luvthebabies

Loving my kids

2012-01-22T19:49:00.000-08:00

The kids and I left for Nashville for Christmas via car the week before Christmas. I have done this in the past and have really struggled to push through the drive from San Antonio with kids by myself. This year was a little different since we only had a ten hour drive (give or take) at least a one day drive. As I have in the past, I had new crayons, markers, coloring books, a new game for each child for his ds/dsi, basically entertainment for the road along with snacks of all shapes, sizes and flavors that are not normally something we keep in the house. I never tell them what I have bought... I load up the car and get it all ready and when they get in it takes a while for them to discover all the new fun stuff. It was no different this trip. It was however different in that this trip, Mason was big enough to hang with me in the front seat and keep me company or help me out with the other kids by reaching something they might want or need. He didn't stay too long up front with me. He stayed in the back with Cooper and they enjoyed vs. each other with their games. The kids traveled really well. They had lots to entertain them and were thankful each time I pulled out something new. I loved hearing them laugh and color and share. My heart was full each time I looked in the back seat and saw their little faces. It did take more than 10 hours and as it got dark they fell asleep at the time that they would have if we had been home. Except Mason, he crawled back up into the front seat and chatted with me and laughed and sang and spoke of how he was feeling more settled and happy. Music to this mommy's ears I tell you. Today I shared with someone that from the moment I knew what babies were I loved loved loved them. I began to pray that God would allow me to know the joy of having children and as I have said He did not let me down. While it is not always easy, I have challenged myself to take a breath and as I have said before be like Mary and charish all of these things in my heart. These things are moments with Mason in the car when we talk, or shopping (because I am teaching him the fine art of grocery shopping). These things are teaching Zoe how to make a salad for lunch (which she loves and requests often), or listening to her sing, dance and tell a story as she is playing with her toys. These things are watching Cooper's entire body change when he comes into contact with any animal or baby. These things are that Jaxon is going through a fear stage and doesn't want to sleep in his bead but will fall asleep in 2sec. in my bed and when I crawl in he is all warm and snuggly. I am loving my kids right now and spent a lot of my time driving to Nashville thanking God for the blessing that comes through parenting my kids!

Get ready friends 2012 I am gonna be adding pics and doin' some bloggin' about these crazy blessings and I hope you my faithful followers will enjoy what is to come!

Looking back

2011-12-31T10:43:00.001-08:00

As I reflect back over the last few years of keeping up with this blog, I have noticed that the feel of it changed from being one that reflected on my love of my babies and all things that get wrapped up with them to one of how stinky some of our life has been. I started this blog as a legacy to my kids because let's face it the more kids, the more activity, the more activity, the harder it is to remember everything both good and bad. I love my kids and the things they say and do. I want to use 2012 to restart the original intention of it. It will be filled with stories and pictures, and other stuff that will allow them to look back and see what a mess life is with 4 but what a blessing they are too me (even on the hard days). I will close 2011 by saying that I see a shift in where we are now vs. where we were earlier in the year. I am listening to the 3 boys play together with the hot wheels wall track. They are laughing and giggling together and Zoe just went to join them. While sometimes what comes out of their mouths is not always pleasant today is one of the days that my heart is filled with joy! I spent many years of my life praying that God would bless me with kids so that I could be a mother. He answered that prayer with 4 very different, unique children. I pray now that I will not fail them as a mother. I pray that 2012 will bring lots of laughter to this home through my kids and that they will know the love that I have for them! Kids, when you read this one day, please know that every single thing I did in the world and every decision I made was made with you in mind. I love you with every breath that I take and nothing you ever say or do will ever ever change that!!- Much love, Mommy.

The end of relocating

2011-08-08T09:32:00.000-07:00

Whew... no more apartment! We were able to close on our house on July 15th and moved out of the apartment on the 16th. The house in SA now has a new owner and we are getting boxes unpacked and getting ready for school to start. Well, ok actually as I write this we are in Nashville on vacation, but we did do some shopping over the weekend during tax free time! After spending the last 4 mos in the apartment, waiting for the SA house to sell and waiting to get into a house here in Dallas, I realized that through all of this God was answering a prayer that I started praying in 2009. It was a very dark time for us. Our marriage was struggling (to say the least). We were struggling finacially. We were struggling to be on the same page parenting our children. It just seemed as if nothing was going the way it should. I began to pray that God would intervene as only He can. I prayed for finacial peace. I prayed for parenting solutions. I prayed for God's wisdom concerning my marriage. I had no idea that God would answer my prayer the way He did. There is no way financially we would have been able to prepare our house to sell had it not been for relocation. There is no way we would have been able to put any type of dent into our debt, were it not for relocation. There is no way we would be in a bigger home were it not for relocating. In the midst of frustration and trial came blessings and answers to prayer! I am so very thankful to God for being the faithful giver of so many good things! It just reminds me to stick and stay with the other prayers that I have been praying for the last few years. It reminds me to be still and know that God will answer the prayers that I pray in His timing with His way. It isn't that I didn't know because I have always been aware of prayers being answered. But, this is the first time that in the midst of utter chaoas that I have seen His mighty power bring peace to us in a way that only He can bring it. Day after day as I meet new people I can see God's hand guiding us through this relocation. I know there are more great things that will come of this. For now I will be focusing on unpacking boxes, getting the kids settled in school, and focusing on training and fundraising for the breast cancer 3 day... get ready for a post or few on that passion to find a cure!!! Until next post... God Bless!

Expectations vs relocation part 2

2011-05-31T07:56:00.000-07:00

I promise this won't be like a preacher with those 110 lesson sermon series, (sorry if you are reading this and you are a preacher or married to a preacher or whatever), but I have been thinking -again. Yes, thinking is dangerous for me, and when I think then I have to get those thoughts out... so for those of you who check and see if I have posted anything - today is your lucky day. Part 2 of relocation has to do with the behavior of my children. I expected there to be some change of behavior. I expected that this whole relocation thing from house to middle floor apartment would be a parenting challange. I expected a change in my behavior challanged children (and there are several of them). But I was not prepared for the vast difference of my expectations and what is actually occurring. I wonder some days how many times I have said... stop running in the apartment. I wonder some days how many times I have said... stop jumping and crashing on the floor. I wonder some days if the hitting, punching, kicking, yelling, biting, total lack of respect is a part of relocation and emotions running high due to the change of location and friends etc... or if my kids have just lost their "everlovin" minds. I mean I knew after struggling for years in our marriage, that the stress that my kids were under due to the fact that their parents weren't on the same page in their parenting styles, was intense, but throw in relocating and WOW! I was not prepared for the level of yuck that comes out of their mouths. They yell at each other with such hatred in their voices. Mason, yells at Cooper who yells at Jaxon who in turn yells at Zoe. Cooper yells if anyone comes remotely close to him or in the same room (some days). Mason can't stand to be near the two little kids. Jaxon has developed this scream yell that makes our skins crawl when he does it. He also stands there and just looks at you when you tell him to do something as if to say... I hear the words that you are speaking but there is no way I am going to do what you are telling me to do unless you use some sort of force. And oh the eye rolling and door slamming!! Maybe I am just more concerned about the noise that they are making because we have neighbors both above and below us. And maybe this is normal for a move- whatever it is - in the words of Barnie Fife "we have to nip it in the bud!" "Nip it, nip it, nip it!" Sunday's lesson challanged me to examine my prayer life. Not how much I pray (because I have an ongoing conversation with God that really never has an amen to it), but more so a how I pray. Mr. Chris spoke of The Lord's Prayer and reminded us that is was not spoken of as "these are the words your should pray", but more "these words are {{how}} you pray." (Substance over style if you will) Chris reminded us that prayer is not about our performance- big fancy words etc... it is about a relationship with God. Prayer is not about informing God of what our needs or wants are (because He already knows) but about drawing together with God. Any time you have a conversation with someone especially someone you admire, love, respect - doesn't a conversation with them bring you closer together. ( umm I added that thought- and I'll add another) You know when you have a friend that knows you so well that they can almost complete a thought before you do. A friend who when they see something they know would make you laugh even if you are miles and miles away... they laugh too and call, text or facebook you to laugh at you, with you, or about you and something you did or said at some point and time. You don't have to inform them about you, they already know you or they wouldn't be trying to communicate with you. God is that way with us. He just wants to know that we see Him, are reminded of Him etc... and want to communicate with Him. {{Chris, sorry if you are reading this I hope you are not offended that I added some thoughts}} Chris also said that it is not about asking God to align His resources with what we want, but aligning our hearts and our resources with His will. We have to pray that things be "on earth as it is in Heaven." The question came up how do we do that? Hang with me I am almost to my point and will tie it in to the relocation part I promise. (told you I had been thinking) We have to get to know God in order to be able to pray and to do that we must go to The Bible... to scripture, to the life of Jesus and see what He said and did, to Heaven (thinking about it and reading about it (imagining what it is like and what it would be like to have Heaven on earth) and going of course to The Lord's Prayer. The phrase within The Lord's prayer "on earth as it is in Heaven" helps us to align our hearts with God... being bold and believing enough that it is possible that we could have Heaven here on earth is possible. Chris talked about the prhrase "Thy kingdom come, Thy will be done". God's kingdom is His realm... it is where He is. His will- is His "strong desire". So if we are praying for God's will to be done then what are we praying for? Aren't we praying for God's strongest desire be wherever He is? Isn't God right here with us at all times... here on earth?! All I could think of was the peace that comes to mind when I think of Heaven. Heaven will be peace. In Heaven, there are no tornados, there are no earthquakes, there are no hurricanes, there are no addictions, there is no lonliness, there is no cancer (no breast cancer!), there is no crying, yelling, hitting, punching, disrespect, slamming of doors, complaining etc... there is just peace. If I want the peace that I think of in Heaven here on earth- I have to ask for it! I have to believe it will happen. But if my heart isn't into it or if my heart doesn't really believe it I must align my heart with the will of God our Father. If what comes out of our mouths that which is in our hearts then (and oh dear gussy, this is where I was convicted) what is in my heart. I have to be the one who patterns for my children what is in my heart and if I can't wrap my heart and {{brain}} for that matter around the relocation because somehow I allow the moving and God to stay separate in my heart - how can I expect my children to adjust? Did I just hear some of you whisper "finally she got to the point- LOL!" So... I change my heart's expectations and I begin to look for God and praying for His Will to be done at this time in our lives. If I am going to find peace, I have to be peaceful... I have to lay out my expectations for the kids in a peaceful clear way, just as Our Father laid out his expectations of our prayers. I can pray for God's will to "reign" in our hectic relocation apartment. I can pray for that peace... I can find places to go to find the resources that God has placed out there that align my heart with Him. Resources that allow Him to be the center of our home in all that we say and do. Resources that align our parenting practices with His will. To that end I found this fabulous website: Compassionate Support Christ Centered Hope. It is a website that has some amazing resources from parents who have "issues" (as we call them in our house- ADHD, depression, etc...), and for parents who have kids with "issues", but it goes beyond that. Your challanges for today... take a look at that website, and think about how you are praying. I think I have found a way to adjust my expectations and it had to come from crying out, "Father, on earth as it is in Heaven!" Thank you Mr. Chris for your timely words and God bless each of you... especially the ones who made it to the end of this post! Love you!

