-08-03T15:52:26.011-07:00You know it has been a long time when...You know you haven't blogged in a while when you have to go to someone else's blog to hop onto yours because yours fell off "the favorites" list and your too lazy to type it into the search engine. (Kidding of course but I did have a hard time remembering where I bookmarked it). I know all 11 of you followers have been waiting with bated breath for me to update. So here we are... almost at the end of the summer. It has been a good one- I think the kids have enjoyed it. I have to say the highlight was our vacation at the beach. In fact, Zoe when she has cried lately has asked to go back to the beach- I go beach- she says. I want to cry with her sometimes and say me too! She and Jaxon have really been busy playing together this summer. It has been fun watching them. Cooper has been completely engrossed in everything Star Wars and Mason has enjoyed video games, books, and football camp. I have learned several things over the summer. 1. Must have a plan at all times- this avoids meltdowns. 2. No Naps- early bedtme 3. Put children in bed and allow them to read but insist that they may not get up. This one has worked really well over the last 2 weeks and I think we are really going to be onto something when school starts back. I have lots of things to "talk" about but I will leave it at that- it seems that when the 2 yr old and the 4 yr old drag the container of cars into the 1/2 bath and shut the door that nothing good can come of it... I think I will just take a peak to see what if any damage has occurred : ) Until next time!Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06631327770237449889noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4698317295324127803.post-2300238408623371382010-05-10T12:18:00.000-07:002010-05-10T12:30:39.113-07:00Accepting the things I can not changeOk so I really had some awesome thoughts on Paul's thorn in the flesh and how God used Paul (faults, pain and all) to touch so many via The Bible. That will have to wait... I try to be the epitome of an open book in the hopes that something I think/purge out of my thoughts will bring Glory. I have found myself trying to remind myself (I know that sounded rough) who I am in God's eyes. I began therapy last week. I needed to clear the muck to see through to God. Today was my second session and I was reminded that I have to own many of the decisions that I made years ago that brought me to where I am today. Well, Duh! But by the same token having anger and hurt over those decisions is ok I just can not allow it to run my thought processes now. As I say that... I can't get out of my head... did you know that it takes 8 non sexual touches from a loved one (ie your husband) per day to make a woman to feel loved. Did you know that Adam and Eve had perfection and yet they felt imperfect, they were unhappy. How do we today in our imperfection allow ourselves to feel God's love when we are looking for love from a human perception? I don't have all the answers- but I learned today that I have to let out the dark in order to let in the light. It is not a simple task. But until I open myself up completely to be loved I can't love. I know that I jumped around in this post but something might have touched you... if so feel free to comment... if not trust me that I am no where near done... there will be many posts to come!Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06631327770237449889noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4698317295324127803.post-10793671754434736032010-05-06T09:46:00.000-07:002010-05-06T10:16:28.584-07:00Paul's thorn in the flesh will have to take a back seatSo I have been thinking and have some serious thoughts that I would like to purge by way of blogging. I have heard through the grapevine that my blogging has been missed by my 4-5 dedicated readers : ) and I do have some thoughts to share... However, today is one of those days that I am ready to pull out what little hair that lady left on my head. 7 weeks ago I got a haircut and the woman cut it shorter than Jaime Lee Curtis' hair. Now, it is finally where I wanted it to be when I went in in the first place. (that was just so you guys could get an idea of how little is there and yet I am still ready to sacrifice it for my sanity). So this is the conversations that happen in my house- I will use K if it is a kid talking and M if it is me:<br /><br />K: I want a popsicle (or popkeepull depending on who is talking)<br />M: No or not right now<br />2-3 min later there are children eating popsicles<br />M: I said no<br />K: But I wanted one<br /><br />K: I want to paint<br />M: No or not right now<br />a few min later there is paint and paint brushes brought to me and begging begins so I figure maybe if I let them it will keep them busy long enough that I can get something done<br /><br />I work they paint- they finish and while I am cleaning up they are destroying another area that I have just finished putting back together<br /><br />K: Can so and so come in to play<br />M: no because the house is a mess and I don't want any other messes to clean up or people to correct<br />2-3 minutes later there are 2-4 other kids in the house and everyone wants a snack or a movie or both or to go get on the trampoline or to go upstairs and play video games or whatever<br /><br />K: Can we go to mcdonalds <br />M: no we need to go home to eat<br />K: crying and whining and yelling begins<br /><br />On an somewhat hourly basis I let out big gigantic sighs!