Expectations vs relocation part 1

2011-04-27T10:39:00.001-07:00

Why is it that sometimes in life our expectations have to be readjusted to such an extreme?! So I am thinking that my expectation of this relocation thing was a little off. I thought that because the "God" aspect of our relocation and the ease at which everyting took place would continue. I am having to change my expectation because it seems that God might have put us in a holding pattern. You know in the Bible when God told Abram that he was going to be the father of a great nation and moved him to a different land and told him he was going to be an actual father- like with a real kid and everyting. Then Abraham had to wait. Not for just a little while but for quite sometime... so much so that Abraham took matters into his own hands- to a detrimental fault. Yet, God kept His promise... He did make good on his promise. So my thoughts... I think we are here in a waiting pattern. Everything fell into place easily to move and now we wait. Part 1 of this post begins with me. Leaving Church, friends, home, family etc... how do I adjust to the waiting game without taking matters into my own hands. I have always struggled with waiting... if we do something like Sara and Abram and rush the plan... it causes issues. So I adjust and wait, I work on not running ahead of God, I attempt to be happy with where I am in the moment and not worry about tomorrow. And so for those who do read my blog my prayer is not that our house sell (I know that it will) I ask only that you pray that God help me be still. I pray that I can be still. I was listening to an older CD that I purchased several years ago the title was simple "Worship and Praise". It was published several years back when the Churches of Christ were flirting with the idea of worship leaders and were they Biblical or not. I mean not to make fun of course but I guess a little... was it ok to sing several songs that were more anthem like back to back without the standard 3 songs, a prayer, announcements, a few more songs etc... Anyway I chose this CD because I needed a "booster" shot if you will in the quiet of the day. I don't know why the song that I was listening to hit me soo hard. Maybe it was because it was all voices and we have been worshiping with a church that has a praise band (don't judge - we aren't sold but we like it for now), maybe it was the words that were being delivered at a time when I am feeling discouraged. But the song... Be strong and courageous and do not be afraid, the Lord goes with you each and every day, He'll never forsake you... Maybe Sara and Abram felt God's presence and then were asked to wait until the time was right (just as the Bibe says about the birth of Jesus). That is kind of how I feel... I know it is stupid but I also know that Satan knows exactly were to attack and strikes with the time is perfect for him. So today I am humming that tune as I play with Zoe and Jaxon, as I wait for the moment to go pick up the boys and find a way to spend the afternoon doing something fun with them, and as I find a better way for bedtime to work for all of us. I live for today, right now for just today, without thinking about what God is going to do for us next in this relocation, but just being mindful of the gift that I have been given today to be at home with my kids and to have a safe place to live with food to eat and clothes to wear and the courage to not be afraid of the future because God is in control.

Bless their hearts

2011-03-19T21:54:00.000-07:00

Our boys had a moment in the car tonight that really broke our hearts. People say that children are resilliant, and while that is true, it doesn't mean that they don't have feelings. This move is hard on all of us, and while the boys were so excited about the "trip" and a new place to live, tonight they had a rush of emotions that hit. Jeff's friends Woody and Kelly invited us over for dinner. They all went to school at ACU and were so kind to have us over. Neither Mason nor Cooper really wanted to go... nerves I guess, even though they had not been out of the apt all day. Fear of the unknown was at the center I am sure and with Monday and new school, new teachers, etc, they were feeling emotional. All the kids did pretty well for the first little while. Cooper found lots of new stuff to play with and towards the end or our visit he got frustrated because he wanted to play with a particualr toy (a noisy one) and it was disrupting the movie that the others were watching. On the way home, Cooper said that he just wanted to go back to San Antonio and see his friend Eli. Mason said he just wanted to go home (SA) and see his school friends. Ouch!! I know they will be ok but in the meantime, I did explain that Mommy knows exactly how they feel. It is hard to start in a new place and put yourself out there. We are comfortable where we are. The same is true for The Church these days. The attempt to deepen our worship and develop a true relationship with God is a foreign concept to some. We are comfortable with the people we know on our side of the building. We are comfortable with the friends that we have and are not always willing to step out into the aisle- or across it and introduce ourselves. It is hard to walk down the hallway and look at someone we don't know and introduce ourselves and get to know them. We really must allow God to use us in areas of our lives even the ones that take us out of our comfort zone. That is what this move is for us. All of us! I pray that God will help us find peace in this move and help us as parents to use this as an enormous teachable moment for our kids. Until next time I pray that each of your will find a way to step out of your comfort zone and find someway to glorify God and bless someone else's life this week!

Stacia Crafton this one's for you

2011-03-18T07:07:00.001-07:00

So I have this friend - many of you might know her and she says to me on a regular basis, "update your blog!" I think she might be a stalker- LOL- kidding friend. Lots and lots have happened over the last few weeks and it is time I used this blog for recording what is going on with our family. To begin, roughly 8-9 weeks ago Jeff interviewed for a postition with USAA (whom he has worked for for the last 12 years), he got the position and it came with a move to Dallas. So, here we are, ready for our house to be put on the market, an enormous amount of stuff in storage and living in a 3 bedroom apt in the Carrollton area. It has been emotional on all of us to say the least but making the decision to come here instead of being a family divided with Jeff working here during the week and us in SA without him was indeed a good one. Last night we actually sat down at the table together to eat dinner and shared great stories and laughter and such! It was fantastic! By the way if you know anyone looking to buy a house in a quiet neighborhood, in a cul-de-sac (gated community by the way), new paint in and out, new carpet, new sod in front yard, 1800 sq feet for a fantastic price... let me know! Moving allows for a fresh start for us. It allows us to see both our strengths and weaknesses. It helps us to remember to rely on the Almighty One to have control and show His direction for us! There have been some crazy amazing God stories that have revealed themselves to us over the last 8-9 weeks but I will save those for another post. Until then I thought I would share some funnies we have heard from the mouths of our babes.

Cooper: President George Bush Turnpike? I didn't know his last name was Turnpike!?

Jaxon: Yay this is the day we move to Dallas! That is just perfect!

Cooper: Mom, are you lost again?

I know there are others but I can't remember any more. In the meantime, I ask for your prayers as this move is a difficult one and the kids have been struggling for sure... just ask Mr. Chris downstairs- bless his heart. He has been in his apt for the last 3 mos with no one above him and suddenly 4 emotional kids move into the above apt (and they have never been in one so don't know how to walk around and such)... Sorry Mr. Chris- I promise we are trying! Until next time... Love to all of you!

2010 wrap up (sort of)

2011-01-11T16:35:00.001-08:00

Whew it has been a while... for my 3 readers- sorry! Ok so 2010 is over and I have to say it was one of the hardest yet one of the best years in my life! I will be doing a detailed year in review when I am finished wrapping my brain all around my thoughts. But for now I wanted to share with my readers that what got me through was the decision to wash my mind and soul with all things God-like. I started with something simple... I tuned the radio in my car to the local Christian station (K-LOV) and never took it off. There were no other stations tuned in to anything. As long as I was in my car and my kids were not with me (as we have kids CD's) I was listening to the songs, stories, prayers etc... it really really really made a big difference. That was just one of the steps I took. It was a good one- I will share more as I wrap up 2010 and let you know that I plan on doing more of that in 2011. Until then- God Bless!

Terrific Tuesday

2010-10-12T06:04:00.000-07:00

On this terrific Tuesday I have the opportunity to serve yummy treats to my friends at Ladies Bible Class. I love that God has allowed me the time to be able to go to spend time in study and fellowship with these women. My life is richly blessed because of them. On the days that we have Ladies Bible Class I am convinced that it will always be a terrific Tuesday!

It's more than that...

2010-10-10T17:11:00.000-07:00

Many of you know I walk in the Susan G Komen Breast Cancer 3 - Day. This is an event put on by the Komen for The Cure in an effort to find a cure for breast cancer. In this event we (my team... Team Tiara) spend 3 days walking, a total of 60 miles, in an effort to show our support for the "Pink Warriors" past and present. We dream of a day that there will be no need to call them "Pink Warriors" for we dream together of a day where there will be an end to breast cancer. Each of us is responsible for raising $2300.00 per year for the privilege to walk those 60 miles. It is an honor for me to do so. My Grandmother was a "Pink Warrior" as was my aunt. Sadly, my aunt lost her battle just 2 months ago. Someone asked me today, why? Why do I choose this whole fight against breast cancer? Why do I choose to walk 60 miles in 3 days? I pray constantly that God will allow me under any and all circumstances to minister to whomever might come into my life. I pray that even if I am going about the "mundane" errands of life (like the grocery store) that I can minister to anyone who might need me for whatever. So I consider this whole 3 -Day thing as a ministry. It isn't just a walk... it is more than that... it is a way for God to use me for whatever He sees fit in whatever capacity when it comes to finding a cure. It is a cause that has now become a passion. I see daily opportunities that God is presenting to me (to the team) where I am asked to serve. My friend D'Lyn recognized that our team could do more than just walk to honor the "pink warriors". In this 5th year of our team being together we have now gained non-profit status and God is using us like crazy to minister in so many ways to people who need us. Just this afternoon I had the wonderful opportunity to sit with a new sweet friend who just had a mastectomy on Friday. Team Tiara has had several opportunities to minister in several ways to women who are going through chemo (currently). We have also ministered to families who have lost their "Pink Warriors". So why do I walk... because I believe we will find a cure but more than that because I know that God is using me for a higher calling. If you are reading this and you are interested in anything that Team Tiara does please feel free to email me @ kayrenbabcock@yahoo.com. If you feel compelled to help out financially, I am still trying to raise my required $2300.00 for this year and would love to receive any donation at all. I thank God for each of you who have chosen to read this post and will say feel free to share it with anyone you think might be interested! God Bless!

Above Reproach

2010-09-20T09:17:00.000-07:00

This morning the phrase "above reproach" has been on my mind. Growing up it was not something that I heard from my parents, but something I often heard from coaches. They would tell us to remember that we are a team and to function with the spirit of a team and be above reproach in order to have success. They would say it before a game, before we got off the bus, before we were in some sort of competition. It was spoken of often at sporting camps that I attended. The coaches that said it knew that there were always people out there who were full of jealousy, people who were mean spirited, people who cared more for themselves than for others. As a representative of a team I never wanted the team to do poorly so I tried my best and I supported the others on the team and encouraged them to do their best. As a team we presented a united front of positive, encouraging energy! It made for amazing moments when we won of course but it also made for the whole "lean on me" thing when we lost. As a team we won together and we lost together and because we behaved in a way that was "above reproach", the wins and losses were that much sweeter - they brought us closer together as a team. Getting involved with the Breast Cancer 3-Day for me was a no brainer. The idea of team spirit was one that I grew up drawn to because of the wisdom of the coaches that I had with their above reproach attitude. It meant that I was really a part of something that I could be proud of while I voiced my opinion of how much I hate (yes, hate is a strong word and I choose to use it here) Breast Cancer. I loved that first year standing in the midst of all the pink fighting/walking/protesting Cancer. Together daring to imagine a world without Breast Cancer. We stood all 3300 of us together above reproach knowing that each and every one of us from the crew to the safety people to the walkers all worked together and did our best. We were able to hold our heads up high. I don't know what it felt like to be an onlooker in the crowd, because I was in the middle of the pink- in the middle of the team of 3300 people dreaming of that world without Breast Cancer. Being a part of a team means you can't look inward... that is why the power of "The Pink" (another way to refer to the seas of people protesting Breast Cancer) is so amazing. It is an insane number of people thinking about the men and women who have had to suffer from this disease bonding together to do something about it. There is no "I" in Breast Cancer because those who are suffering don't have to suffer alone thanks to "Breast Cancer 3-Day. And friends there is no "I" in TEAM. Are you a part of a team? Are you a part of something that makes you think about being above reproach? Are you behaving in a way that will build others up the way Teams do? I am challenging you today just to think. In 47 days the team of walkers in the Breast Cancer 3 Day will be walking in DFW. I pray that we will all gather strength from each other and that those who are suffering will not feel alone because we will be supporting them!

What season is it again?!

2010-09-15T09:35:00.000-07:00

I realize that there are 4 seasons per year that are marked by the changing of the trees/temp/weather for most of us. But, I think I have sort of added a season- or should I say renamed a season. I almost feel like instead of being excited about it changing from Summer to Fall that I get excited because the beginning of Fall is really for me the beginning of Fundraising for the Susan G Komen Breast Cancer 3 Day. Sure there are people out there that fundraise all year and on my team there are many who have already reached their goal. I applaud them! I guess I just feel like having a "season" to fundraise works well for me. So, beginning Sept 1st, my wardrobe changes dramatically... you will be hard pressed to find me not wearing something related to breast cancer. I am almost always wearing some sort of tee-shirt that advertises the 3 Day or Team Tiara (I am a walking advertisement) and if I am not - I am usually wearing a pink ribbon somewhere on my clothes. I use my wardrobe as a conversation starter... an avenue of breast cancer awareness if you will. This year 50 days out of the 3 Day walk I will be doing a Fabulous Fundraising Friday. I would love to be able to have 50 friends donate 50 dollars 50 days out - of the event in order to reach my goal- I am excited about the opportunity to try this. Be watching for an update!

by Kayren Babcock on Wed, Sep 15, 2010 @ 10:51 AM CT

I am reminded today...

2010-08-14T16:12:00.000-07:00

I am reminded today of how big but how small he still is. I am reminded of how little he was and how big he is. I am speaking of Mason. My sweet itty bitty cutie patootie squishy little first born... how did he get so big all of the sudden? When did he start decided that he needed a haircut and ask for them instead of me looking at him thinking... I think I will take him tomorrow for one. I got the opportunity to take Mason shopping for school clothes and then on to his golf thing at First Tee. First of all he is an awesome shopper... he knows what he likes and if he doesn't see it then he is outta there. My kind of guy. How I remember the little outfit that I put on him that they gave me in the hospital. Tiny little froggy shirt with a matching hat. It was so tiny it fits one of Zoe's baby dolls now. Today, I shopped in the size 12-14 section - that's right people from 4lbs 13oz and 18 inches long. I know every parent feels this way... I know some of you are looking at you kids and saying wow, they are going off to college or wow they are going off to kinder or whatever. But, since this is my blog this is me going wow... when did he get so big. Then my feeling was enforced even more when I took him to his golf thing! He looks just like his daddy when he swings that golf club. I am not even kidding! From the way he addresses the ball to his follow thru it is scary how similar they are. I was happy to have had a hat and sunglasses on so that I could hide my tears. I was so proud to be Mason's mom today! I mean I am proud of him every day but today was one of those days that just hit me what a cool kid he is. I love his sense of humor and his desire to do well on the things that interest him. Notice I didn't say desire to do well on everything... he is after all a kid and if he doesn't like it... well he will let you know. He is getting better at expressing himself verbally, like with the right tone of voice and everything. I appreciate his willing spirit to help around the house too. Why just yesterday he "cleaned his room" and even vacuumed it and then asked me to come look at it. I couldn't help but laugh when I saw all the things he had stuffed under the bed. I also had to laugh when I asked him what he did with the blue tub of stuff that was in his closet... he said, "oh, I put that in your closet." Nice! He learned from the master how to "stuff clean" tee-hee. But when all is said and done, He still wants to sit close to me and hold my hand. Yeah, he likes to hold my hand. He always did... when he was nursing he wanted me to play with his hand. Today while we were coming home he reached over to hold my hand and we had a laugh together about something (oh his hands are like his daddy's too just in little kid size). I am blessed to call this child/big boy my son. I am blessed that God gave him to me! Thank you God for the gift of Mason!

You know it has been a long time when...

2010-08-03T15:29:00.000-07:00

You know you haven't blogged in a while when you have to go to someone else's blog to hop onto yours because yours fell off "the favorites" list and your too lazy to type it into the search engine. (Kidding of course but I did have a hard time remembering where I bookmarked it). I know all 11 of you followers have been waiting with bated breath for me to update. So here we are... almost at the end of the summer. It has been a good one- I think the kids have enjoyed it. I have to say the highlight was our vacation at the beach. In fact, Zoe when she has cried lately has asked to go back to the beach- I go beach- she says. I want to cry with her sometimes and say me too! She and Jaxon have really been busy playing together this summer. It has been fun watching them. Cooper has been completely engrossed in everything Star Wars and Mason has enjoyed video games, books, and football camp. I have learned several things over the summer. 1. Must have a plan at all times- this avoids meltdowns. 2. No Naps- early bedtme 3. Put children in bed and allow them to read but insist that they may not get up. This one has worked really well over the last 2 weeks and I think we are really going to be onto something when school starts back. I have lots of things to "talk" about but I will leave it at that- it seems that when the 2 yr old and the 4 yr old drag the container of cars into the 1/2 bath and shut the door that nothing good can come of it... I think I will just take a peak to see what if any damage has occurred : ) Until next time!

Accepting the things I can not change

2010-05-10T12:18:00.000-07:00

Ok so I really had some awesome thoughts on Paul's thorn in the flesh and how God used Paul (faults, pain and all) to touch so many via The Bible. That will have to wait... I try to be the epitome of an open book in the hopes that something I think/purge out of my thoughts will bring Glory. I have found myself trying to remind myself (I know that sounded rough) who I am in God's eyes. I began therapy last week. I needed to clear the muck to see through to God. Today was my second session and I was reminded that I have to own many of the decisions that I made years ago that brought me to where I am today. Well, Duh! But by the same token having anger and hurt over those decisions is ok I just can not allow it to run my thought processes now. As I say that... I can't get out of my head... did you know that it takes 8 non sexual touches from a loved one (ie your husband) per day to make a woman to feel loved. Did you know that Adam and Eve had perfection and yet they felt imperfect, they were unhappy. How do we today in our imperfection allow ourselves to feel God's love when we are looking for love from a human perception? I don't have all the answers- but I learned today that I have to let out the dark in order to let in the light. It is not a simple task. But until I open myself up completely to be loved I can't love. I know that I jumped around in this post but something might have touched you... if so feel free to comment... if not trust me that I am no where near done... there will be many posts to come!

Paul's thorn in the flesh will have to take a back seat

2010-05-06T09:46:00.000-07:00

So I have been thinking and have some serious thoughts that I would like to purge by way of blogging. I have heard through the grapevine that my blogging has been missed by my 4-5 dedicated readers : ) and I do have some thoughts to share... However, today is one of those days that I am ready to pull out what little hair that lady left on my head. 7 weeks ago I got a haircut and the woman cut it shorter than Jaime Lee Curtis' hair. Now, it is finally where I wanted it to be when I went in in the first place. (that was just so you guys could get an idea of how little is there and yet I am still ready to sacrifice it for my sanity). So this is the conversations that happen in my house- I will use K if it is a kid talking and M if it is me:

K: I want a popsicle (or popkeepull depending on who is talking)
M: No or not right now
2-3 min later there are children eating popsicles
M: I said no
K: But I wanted one

K: I want to paint
M: No or not right now
a few min later there is paint and paint brushes brought to me and begging begins so I figure maybe if I let them it will keep them busy long enough that I can get something done

I work they paint- they finish and while I am cleaning up they are destroying another area that I have just finished putting back together

K: Can so and so come in to play
M: no because the house is a mess and I don't want any other messes to clean up or people to correct
2-3 minutes later there are 2-4 other kids in the house and everyone wants a snack or a movie or both or to go get on the trampoline or to go upstairs and play video games or whatever

K: Can we go to mcdonalds
M: no we need to go home to eat
K: crying and whining and yelling begins

On an somewhat hourly basis I let out big gigantic sighs!

I am feeling like I want to back up a dumpster to the house and throw all of it out and I do mean all- the toys, games, clothes, dishes everything into that dumpster- I want to keep the books and just tell my children- you have one pair of pants one pair of shorts and 3 shirts- beyond that you need nothing else and the next person to speak after I speak will be severely beaten about the head and shoulders! Here is your food that I choose for you to eat and when you finish with it go throw your plate in the trash. I know I have issues when it comes to raising my children and I know it comes from not wanting them to have to go through what I went through as a child. But by the same token I think they just don't give a flying flip about me or what I say and there is certainly no respect whatsoever- so I chose to put myself into therapy. Monday was my first appointment. I want to better me so that I can better parent so that my kids know how to effectively parent and they don't look back and think "what were they thinking"! As I type this I have told my son to get off of something that he doesn't need to be on twice- the first with respect- the second with authority and the third time with a threat of a spanking shouted towards his direction. I think this whole love and logic is a crock of poo. Giving kids choices - gimmie a break. But then the other side of my heart and brain says how would Jesus parent- that is what I want to get to the bottom of... stay tuned - the thought processes are just beginning. In the meantime if you hear children wailing and a mommy yelling and carrying around a wooden spoon you can believe that this mommy has snapped and is ready to redirect some tiny heineys!