<br /><br />I am feeling like I want to back up a dumpster to the house and throw all of it out and I do mean all- the toys, games, clothes, dishes everything into that dumpster- I want to keep the books and just tell my children- you have one pair of pants one pair of shorts and 3 shirts- beyond that you need nothing else and the next person to speak after I speak will be severely beaten about the head and shoulders! Here is your food that I choose for you to eat and when you finish with it go throw your plate in the trash. I know I have issues when it comes to raising my children and I know it comes from not wanting them to have to go through what I went through as a child. But by the same token I think they just don't give a flying flip about me or what I say and there is certainly no respect whatsoever- so I chose to put myself into therapy. Monday was my first appointment. I want to better me so that I can better parent so that my kids know how to effectively parent and they don't look back and think "what were they thinking"! As I type this I have told my son to get off of something that he doesn't need to be on twice- the first with respect- the second with authority and the third time with a threat of a spanking shouted towards his direction. I think this whole love and logic is a crock of poo. Giving kids choices - gimmie a break. But then the other side of my heart and brain says how would Jesus parent- that is what I want to get to the bottom of... stay tuned - the thought processes are just beginning. In the meantime if you hear children wailing and a mommy yelling and carrying around a wooden spoon you can believe that this mommy has snapped and is ready to redirect some tiny heineys!Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06631327770237449889noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4698317295324127803.post-69367668887219330412010-05-01T16:52:00.000-07:002010-05-01T17:42:43.261-07:00Ahhhh, OMG How are you? It has been forever! You look great!The title of this post is to be squealed like cheerleader chicks who haven't seen each other in forever and it helps to toss your hair or pretend to toss it and hug and fake kiss... you know what I mean. Anyway it has been forever and since the last post we have celebrated birthdays, Easter and other stuff in the Babcock house. I have been spending a lot of time treasuring all the things in my heart and with all that has been happening have not made the time to post. When I am not spending time with the kids I have been purging closets and cabinets and the like. I seriously think the house looks like it could be on hoarders. You think I jest but sadly, it is true! It has been hard to purge and keep the kids entertained at the same time. Here is an example... Jeff is gone with the boys and as I post, Zoe just ran up to me with a purple marker in hand. She is more of a handful than the boys ever were. I thought girls were supposed to be easier but I am thinking if you have the energy of a boy and you have to keep up with brothers and you are a smart, inquisitive little 2 year old wow! She is into everything and I do mean everything! I am thinking that when she grows up and asks to get a tattoo, the only one she can have is one that says "tenacious" that describes her personality to a tee. Although it might run close second with independent. Our baby girl has really rocked our world. She turned 2 on the 23rd of April and Cooper had turned 7 on the 21st. Because the kids were out of school on Friday (Zoe's actual birthday) I took the roller skating (the boys had been wanting to go) on Friday and we met some friends there. Zoe even had a little pair of skates and she got out on the floor and stayed for forever. I took her to buy a pretty pretty birthday outfit and while in the store she found what she wanted, picked it out and brought it to me and said, "bootiful" - so she got 2 outfits... one for skating and one for her little party with the family. Can I just say that a pink feathery outfit with chunky legs, pink princess skates and a big pink bow on a blue eyed, dimpled cheek smiley 2 yr old baby girl was enough to make mommy cry several times. Cooper was amazing with her and took her to the middle several times to "teach her to skate". The "ref" of the skating rink kept skating past her and patting her on the head- he let her stand out there during the limbo and "help" with the stick. School is winding down and you can tell it is time for summer- Cooper is ready to be finished - his behavior has been great at school up until the last week or so. Bless his heart he needs a much shorter school year- he has done really well this year and we are more than blessed to have had Mrs. Blue as his teacher! She has been the perfect teacher for him. I had the younger two up at school with me the other day and she mentioned how blessed she was to have gotten to know our family. She said she wanted to have all the Babcock children in her class. I said well it will be several more years before you get The Princess (that is how Cooper refers to Zoe sometimes) and she said, "well I will be here- they will have to take me out of here kicking and screaming" - love it! It is fitting that Zoe and Cooper have their birthdays so close together - they are peas in a pod- On other things... TAKS is over and had it not been for everyone else talking about it ie... school, news, others in the outside world, I think it might have come and gone without any of us knowing. Mason didn't say a word about it unless asked and he didn't seem stressed about it. He enjoys school but is ready for summer so that he can just veg out completely. He has been playing golf every Saturday with Jeff and has a beautiful swing. Jeff is really enjoying being able to spend time with just Mason. Jaxon is doing well but is really going through a mommy phase. He left the house this morning with Jeff and was crying because he didn't want mommy to be left at home alone. So very sweet of him to be concerned : ) Was it wrong of me to run really fast out to the car and buckle him in and then skip back inside the house like a little girl while Jeff was pulling out of the driveway with 2 of the 4 crying in the car as they drove away?! Nah! Well that about catches everyone up on the kids. Jeff and I are hanging in there- I will be posting a little more often over the next few weeks as I use my blog to purge my thoughts again. You will understand more as you read the upcoming posts... We are richly blessed to be washed in the blood of Christ and have God as our almighty provider!Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06631327770237449889noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4698317295324127803.post-14891507294464802852010-04-14T10:06:00.001-07:002010-04-14T10:07:22.553-07:00We are still hereIt has been a while- we are still here- we are still alive- I am just busy and haven't had a lot to say. Or maybe I have too much to say and can't figure out how to say it.Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06631327770237449889noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4698317295324127803.post-43362596856639026582010-02-26T14:30:00.000-08:002010-02-26T14:47:13.330-08:00"Bipolar Blogging"Ok so this idea isn't new I read it on someone else's blog the other day and it totally pegged me. I don't even remember whose blog it was on so that I could go back to it and read it and thank them for the post... maybe I commented on it but I didn't bookmark it so I can't go back and read the blog again which of course is frustrating to me. But I digress... I was thinking about the many thoughts that I think "ooh I should blog about that" that run through my brain during the day. Today I thought of a few things... Cloth diapers, why can't I sew, I think I might be a hoarder, what can I do to make my husband's day today and each and every day (that came from the New Beginnings workshop that we went to last year and I saw a paper from it today while clearing out some papers), music that takes me back to times when my self-esteem was higher, the Susan G Komen Breast Cancer 3 Day... whew I am tired... my brain hurts. Are there others of you who think about that many things in one day along with the ordinary day to day stuff of laundry, toys, dishes, food, diapers etc... Am I the only one who balances that many thoughts? If I am maybe there is more wrong with me than I thought and I might need some professional help. Seriously, is this what they call bipolar on the upswing? Anyhoo, it always helps me to get these thoughts out and the other day someone told me I was a deep thinker- not the first time and yes, I know that I am- I am happy to have a way to think out loud and touch the lives of others as I do so. So I guess to the blogger creator- thank you! To those who follow me on this blog- the above list will be in some of the upcoming posts- I know you will stay tuned. Until then I wanted to let you know that I will be teaching a class on Tuesday of next week (March 2nd) on God's love. Easy topic right?! Not so much especially when I consider that in order to truly love God I have to love myself- yikes- I don't at all. I mean really I don't. I think I have some serious issues to deal with and if I have to deal with them I am going to have to wrap my brain around how God feels about me. I am reaching deep down into my soul on a daily basis trying to find this lesson. Who knows I may just stand there and say nothing except God loves you, the end. Rest assured as I piece this lesson together I will have more to get out of my bipolar head- btw- if there is anyone out there that is diagnosed bipolar this post is not meant to offend (I really do think I might be able to relate). No judgements just one of God's children marching to the beat of my own drum! Have a blessed day!Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06631327770237449889noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4698317295324127803.post-84715333896279879242010-02-24T06:29:00.001-08:002010-02-24T07:04:29.227-08:00Death (a very lengthy post)Yes I know morbid title... But my mind is running again. This week I have known several who have lost loved ones to death and my brain is filled with what if's... What if it were me... me losing Jeff, me losing one of my children, me losing one of my parents, me dying. What would happen from here? What would I do without Jeff (ok I have to say that one stays close to my mind on a daily basis)- the thought of it leaves me almost breathless... I wonder how I would breathe if it happened?! It isn't that I worry about what would we do, where would we go etc... I know we have plenty of family and friends that would help, encourage, etc... I mostly play out the motions of pulling my life back together and knowing where to go and what to do. Morbid, yes... necessary yes. Many years ago I began to play out things in my head and what I would do if any of these things happen. I have put into action several of these plans. Before I was married my dad was to have surgery on his neck... at around 4 in the morning on the morning of the surgery my phone rang... mom said in a very shaky voice, it's ok but... it's funny but that is exactly what my dad always says when something has happened to him but he is ok and calls to tell me about it. He had an allergic reaction to a pre-op antibiotic and had been put into ICU and was on a respirator blah blah blah. That was what I heard. I was already out of bed putting my towel in the bathroom and looking for my suitcase. I knew what clothes I would pack and even what black dress I would wear if the end result was death. I even knew how much money I had on my credit card so that I could get a plane ticket and fly home. I have always been a daddy's girl and the thought of losing him - well, I try not to go there in my head very often. He was ok. My brother Chris and I got our lesson plans done, packed, purchased tickets and rental car and were walking into the hospital by noon that day. (I will never forget the look on my mom's face when she saw us coming across the waiting room- she had told us not to come that everything would be ok- yeah right- try to hold us back mom-not) Anyway, my mind has flashed back to that moment several times this week as I have received news of several who have lost sisters, wives, mothers, daughters, fathers, husbands, children, aunts... an endless stream of death this week. The celebration is Heaven must be amazing this week! I imagine what it must be like to kneel at the feet of God and ask if it would be ok if I put my head in His lap so that he could touch