Ahhhh, OMG How are you? It has been forever! You look great!

2010-05-01T16:52:00.000-07:00

The title of this post is to be squealed like cheerleader chicks who haven't seen each other in forever and it helps to toss your hair or pretend to toss it and hug and fake kiss... you know what I mean. Anyway it has been forever and since the last post we have celebrated birthdays, Easter and other stuff in the Babcock house. I have been spending a lot of time treasuring all the things in my heart and with all that has been happening have not made the time to post. When I am not spending time with the kids I have been purging closets and cabinets and the like. I seriously think the house looks like it could be on hoarders. You think I jest but sadly, it is true! It has been hard to purge and keep the kids entertained at the same time. Here is an example... Jeff is gone with the boys and as I post, Zoe just ran up to me with a purple marker in hand. She is more of a handful than the boys ever were. I thought girls were supposed to be easier but I am thinking if you have the energy of a boy and you have to keep up with brothers and you are a smart, inquisitive little 2 year old wow! She is into everything and I do mean everything! I am thinking that when she grows up and asks to get a tattoo, the only one she can have is one that says "tenacious" that describes her personality to a tee. Although it might run close second with independent. Our baby girl has really rocked our world. She turned 2 on the 23rd of April and Cooper had turned 7 on the 21st. Because the kids were out of school on Friday (Zoe's actual birthday) I took the roller skating (the boys had been wanting to go) on Friday and we met some friends there. Zoe even had a little pair of skates and she got out on the floor and stayed for forever. I took her to buy a pretty pretty birthday outfit and while in the store she found what she wanted, picked it out and brought it to me and said, "bootiful" - so she got 2 outfits... one for skating and one for her little party with the family. Can I just say that a pink feathery outfit with chunky legs, pink princess skates and a big pink bow on a blue eyed, dimpled cheek smiley 2 yr old baby girl was enough to make mommy cry several times. Cooper was amazing with her and took her to the middle several times to "teach her to skate". The "ref" of the skating rink kept skating past her and patting her on the head- he let her stand out there during the limbo and "help" with the stick. School is winding down and you can tell it is time for summer- Cooper is ready to be finished - his behavior has been great at school up until the last week or so. Bless his heart he needs a much shorter school year- he has done really well this year and we are more than blessed to have had Mrs. Blue as his teacher! She has been the perfect teacher for him. I had the younger two up at school with me the other day and she mentioned how blessed she was to have gotten to know our family. She said she wanted to have all the Babcock children in her class. I said well it will be several more years before you get The Princess (that is how Cooper refers to Zoe sometimes) and she said, "well I will be here- they will have to take me out of here kicking and screaming" - love it! It is fitting that Zoe and Cooper have their birthdays so close together - they are peas in a pod- On other things... TAKS is over and had it not been for everyone else talking about it ie... school, news, others in the outside world, I think it might have come and gone without any of us knowing. Mason didn't say a word about it unless asked and he didn't seem stressed about it. He enjoys school but is ready for summer so that he can just veg out completely. He has been playing golf every Saturday with Jeff and has a beautiful swing. Jeff is really enjoying being able to spend time with just Mason. Jaxon is doing well but is really going through a mommy phase. He left the house this morning with Jeff and was crying because he didn't want mommy to be left at home alone. So very sweet of him to be concerned : ) Was it wrong of me to run really fast out to the car and buckle him in and then skip back inside the house like a little girl while Jeff was pulling out of the driveway with 2 of the 4 crying in the car as they drove away?! Nah! Well that about catches everyone up on the kids. Jeff and I are hanging in there- I will be posting a little more often over the next few weeks as I use my blog to purge my thoughts again. You will understand more as you read the upcoming posts... We are richly blessed to be washed in the blood of Christ and have God as our almighty provider!

We are still here

2010-04-14T10:06:00.001-07:00

It has been a while- we are still here- we are still alive- I am just busy and haven't had a lot to say. Or maybe I have too much to say and can't figure out how to say it.

"Bipolar Blogging"

2010-02-26T14:30:00.000-08:00

Ok so this idea isn't new I read it on someone else's blog the other day and it totally pegged me. I don't even remember whose blog it was on so that I could go back to it and read it and thank them for the post... maybe I commented on it but I didn't bookmark it so I can't go back and read the blog again which of course is frustrating to me. But I digress... I was thinking about the many thoughts that I think "ooh I should blog about that" that run through my brain during the day. Today I thought of a few things... Cloth diapers, why can't I sew, I think I might be a hoarder, what can I do to make my husband's day today and each and every day (that came from the New Beginnings workshop that we went to last year and I saw a paper from it today while clearing out some papers), music that takes me back to times when my self-esteem was higher, the Susan G Komen Breast Cancer 3 Day... whew I am tired... my brain hurts. Are there others of you who think about that many things in one day along with the ordinary day to day stuff of laundry, toys, dishes, food, diapers etc... Am I the only one who balances that many thoughts? If I am maybe there is more wrong with me than I thought and I might need some professional help. Seriously, is this what they call bipolar on the upswing? Anyhoo, it always helps me to get these thoughts out and the other day someone told me I was a deep thinker- not the first time and yes, I know that I am- I am happy to have a way to think out loud and touch the lives of others as I do so. So I guess to the blogger creator- thank you! To those who follow me on this blog- the above list will be in some of the upcoming posts- I know you will stay tuned. Until then I wanted to let you know that I will be teaching a class on Tuesday of next week (March 2nd) on God's love. Easy topic right?! Not so much especially when I consider that in order to truly love God I have to love myself- yikes- I don't at all. I mean really I don't. I think I have some serious issues to deal with and if I have to deal with them I am going to have to wrap my brain around how God feels about me. I am reaching deep down into my soul on a daily basis trying to find this lesson. Who knows I may just stand there and say nothing except God loves you, the end. Rest assured as I piece this lesson together I will have more to get out of my bipolar head- btw- if there is anyone out there that is diagnosed bipolar this post is not meant to offend (I really do think I might be able to relate). No judgements just one of God's children marching to the beat of my own drum! Have a blessed day!

Death (a very lengthy post)

2010-02-24T06:29:00.001-08:00

Yes I know morbid title... But my mind is running again. This week I have known several who have lost loved ones to death and my brain is filled with what if's... What if it were me... me losing Jeff, me losing one of my children, me losing one of my parents, me dying. What would happen from here? What would I do without Jeff (ok I have to say that one stays close to my mind on a daily basis)- the thought of it leaves me almost breathless... I wonder how I would breathe if it happened?! It isn't that I worry about what would we do, where would we go etc... I know we have plenty of family and friends that would help, encourage, etc... I mostly play out the motions of pulling my life back together and knowing where to go and what to do. Morbid, yes... necessary yes. Many years ago I began to play out things in my head and what I would do if any of these things happen. I have put into action several of these plans. Before I was married my dad was to have surgery on his neck... at around 4 in the morning on the morning of the surgery my phone rang... mom said in a very shaky voice, it's ok but... it's funny but that is exactly what my dad always says when something has happened to him but he is ok and calls to tell me about it. He had an allergic reaction to a pre-op antibiotic and had been put into ICU and was on a respirator blah blah blah. That was what I heard. I was already out of bed putting my towel in the bathroom and looking for my suitcase. I knew what clothes I would pack and even what black dress I would wear if the end result was death. I even knew how much money I had on my credit card so that I could get a plane ticket and fly home. I have always been a daddy's girl and the thought of losing him - well, I try not to go there in my head very often. He was ok. My brother Chris and I got our lesson plans done, packed, purchased tickets and rental car and were walking into the hospital by noon that day. (I will never forget the look on my mom's face when she saw us coming across the waiting room- she had told us not to come that everything would be ok- yeah right- try to hold us back mom-not) Anyway, my mind has flashed back to that moment several times this week as I have received news of several who have lost sisters, wives, mothers, daughters, fathers, husbands, children, aunts... an endless stream of death this week. The celebration is Heaven must be amazing this week! I imagine what it must be like to kneel at the feet of God and ask if it would be ok if I put my head in His lap so that he could touch my head and I know that all is as it should be- no tears in Heaven? Maybe streaming tears of Joy!!! So what happens here though- Jeff is leaving and will be gone for a week as of today... what happens to the mess in the house if the unthinkable happens. Or if something should happen to me and someone comes into this mess of a house- judgement? I hope not- I hope the fact that my house is dirty and my clean clothes are in piles and there are toys and dishes all over the place will be met with- wow she really didn't care about the day to day stuff save the squeezing of the children and the feeding of the bellies and the loving of her God! Would I effect over 9,000 + on my caring bridge pages like Mrs Jenny that we have been praying for? Again not looking for schmoozing words, just thinking out loud. I can tell you that if either of my parents were to lose their lives today, I don't know that we could get in touch with the number of people who might like to spend a few moments honoring their memory- the same goes for siblings! I am without a doubt incredibly blessed! I can't help but think though about what my grandmother kept saying just over a year ago when we were asked to come home because her end was near... when she woke up when I was sitting with her in the ICU she said, "I'm not finished". I laughed, smoothed her hair back and through my tears as I kissed her forehead said, "are you kidding, you have done plenty... Grandaddy is waiting" She said she knew he was but he could wait a little longer- she hadn't finished writing with the man in Co that was of a different faith (she said it but it isn't important here) and wanted to know more about her faith. She said she hadn't converted him yet. With a blood pressure that most don''t pull through and kidneys looking as if they were shutting down - she was worried about someone else's soul. She did live for several months longer- little stinker- what an amazing woman! I woke this morning at 4 thinking the same thing... I'm not done... there is someone in the hospital I haven't gone to see - to minister to. There is a weary soul in need of encouragement, there are so many things that I need to do... I want to make the most of my time here so that when that time comes - I can close my eyes and know that I used my time for good- that I used my time for God! Celebrate the lives of those who have walked into the presence of God Almighty this week and make it count as a reminder of carrying on His love today and every day we are still here waiting! God Bless you today!

What is not being said...

2010-02-20T06:21:00.001-08:00

As Dr. Phil says... "I spend a lot of time hearing what people say but more importantly hearing what they don't say means even more." I do that to... If you were to look at my Myers Briggs results you would see that I am an ESFJ which means I am extroverted, sensing, feeling, and judging. Basically, I use my inner voice to interpret what is going on around me and I am extroverted in a crowd. I need people to help me feel more alive and it doesn't matter if they are friends or family or whatever I just need people. Church is a great place for extroverts if you have the time to visit and talk... but that is not always the case when you have 4 depending on you to get them out of class, when those 4 have the patience of a gnat (so they don't stand patiently while you get to know someone better or just laugh and talk with them a bit), when there are Bible Class teachers are depending on you to pick up your 4 so that they can pick up theirs, or when you are married to an introvert that would rather just move on to the next phase of the day. I recently had a conversation with someone about how hard Jeff works and how blessed we are that he does. Because of his hard work, our family was very blessed to receive a large monetary bonus that was awarded to all who were eligible. Jeff was without a doubt eligible and I really thank him for it. That having been said I was then reminded by someone later that it is a dog eat dog world out there and he does work hard! Within the confines of the conversation I felt as if I was being challenged to do more as a wife and mother to "be" there for this hard working man. So how do you do that... at the end of the day, where do you muster the strength to be wife, mother of 4, maid, cook etc... How do you keep the peace, keep the house, and have enough energy to "keep him happy"? (Settle down, I am not looking for advice in "that" area) I am just thinking out loud here. But, when the soul, spirit, and body are physically and mentally exhausted where do you turn for more. When you feel you don't have any what do you do? Where do you go? I have found myself sitting in the car in my driveway many a night or sometimes in the middle of the afternoon when all 4 are sleeping/eating snack and chilling, and I sit in there and bathe myself in music. Not just any music but Christian music... I have an awesome sub woofer in my van (some dad before me insisted on that being the coolness that it took for him to drive it I'm sure). I listen to songs that will wash over my soul and remind me that Our God is the only source of strength. Yet, I still find myself weary in a really rough time of our lives. Yes, I know this too shall pass and out of it will come the strength of amazing growth in my relationship with God and the knowledge that He will allow me to glean from this refining time in life. Until then I cling to the cross. Nothing that anyone can say... or not say in many cases can separate me from the love of God and that is the only thing that matters! Thank you for tuning into this online pep talk- if you find yourself weary and hurting the only place to be is at the foot of the cross! God Bless you and your day!

Go Baby Go

2010-02-06T13:36:00.000-08:00

Go Baby Go is where I have gotten all of my cloth diapers- I even won a gift basket from them once that included some great diaper rash stuff and some soapy foamy stuff for cleaning tiny hieneys. Wanted to give them a shout out during their share the love of cloth diapering time. They have consultants here in SA as well as others across the US and also have a set up in Cradle Catoire (spelling) in Artisan's Alley. If you are interested in more info let me know and I will give you the name of my rep. They also sell other products as well including wraps and slings : )

What's on my mind

2010-02-01T08:08:00.000-08:00

I have logged on several times to update my blog over the last few days, but the words don't come to me. I have so many things in my head that I don't know where to start. I am in a fight my dear friends. I am in a fight with Satan. I have never really thought of how he really does march around earth looking for those he can devour but he does. He is trying to devour my marriage, my children (via parenting skills etc...) and he is working hard on us. But I have decided this time no matter how hard he tries, I will not let him in. Yesterday for example- Jeff took Mason yesterday morning as he has the last 3 weeks to spend some bonding time with him. The two of them have struggled with "understanding" each other for the last 6 mos or so. Not hard to understand why- they are cut from very similar molds ; ) Anyway, I took the other 3 to church where I dropped them off into their classes, taught the cradle roll (we had 11 babies), went to second service where I was the interpreter for the lesson, picked everyone up (thanks to my friend Dena for bringing the younger two halfway and then helping me to my car), took them to lunch, (we did the Jason's D*eli Sunday lunch dance- lots of people and my 3 were not overly well behaved although not too bad), and got ready to come home for naps when I remembered that I had not gotten all the stuff that I needed for the guacamole that I had volunteered to take to small group at 5:30. It was naptime, I was exhausted and all I wanted to do was come home and get in out of the cold and under the covers and snuggle with the kids who wanted to nap. My mind began to run through a list of excuses that I could use when I called to excuse myself from small group. After all Jeff had to go to work and I really needed to hurry and get home so he could leave. That would leave me with all 4 to take by myself to small group and I was feeling weary as each thought ran through my head. Oh the power of Satan on weary mommies! I have been working soo hard on bathing myself in the love and wonder of Jesus Christ and our Father. I am really trying to draw closer to Him and delve deep into an intimate relationship to the One who gives me strength. I told the 3 that were in the car with me that Mommy was going to listen to some of her songs... in order to do that at this time of the day... I turned on a movie for them- and put the speakers up front only. I picked up the first CD that was within reach and out of the many, many CD's to pick up I picked up Natalie Grant's Relentless. Oh the power of God over Satan- I said out loud, "not today, you will not get me today" - on the way to the grocery store I listened to "Make a Way" - God will make a way for me today- I drank the words in like a weary nomad in the desert. It worked! I went to the grocery store, praying for peace with the children and got what I needed without a hitch. As a matter of fact I stepped into the line and within two minutes of waiting a new line opened up right beside me and they asked me to go ahead and move over to check out. I whispered a loud "thank you God" ! We came home, changed diapers, put children down for nap and rest time. Warm, full of food, happy! I had set the alarm to go off in time for us to get ready, make the guacamole and get to small group on time. Satan starts working on me again. I had read the clock incorrectly- or messed it up while setting the alarm or something, Instead of 4:25 it was 5:25 when I came down to put the guac together. For a split second my mind said, "well forget it". Then I thought, no way I am not going to let you win- you have been working on me all day and you will not win! I love the conversations that go on in my head- I was of course speaking to Satan. So, I put all the stuff in a bag, got all the kids pulled together and got everyone in the car... called the place we were headed to and said we were on our way but running late. 4 kids-check, clothes and shoes-check, seatbelts-check (by the way I am performing this mental checklist as I am driving down the road to our destination) stuff for guac- check, gas- oye light on, not a problem there is a little place up the road and I will just put a little in, short stop no big deal, oh bank card- on the dresser- no room left on credit card (maybe a little) too bad Satan - can't win that one either- I had enough for $2 which was all I needed. I went to small group- was blessed by the fellowship and got home to Jeff safe and sound! I know this is a long post and I really appreciate that you guys are still with me. I just need to let others know that they are not alone in their struggle with the day to day pressures that weigh each of us down and allow Satan to get a foothold. I want each of you to know that I am praying for you as a mother/women that we will use our broken moments to gain a more intimate relationship with God who is the perfect provider of strength! May each of you be blessed as you walk through your day! As Natalie Grant sings "sometimes the sun stays hidden for years and the rain falls for days- but our hope endures- let the earth quake- our hope is unchanged!!!- Love to all of you-

Man, he is strong

2010-01-23T11:36:00.000-08:00

I really hate it when I am in the midst of feeling like God is totally in control of my life and I find myself in a place of peace and gratitude with a heart filled with love for God Almighty and satan finds a way to hit me right where he knows it hurts the most! For all of you who know this feeling, maybe you've been there or maybe you are there now, I lift you up in prayer as I lift up myself and my family! I will not let him in! I will not let him in! God is soo much stronger than anything we are facing and it is through His strength that we will win the battles we are facing!!!! Pull out you sword of truth my friends and pray for us as we are praying for you! The evil one is strong but not strong enough!

thoughts for today

2010-01-22T07:32:00.000-08:00

I have had many thoughts clogging up my brain lately-

My friend Mr. Mundy often posts the birthdays of the undead and the dead as his fb status and the other day it was Bobby Goldsboro's birthday - it reminded me of the amount of music that we listened to growing up together as a family. Mom made sure that there was music going most of the time in the house and she really taught us how to appreciate different genres of music as well as how to listen to them. She taught us to feel how the music made us feel. She taught us how to listen to the different beats and the tempo etc... She also taught us that listening to the words is a very important part of music appreciation. I try to teach my kids that as well. A song may be good because of a certain beat or something but the words can make or break it. I still love the song that goes something like "you.... you got what I need.... but you say he's just a friend.... yes you say he's just a friend" LOL- I know the guy didn't sing it so well, but the beat was good and I liked the repetition. We listened to different artists that I bet most of you didn't (The Seekers. The Stylistics, Bobby Bear, Glen Campbell {ok most of you have heard of him and John Dener}) But it just reminded me how much music is a part of my soul.

Other thoughts:

Money and the lack there of for us these days- since I stopped working money has been tight to say the least but we have yet to miss a house, car, utilities, credit card, whatever payment- we are really blessed! That having been said it has really bugged me lately the importance that some put on haves and have nots- I feel like I might be becoming (I know the english teachers just cringed) a reverse snob. In other words I feel like I might be starting to harbor feelings that are less than positive towards those who have money and their attitudes reflect it. I'm not talking the rich per say because we are considered rich- I am talking those who must "keep up with the Joneses" weather it is the house, the cars, the way our houses are decorated on the inside, the clothes we wear or what we dress our kids in whatever. I have just seen an increase in the albeit desire for perfection and I feel like that desire affects our ability to truly portray Christ. I don't think that Jesus would have cared what type of car we drove- I think he would have been more concerned with who we did or did not speak to at Church and during our day. I don't think he would have cared what we wear to Church and would care more if we were teaching our children to be friends with everyone not just the children that everyone else seems to be friends with while others stand in the corner alone and wondering why. I don't think he would care that there are clothes and toys scattered around our homes with their semi decorated walls or for some of us our perfectly decorated homes with perfect colored walls and toys put away etc... I think He is more concerned with who we invited in to visit with because they seem stressed out or lonely or just outright sad. I think it is possible to have everything and yet still reflect Christ but I have been the recipient of the former and not the later- I have watched a young girl at Church struggle to fit in just because she doesn't look the same. How is that possible after all the examples we are given about how to treat others and act in a way that includes all. It is time to examine ourselves and ask if we are becoming the snobs of the Church and neighborhood or are we walking the way Jesus would walk?