my head and I know that all is as it should be- no tears in Heaven? Maybe streaming tears of Joy!!! So what happens here though- Jeff is leaving and will be gone for a week as of today... what happens to the mess in the house if the unthinkable happens. Or if something should happen to me and someone comes into this mess of a house- judgement? I hope not- I hope the fact that my house is dirty and my clean clothes are in piles and there are toys and dishes all over the place will be met with- wow she really didn't care about the day to day stuff save the squeezing of the children and the feeding of the bellies and the loving of her God! Would I effect over 9,000 + on my caring bridge pages like Mrs Jenny that we have been praying for? Again not looking for schmoozing words, just thinking out loud. I can tell you that if either of my parents were to lose their lives today, I don't know that we could get in touch with the number of people who might like to spend a few moments honoring their memory- the same goes for siblings! I am without a doubt incredibly blessed! I can't help but think though about what my grandmother kept saying just over a year ago when we were asked to come home because her end was near... when she woke up when I was sitting with her in the ICU she said, "I'm not finished". I laughed, smoothed her hair back and through my tears as I kissed her forehead said, "are you kidding, you have done plenty... Grandaddy is waiting" She said she knew he was but he could wait a little longer- she hadn't finished writing with the man in Co that was of a different faith (she said it but it isn't important here) and wanted to know more about her faith. She said she hadn't converted him yet. With a blood pressure that most don''t pull through and kidneys looking as if they were shutting down - she was worried about someone else's soul. She did live for several months longer- little stinker- what an amazing woman! I woke this morning at 4 thinking the same thing... I'm not done... there is someone in the hospital I haven't gone to see - to minister to. There is a weary soul in need of encouragement, there are so many things that I need to do... I want to make the most of my time here so that when that time comes - I can close my eyes and know that I used my time for good- that I used my time for God! Celebrate the lives of those who have walked into the presence of God Almighty this week and make it count as a reminder of carrying on His love today and every day we are still here waiting! God Bless you today!Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06631327770237449889noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4698317295324127803.post-5984504041981625162010-02-20T06:21:00.001-08:002010-02-20T06:41:03.974-08:00What is not being said...As Dr. Phil says... "I spend a lot of time hearing what people say but more importantly hearing what they don't say means even more." I do that to... If you were to look at my Myers Briggs results you would see that I am an ESFJ which means I am extroverted, sensing, feeling, and judging. Basically, I use my inner voice to interpret what is going on around me and I am extroverted in a crowd. I need people to help me feel more alive and it doesn't matter if they are friends or family or whatever I just need people. Church is a great place for extroverts if you have the time to visit and talk... but that is not always the case when you have 4 depending on you to get them out of class, when those 4 have the patience of a gnat (so they don't stand patiently while you get to know someone better or just laugh and talk with them a bit), when there are Bible Class teachers are depending on you to pick up your 4 so that they can pick up theirs, or when you are married to an introvert that would rather just move on to the next phase of the day. I recently had a conversation with someone about how hard Jeff works and how blessed we are that he does. Because of his hard work, our family was very blessed to receive a large monetary bonus that was awarded to all who were eligible. Jeff was without a doubt eligible and I really thank him for it. That having been said I was then reminded by someone later that it is a dog eat dog world out there and he does work hard! Within the confines of the conversation I felt as if I was being challenged to do more as a wife and mother to "be" there for this hard working man. So how do you do that... at the end of the day, where do you muster the strength to be wife, mother of 4, maid, cook etc... How do you keep the peace, keep the house, and have enough energy to "keep him happy"? (Settle down, I am not looking for advice in "that" area) I am just thinking out loud here. But, when the soul, spirit, and body are physically and mentally exhausted where do you turn for more. When you feel you don't have any what do you do? Where do you go? I have found myself sitting in the car in my driveway many a night or sometimes in the middle of the afternoon when all 4 are sleeping/eating snack and chilling, and I sit in there and bathe myself in music. Not just any music but Christian music... I have an awesome sub woofer in my van (some dad before me insisted on that being the coolness that it took for him to drive it I'm sure). I listen to songs that will wash over my soul and remind me that Our God is the only source of strength. Yet, I still find myself weary in a really rough time of our lives. Yes, I know this too shall pass and out of it will come the strength of amazing growth in my relationship with God and the knowledge that He will allow me to glean from this refining time in life. Until then I cling to the cross. Nothing that anyone can say... or not say in many cases can separate me from the love of God and that is the only thing that matters! Thank you for tuning into this online pep talk- if you find yourself weary and hurting the only place to be is at the foot of the cross! God Bless you and your day!Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06631327770237449889noreply@blogger.com1