And last but not least...
Haiti- heart wrenching to say the least- I have to say I was intensely disturbed by Sunday night's announcement at Church- yes, we are going to collect money to help with relief but because of the number of Church's of Christ in that country we want to make sure it gets into the right hands ( now maybe I misunderstood - did that mean they didn't want it to fall into the wrong hands (twisted government and what not) or was that we want to make sure it goes into the hands of just the members of the Church of Christ). If it is the later- why do we still have that attitude? Really? Isn't the whole country hurting- and what about WWJD did he or did he not eat with even the tax collectors? I know of a Church whose contribution is going specifically for the children who are without parents- I also know of one whose contribution is going to help with water purification systems. Help that will effect many and not just "said believers" I hope I just misunderstood- I really hope I did-

I know this sounded very soap boxie but these are the thoughts- as always comments are welcome- may your day be blessed with great things!

thoughts for today

2010-01-16T08:20:00.000-08:00

First let me say how much I appreciate the comments left on the last post-Jill, apparently God found his way around birth control several times for us - so I know He can do things like that : ) I got a call on Friday to fill in and keep sweet Samantha on Monday to help out a friend whose normal caregiver was unavailable as was her backup. Then, I got a call from a friend who has a friend who is going back to work this month after being on maternity leave and has a 2 and 1/2 month old - they asked if they could pass along my number and info in case they hadn't found care for their little one. I love how God opens doors and creates amazing possibilities. I don't know if it will happen but the prospect reminds me that God has always been faithful in honoring my requests! That having been said... What is on my mind for today?

Single parents and military families...

Jeff has been working very early mornings into late nights- it seems the longer he has this job the longer the hours- I'm not complaining- it is a fantastic place for him to be and has had tremendous growth opportunities with lots of bonus' and raises in order that we can raise our family. I love him for his work ethic and that he cares about his job and wants to do his best! Tax time has always been a busy time for him, but now this last year they asked all the managers to get their CFP. I remember a friend of mine when I was single getting paid from the company that he went to work for right out of college who got paid to just study for like 6-8 months just to prepare for the CFP. Wow, wouldn't that be nice! So now not only is he working the late hours but he is taking the little tests that are required in order for him to take the big one in March. I guess you could say he is burning the candle at both ends with the stuff at work (ie tax time and lots of questions from his team members and from USAA members) as well as preparing for the test. He is at his desk 7 days a week because he can't study at home. The kids miss him and I miss him. I had about 3 min of quiet time this morning to reflect on how my sister (who raised her children alone) and other single parents that I know as well as mom's and dad's who have spouses that are deployed. I spent the time praying for their mental tenacity. It is hard to be with your children 24/7 with no break. I don't count sleep as a break- because mom sleep is different than sleep that comes when you know that your children are being cared for and you don't have to get up if you hear them, see them, know that they are counting on you to meet their needs in the middle of the night. Side note... people ask how I can sleep in a pink tent on the ground after covering 20+ miles a day at the three day... no children- ask my tentmate- I never even hear her getting up or down/ in or out of the tent at night- I am better rested in the morning the first and second mornings than ever- don't get me wrong the 60 miles of the Breast Cancer 3Day catch up but I'll go back to my thoughts for today.
As I was saying to those single parents and those military families- I salute you for being in the lives of your children 24/7 without a break. I think that is what I am struggling with the most during this time where Jeff is working so much. It isn't just the basic care it is the all encompassing day to day everything. From paying bills to doing the laundry, cooking, cleaning, care for the kids as well as the house and helping with the school work- I try to keep it together so that the time that Jeff is home he can spend time with the kids when he is home without having to "worry" about any of it. I want him to be able to connect with the kids as much as possible since they are not seeing much of him either. As I often say... if I can get it out of my brain I can move on to other things- so that is what I am doing this morning... getting the noise of being a "single mom" and "thinking of others in a situation that is even harder than mine" out of my head. I hope you will join me in praying for those who are struggling. My friend Bryan Hall used to always play a song for me when Jeff and I would go over to the Hall house (before children) it is by Accapella... "now to Him who is able to do immesureably more than all we ask or imagine ... " if you get the chance to listen to that song somehow today- may it wash over your soul and give you strength to carry your load for today!

I know I am crazy

2010-01-15T08:06:00.001-08:00

So... if you know me you know that I love love love babies! I grew up wanting to be a "nurse in the nursery of a hospital) - that is what I used to tell people when I was little and they asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up. I dreamed of the day when I would be married and have babies of my own. I think from the time I was 7 or 8 I would sit and hold babies (little ones) when visitors came to our house for Bible studies in Africa (my parents were missionaries). I can remember asking to hold every baby at Church (Sunday morning, Sunday night and Wednesday night) and mom's would let me. I loved being able to be around my nieces and nephews when they were babies (and I still love them now)- I can't tell you how many times I have had the distinct honor of being in a hospital room with a woman who is giving birth. It stirs my soul and I am thankful for each baby that I have seen come into the world and for each family that has allowed me to share in the experience with them. I have 4 amazing children of my own and goodness gracious I remember what it felt like to have their sweet little newborn faces right next to mine as they were handed to me for the first time! I love that first kiss on their faces in that space right below their nose and above their upper lip. My pregnancies were difficult- I threw up A LOT! I don't mean just a bit but every day for weeks and instead of getting better each pregnancy got worse- I threw up through week 31 with Zoe- and yet I loved being pregnant! I loved feeling my children move and kick inside- I loved that God used me as a tool to grow His creations. I was very sad to have not carried all of them to full term- Cooper was my only full term baby- the rest had to stay in the NICU after birth and it was heart-wrenching to say the least to leave them at the hospital knowing that I was not going to be with them after I had carried them. So at 40 years old why in the world am I going through "baby ache" again. They say you will know when you are done having children- I am not so sure that is true. I have found myself feeling that old familiar feeling again. That- awww my little one is almost 2 and my arms and heart are lonely for another little one- what is that? Why in the world does that feeling not go away? My head says, "are you nuts?" but my heart says, "awww where is the next one that I am supposed to care for?" And hello 40- Jeff is 42- enough already-so my question is - does that feeling ever really go away or is it something that women just decide to ignore and go on- obviously the Dugg*r family hasn't ignored it and there are others who have more than 4 who haven't- in fact I have noticed that there was a time period where 2 was sufficient and it seems like now we are in a time period where more 3 or more is the preference. Financially, it is a no brainer- done - with regards to time spent with each individual child it is a no brainer- done- with Jeff it is a no brainer- done, but why is it so difficult to convince my heart? When there are so many out there who haven't had children why would my heart even think of going there again? My cousin and her husband have been trying for several years without success to have children of their own- I know there are others- so what drives that passion within us? How do we settle that ache? These are just some thoughts that have been running through my head lately and because I use my blog like an online journal in case there are others out there that feel they are alone... I just thought I would write it all down. For those of you who are concerned... don't be I am not going to have another one unless God chooses to take that opportunity with us again- we are doing what is necessary to make sure that doesn't happen if under our control. Until then- If you see a baby in my arms- know that it is my way of filling my arms and heart when they ache for the feel of a little one. I think I have a lot to offer to the mommies and the babies of the world - I hope God will lead me to the right places this year.

Catch up

2010-01-12T08:06:00.000-08:00

Ok so I know that you have been waiting.. so here is the synopsis of Christmas and New Year...

I drove with the 4 kids to Nashville and it wasn't too bad actually- the first day it did take 7 hours to get to the other side of Dallas- but then they settled and I was able to get to New Boston - we slept in a fancy hotel (according to Cooper) and then started out the next day bright and early at around 10:30- Mason was a huge help on the trip and the second day went much better- We were able to make it into Nashville around 9:30- I spent the week helping mom and dad get stuff sorted and put away where they had "inherited" stuff from both Grandmother and Granny. My brother and his wife and their two kids came in and so did my sister and her 3 kids and my younger brother made it in for about 24 hours maybe a little more- so all of us got to see each other even if for only a short time. We enjoyed some great food and some good laughter. Not that it was all smooth- There were some "family" moments but overall it was good to be together. I was able to see my high school friends that get together each month and have dinner and that brought with it some fun memories and more great laughter! By New Year's Eve, everyone had gone with the exception of Jeff, me and our kids- we went bowling with Dad (the church they attend had rented out the bowling alley) and we had a great time watching the kids bowl and watching my dad "work" the crowd- I get my social butterflyness (I know not really a word) from him. We left New Years day and made it home on Saturday night before midnight. We spent Sunday pulling our brains back together for the beginning of school and work. All in all a successful holiday! Santa was very generous and the kids have enjoyed playing with their Wii- thank you mom and dad. As I look back over 2009 I can't help but be mindful of how God has blessed us over the last year (that post to come later) - I know everyone says that but considering how we started 2009 and how it ended- I am so very thankful for God and how he works in our lives! I hope to be able to post pictures soon but I took a bunch of old disposable cameras with me to use up and currently they are waiting on me to take them to be developed. May God bless each of you in 2010.

I'l be back

2010-01-06T08:54:00.001-08:00

I know it has been a while- Christmas and all and I do have a lot running through my thoughts- fun of Christmas- changing dynamics in my "Norwood" family- what is going on with the kids- new year thoughts- resolutions and al- but I can't get it all straight in my head with out it being an insanely long post- I guess you could say I need to decompress from the last few weeks before I can wrap my brain around all the noise- I will be back with a few posts when I calm the noise- I can tell you that even with all the sodas and other junk food from travel and 2 weeks at my parents I have lost 11 pounds- you really can't tell unless you know my double chin and the lack thereof of the second one or unless you are one of my unmentionables- fitting better and might need to purchase a few things soon : ) That is just fine by me! For now it is back to water, and making better choices for food consumption. For all of you who chose weight loss or body fitness as a resolution - good luck- I wish you all the best! Until next time... keep up the good work!

A new day dawns

2009-12-13T12:33:00.000-08:00

Being the parent of a special needs child brings with it struggles that few people see. My sweet Cooper is wired in a very different way than one would consider "normal". As we have learned more about him and as I have posted some on him in the past- he struggles from not only ADHD but also a condition called Sensory Integration Disorder. Basically it means that the imput his brain receives from the five senses do not necessarily go to the right place in his brain and get jumbled up and confused sometimes. He describes sounds of clothes-like if a shirt is rough and not soft he might say it is crunchy- this by the way is why you will never see him in a button down polo type long sleeve shirt with out a cotton shirt underneath (that is if he wears it at all). For a long time when he was younger he would only wear sweat pants-last summer he refused to wear shorts- he would only wear jeans. There is no accounting for how he will be as the day starts, but we do know that the more routine everything is the better and more organized his senses are. Structure and routine play a massive role in his life because he knows what to expect and he doesn't have to try and "change" those expectations because that requires all 5 senses to rearrange themselves. It is like putting a cup up to your mouth thinking you are about to take a sip of an ice cold freshly poured coke and instead getting a sip of luke warm water. Our mouths are shocked as are our senses and we may make a face and think- ooh that wasn't what I thought it was going to be but then it is over. For Cooper- not only is it not what he thought it would be but now he doesn't know what to do with that imput. He hasn't matured enough to find the coping mechanisms to help him work through his disappointed expectations and so he freaks out on the inside and often on the outside. We learned of Cooper's condition when he was just turning 4 and have made massive strides with him learning to cope through Occupational Therapy with follow up at home. He likes spinning and swinging and crashing into things because it gives his body a sense of organization- unlike our bodies that it would throw out of wack. Well, I say unlike ours except for I am wired in a very similar way- but I learned coping mechanisms to self soothe as I was growing up and now, I wiggle, or I ask Jeff to squeeze my feet or shoulders or beat on the middle of my back or whatever I feel I need to make me feel better- It feels like my skin is crawling when my senses are messed up and I am sure if it bugs me that Cooper being young feels it 10 fold. He will learn to cope but in the meantime, teaching him what to do, giving him words to say what he is struggling with or how he is feeling help. This past Saturday we left all 4 kids with our friend Doug so that we could do our "shopping"! Cooper has what we refer to as "one of those" days! It was the first in a very long time and boy was it a bad one. He had multiple meltdowns, was defiant, angry, loud, mean- everything. Doug was amazing! Jeff and I hurt for Cooper, for Doug and for the other kids. I don't think in all the time we've known about Cooper that he has ever been as bad as he was on Saturday and our sweet friend Doug just hung right with him! I called several times to check on him and Doug did have to call me twice (I think)- But God bless him- he was awesome! As I was holding Cooper and squeezing his feet while stroking his hair last night before he fell asleep- I asked him what I could do to help- He said, "mom, I had a really bad day today" "I hope Doug doesn't hate me"- "I'm sorry"- I love that his heart is made of gold and I can't wait for him to mature in this area- and he will. But, for now those days are some of the toughest we have. I know that God gave Cooper to me - I know he planned for me to be Cooper's mommy. I know I can feel how Cooper feels because I have been there. I looked forward to a new day dawning for him today knowing it would be sooo much better. And it has been- not one meltdown. He has be obedient, kind, sweet, sharing, loving- he has been amazing today. And I am thankful for days like this especially after days like yesterday. I am thankful for the days that are filled with moments of him learning how to use his coping skills that he has learned and days that his joy overflows instead of his frustration. I am thankful for friends like Doug who can see past Cooper's struggles and love him like crazy- I mean what babysitter after having such a rough time would stay another hour or so after just to talk and visit and still play with Cooper. I am thankful that God is in control and speaking loudly through others, through books, through the Bible to guide me ( and Jeff) as we parent Cooper! I am thankful for my "blog" so that I can confess what is bogging down my thoughts while at the same time allowing others who might have struggles to see that they are not alone. Today a new day dawned- with sunshine instead of rain, with warm instead of cool temps, and with a sweet precious little boy who feels balanced instead of one who can't make sense out of anything and is feeling out of control! I love new days like this as it reminds me of how God is with us each and ever time we ask for forgiveness. We feel or get "out of control" and our Father cleanses us and our new day dawns not once but continuously! Praise God!!!

what are those words again?

2009-12-10T16:26:00.000-08:00

Jingle Bells as sung by my sweet Cooper:

Dashing through the snow
in a one horse offen sleigh
over the hills we go
laughing all the way
bells on bobtails ring
making spirits right
what fun it is to sing and ride
the sleighers always high

oh jingle bells jingle bells
jingle on the way
oh what fun it is to right
its a one and open sleigh hey
jingle bells jingle bells
jingle on the way
oh what fun it is to right
in a one and open sleigh!

Don't you just love it! He wants me to write out the words so all the kids can sing on the bus like they did when he was in Kinder. He said they sang the baby song. I asked, "rock a bye baby?" "No mom, you know the rock you song" "we will we will rock you"!

Oh man it was so so very hard not to laugh! Thank you, God for making me Cooper's mommy!

Update

2009-12-08T16:20:00.000-08:00

I don't know how much weight I have lost if any at all, but I know I have not been hungry. I mean I really have not been hungry! I have had to look at the clock and think- I should probably eat something because I don't want to throw my body into starvation mode and slow my metabolism down even more. I have been able to make rational decisions on what to eat and when and have avoided binge eating. I have also stopped eating after the kids go to bed for stress comfort- which is huge for me. I haven't felt as stressed because I have had energy to get stuff done- which is nice. There have been a few sides effects- it is harder for me to get back to sleep when I wake up in the middle of the night and because my energy level is up, I have been working around the house nonstop which has made my back hurt a little. I think my body might be a little shocked that I am so busy and can find so many things for it to do : ) All in all my experience has been good but then it hasn't been quite a week yet. I found myself feeling a great deal of frustration the other day because I couldn't think of anyone that I know that is on any type of daily medication. I mean any of my friends. I allowed myself to wrestle with feelings of insecurity for about a half a day. I pondered about how my life has changed over the course of the last few years as I struggled with depression and decided that I would so much rather be taking care of myself (even if it means taking medicine) to better myself to be a better wife, mother and friend than struggle with others possible judgement of me. So I take a stand for all who need meds- " my name is Kayren and I take medicine." If you know of anyone out there who is struggling with using meds to keep balance, please feel free to give them my name or share with them my email address. I would be more than happy to help/talk/whatever they need.

I need a tape recorder

2009-12-07T15:49:00.000-08:00

I would like to invent a tape recorder that is small enough to fit into a cute little wrist watch. With that tape recorder mom's could record themselves saying things like: please stop, pick that up, don't touch that, stop talking please, don't eat that, stop hitting your brother, put your shoes on, get in the car... the list could go on and on. Then when the time was right - you could push a button and the watch would say it over and over and over until the kids got tired of hearing it and would just do what they are supposed to do. Then you could say something one time and they would do it and if they didn't you could threaten to "use the watch". I wonder if that would keep my mind more clear during the day. I wonder if it would help my mental stability when I am trying to get the house picked up. BTW if they do come out with this invention- I would love it as a Christmas present : )

So far So good

2009-12-04T08:53:00.000-08:00

What happens when you take meds to help balance out the chemicals that your body has a shortage of? Well I thought since I had to be on this Adipex medicine for 4 months I would blog every little bit about it and kind of keep track of how it is working- I go back to the dr. in 6 weeks to check and see, but since my brain tends to hold too much in it - I don't want to forget some things so I may post about them. First of all let me say after further investigation of the Cymbalta (anti-depressant) that I am on and further investigation of the Adipex- here is what I learned: Cymbalta is also prescribed for fibromyalgia ( a disease that I still have a frustration about - again another post). Adipex was originally designed to work with individuals with depression tendencies brought on by ADHD- yep you read it- Cooper is a product of his mommy and while I always suspected I had ADHD I have never been diagnosed. So, I took it yesterday and wow- what a buzz! I was not expecting to feel like I was on a natural high- not like in lala medicine land but in the "I can accomplish much today" high. I realized for the first time I could see the individual things (piles) that needed to be tackled instead of seeing one giant overwhelming mess and I was able to think clearly about prioritizing. Not to mention the fact that I was not tired- I never had to sit down with the thought in my head, "I just need to sit down for a minute." Typically I can go for about 30-45 min before I have to take a break. Yesterday I was just blowin' and goin'. It was wonderful to finish a load of laundry from start to finish (putting them away) and not think- "oh, I don't want to go all the way upstairs to put these away- I will just leave them in the basket at the bottom of the steps." As far as eating- I wasn't hungry... at all... not until about 8 when it wore off- I ate a little snack in the morning and a small lunch and a small snack around 4, but overall it was more of an eat because I need to and not because I wanted to taste something in my mouth. I knew for the sake of my body I needed to eat but because I didn't have that craving food-where is it where is it- feeling I was able to make good choices about what I was putting in. I wonder if this is what it feels like to be a person who eats to live and not lives to eat. If so, no wonder people lose weight... energy to exercise, stabilizing your desire to eat so healthy choices are made and not irrational ones. So far so good I guess- as far as today- I am sitting posting this eating my lunch and feel the same as yesterday- not quite as buzzed (which is a bummer lol) but still feeling energetic and focused.

On a different note - I gave Cooper an old pair of gloves this morning at his teachers request (just in case it snowed) and he was soo very thrilled- who knew a pair of black stretchy gloves from the dollar spot at a certain red targeted retail store would mean so much to a six year old. He hugged me at least 3 times before he left and then hollered, "thanks again for the gloves mom" over his shoulder as he ran down the sidewalk to get into Jeff's car. That kid is too much!

Fat and Healthy (or should it be happy?)

2009-12-03T06:17:00.000-08:00

Note to my blog readers: As with my life, I feel like this blog is my way of showing that in no way am I perfect and my life can be used to help others feel like they are not alone- with that in mind- I give you the report of yesterday's well check up for me and how I feel about it.

After being under the care of an OB/GYN since 99 I decided that it was time to go to a "big girl doctor" if you will for an overall checkup and begin being under the care of that doctor. I don't get sick very often and when I do I have just been going to a walk in clinic close to my house. If I was pregnant or nursing I would just call my OB and he would take care of any meds that I needed. Since I am done with the whole "having kids" thing- It was time to establish myself in the care of an internal meds dr. So last week I had my blood work done and yesterday went in for an overall checkup. I had seen a few months ago (while watching one of the morning news shows) that while there are overweight people all over the place- just because one is overweight does not mean that one is necessarily unhealthy. Case in point- my labs were great- blood pressure- great, cholesterol-great, hormones-great-(in fact he could tell that I was about to "drop an egg" -his words not mine- so Jeff will be far far far away from me for a few days-thank you)-heart rate-great. As a matter of fact overall I am way healthy- the only thing was when I stepped on the scales I had never ever ever ever seen it go up that high! I looked at the nurse with what must have been a wide eyed crazed look and said in a very loud voice "there is no way this could be right!?" She responded with a -well, I know others have said that they were a little heavy but not more than a few pounds- she said when you weigh at home aren't you usually naked or close to it? Umm no, I don't have scales here at home- I choose not to weigh and go by how my clothes were fitting. The last time I weighed was in Oct. at the gym before my 60 mile walk and I weighed the same that I did for the last 8 months or so. But this stupid, yucky, stinky dr scale said I weighed almost 200 pounds!!!! Yes you read that right and I am not going to beat around the bush about it- 200 friends- on a 5'4" frame. The most I weighed at my biggest pregnancy was 179- of course I threw up so much that I weighed less after delivery then I did before getting preggers but that's a whole other post. So there I stood bewildered and then I wanted to slap the words right out of the air and back into her mouth when she said, "that qualifies you for medicational weight loss help"- ie you are obese want some meds for that fat girl- I mean really- when did I become obese and why am I 40 years old and just took my first pill for weight loss?! I did I took the fat girl Rx and had it filled and took my first one this morning. How did it go down (the conversation and the decision to take the Rx)- well basically I have cut way back on eating fast foods, cut way back on sodas and have been eating salads and home cooked meals for several months now (ok 2) but I was also exercising and getting ready to walk the breast cancer 3 day. So how does many miles of walking, water, and better eating not translate into weight loss- stress combined with sludge like metabolism that is how. Apparently I am one of the lucky ones who's metabolic rate has slowed down to a sludge like rate in order to protect my ability to perform day to day life without losing my mind. Hmmmm really? I mean seriously - really? So this medicine basically works like speed for your metabolic rate and everyone loses weight on it- everyone he said- is it safe? If taken correctly and under a dr. care yes- I have read up on it- I will continue with my better eating and all but it is actually one that works with my cymblata too. So I am basically a large, crazy person who's meds are working together to give me an energy boost so that I can spend better quality time with my family and friends. We will see! Last night I spent a good bit of the evening battling with the God side of it all- If I am healthy (and I am) and if God made me - then why am I trying to change it? For the good of what others want to see- I mean I have many many skinny friends - and don't even get me started on my in laws (Babcocks are not known for their girth) so I am the largest in the Babcock family! How does one learn to be happy with who one is/ with what God created when everyone around you is smaller than you- and is putting a chemical in your body- to stimulate your brain to make you a better person mocking God- I mean I don't question the Cymbalta (anti-depressant that I really must have) and we give Cooper adhd meds because he is wired chemically different as well. But is it the right thing to do? All in all I had a hard time sleeping last night thinking about it and wondering if God would be pleased that I am trying to take better care of myself or does he get frustrated with our lack of self esteem and comparing ourselves to others. Just some thoughts- I know long thoughts but thoughts nevertheless. I find myself repeating this morning in my head "stupid scales, stupid 40, stupid fat girl meds" and yet laughing that my overall health was awesome! I guess we are really fearfully and wonderfully made right?!

Black Friday

2009-11-28T05:14:00.000-08:00

I don't necessarily make it a tradition to get up and go out on Black Friday, although Jeff and I have done it in the past sometimes. This year my friend, Laurin, asked if I wanted to meet her for some shopping and since Jeff had no particular interest and the kids would be sleeping, I figured - why not! I was in my car at 4:30am and excited about Christmas shopping. Just the idea of the hustle and bustle is fun for me, coupled with Christmas music and a good cup of coffee-Love it! I got to W*lmart at 4:40 and there were no parking places left so I parked in an adjoining lot and walked in and the people I came in with were in great moods - laughing, talking, smiling, until we hit the door and then I noticed an eerie silence (as if it was time to get down to business). By the time I got there all the carts were gone. Oh my goodness- I have never been at W*lmart as it opened for Black Friday or any other place for that matter and I was met by an awesome sight- the entire middle of the store was roped off and there were lines all over the place. There were checkers at every stand but no lights were on. In fact there was only one checker open and I bought a Dr. Pepper and proceeded to go stand in a line. The man on the speaker came on a few times to direct people where to pick up holding tickets for certain items. Once you got your ticket you went to stand in that line, and you could only get that item if you had a ticket. If the tickets were gone then the items were gone. I guess that was a really great way to prevent total pandemonium. As the minutes ticked by I noticed that people were no longer in lines they began to group in. It didn't matter if I had been standing there for 20 min if there was a place to squeeze a body in - someone squeezed in. As they began to cut off the plastic from the pallets in the aisle the announcer came on the speaker and asked for there to be no shoving or pushing and to please walk when the ropes were cut. Since I had no agenda, I felt like I was in good shape to just wonder and if I saw a really good deal ok, maybe I would pick it up. The ropes went down and I am not kidding it took me 20 min to get to the back of the store. I saw a whole pallet of something already gone and overheard 2 women who were together but had come from different areas exclaim - "I can't believe they are already gone!" The store had been open for only 10 mins by the time I got to that area. When I arrived at the back - they rolled out a pallet portable DVD players- I didn't know the price but knew it would be nice to have one for the trip at Christmas, so, I picked one up as the plastic fell to the floor. I came back by that pallet 5 min later and it was completely gone- there was something new in it's place. I did find a cart in the toy section that had been abandoned so I was able to get one and by this time had 3 things in it. I have to say it was much easier to shop without it because there was very little kindness when it came to "traffic shopping laws". I must have pushed that cart around with my mouth dropped open because I was appalled at the lack of kindness and the amount of not just rude but blatant disregard for human beings all for the sport of saving the almighty dollar. I've decided that Black Friday at a place like that should be for people who only make a certain amount of money per year and that if you can't show proof of how little you make, then you can't come in until the doorbuster sales are over. That was just one of the thoughts that came into my head as I was standing there waiting to get my cart out into an aisle. If you know me at all, you know I am a people watcher and so I had no problem at all being patient and kind until a man who could see that I was stuck between a pallet and an endcap (the wheel to the cart was stuck) and I was having a hard time getting my cart through, decided to try and squeeze between my cart and the endcap without helping me get unstuck. He could have gone around on the other side of the pallet (although it was somewhat blocked on that side as well). He could have turned and gone down the aisle and gone around and come down the aisle that was behind me. But, NO, he decided he would try to squeeze through my stuck cart and the empty shelves on the end of the aisle. A moment took over me and I said as I touched him on the arm, " Umm sir I would be more than happy to let you go by if you would help me get my cart unstuck." He stopped and looked at me like I was crazy but did go back around and give the pallet a push. That was all it took. I was free! I had to shout thank you to the back of his head- talk about a man on a mission! Waiting in line was pretty much uneventful because I was in the 10 items or less lane. There was a lady in front of me that was a talker and that was nice. She has a tradition of shopping every Black Friday and when I commented about the lady who passed with 2 carts full of toys and asked how that was possible, she said that that lady was the cart woman and she probably had a team of 3 other women or men and each had a list of what they were responsible for grabbing and when their arms were full they would meet at the cart drop off their stuff and go back for more! Ahh, the man on the mission : ) All in all in was an awesome experience and I think next year I would love to have a shopping possy. I won't even ask to be the cart girl- I'll get out there and grab with the best of them! Any takers? As I end this very long post, my favorite quote from yesterday comes to mind. A lady on the phone was overheard saying, "THIS is why I never shop @ W*lmart, it is just chaos!" The lady to the right of me just behind my shoulder started laughing at the same time I did and asked me if I thought she knew it was Black Friday? DUH!!!!

Can you still hear the bell ring?

2009-11-22T18:12:00.000-08:00

I love the whole Christmas season- I mean I love love love it all!! The decor, the music, the gift shopping and giving, the movies, the whole idea of the magic of Santa. My kids believe in Santa and I love that. There are several of his friends who have been talking to him... and when he asked the other day I referred to the movie "The Polar Express"- I asked if he could still hear the bells- he said, "yes"- He then promptly went to school and told the kids that if they could hear the bells ring then the Spirit of Christmas was still alive and well-hmmm right out of my mouth- I like that he won't let others tell him what to believe- I hope he keeps that with him forever- I like that he didn't just take a friend's word for something, but came to me instead- I hope he keeps that with him forever too. Tonight we got out the Christmas deocr and the kids worked together despite their little sister's efforts to destroy things and the tree is perfect! Not in the sense that it looks like the ones in the stores but it looks like a mommy and daddy enjoyed watching their kids creative freedom and enjoyed watching them work together. Jaxon must have said thank you a least a dozen times after we got it all up and turned out the lights. As I was putting on his night time diaper- he said thank you again and this time said, "thank you, mommy, for the Christmas tree you let me build". Too Cute - that boy! We watched "Polar Express" twice while we worked. Cooper seemed a little sad towards the end and when I asked him why - he said that he just loved that movie so much that it made him love Christmas so much. He is my little deep thinker! So I end today and do as I have done at the end of many days, doing as Mary did with Jesus and treasuring all these things in my heart!

ummm

2009-11-21T07:09:00.001-08:00

REALLY??!!

Is that an elephant in the room?

2009-11-20T05:33:00.000-08:00

As the holidays approach I am thinking a lot about families... specifically families that try to make it all work right when there are issues that stand in the way. These families put things aside "for the sake of the holidays" and try to make it all look good and work right when deep down there are issues that could clear the air and allow these families to make a new fresh start and bond them together again. In essence the giant elephant in the room is ignored so that "tradition" can take on a role and the actors (ie family members) create more issues instead of just finding a way to come to grips and get rid of the elephant. I speak from experience of course but also have friends and acquaintances who struggle with this particular state of affairs. Several years ago, my family was in this position as we dealt with some pretty serious issues in my family. I remember getting the kids settled in with entertainment and sitting down in the living room with all the adults in the family and airing out what needed to be aired. It took some time and not everything was solved that day and it certainly not what I would call the perfect family holiday get together, however, it brought some of us closer together for having been there. This time last year, Jeff and I found ourselves in unchartered waters and we were trying to keep our heads above water and smile and make it all "look good". After much soul searching and a brief conversation with a friend and his wife- we took the opportunity to out the elephant in our marriage at an extensive weekend marriage conference. It was intense and it was expensive but it was totally worth it. As the holidays approach this year things are very very different. I am thankful that God grace covers our mistakes and places people in our lives to help see us through when the going looks impossible from the inside but we are not willing to let others see that. I pray that God will lead people to these struggling families and see them through to peace as he did ours this last year!

A glitch

2009-11-19T06:55:00.000-08:00

Ok so there is a glitch in the whole potty training thing- everything is fine if he is naked- no accidents or anything- he will go to the potty for pee and poop- no fear, no nothing. However, if he has undies or pants or anything at all on - then he doesn't go- he has accidents. Not all the time but during the late afternoon and early evening- as if his brain is too tired to remember that he is not wearing a diaper- can you say wearing thin on mommy? So here is my delima- I will be driving home with the kids alone to Nashville the week of Christmas- do I hold off and wait knowing that the excitement of being at my parents with cousins and friends etc... will set us back and don't even get me started on the 16 hours of driving there and then 16 hours back OR do I wait and concentrate after the new year? Any thoughts out there?

Potty Training

2009-11-13T09:01:00.000-08:00

I have been pretty laid back when it came to potty training with my kids. I have followed pretty much the advice of my pediatrician gave me with Mason - "when he is ready he will let you know and you won't have any problems" along with advice about paci's and blankets came the advice that they will not go to kinder with a diaper and will not go to college with the other two things she has been very good about encouraging just to let all things just work when the time is right. So, with Mason, the summer before he turned 4 he said one day that he wanted to wear big boy undies and I let him and after the 5th accident that day I told him I thought we should wait a week or two. Along with that comment came the discussion of we didn't want to make a mess in our undies on the pictures that were on there. About 3 weeks later he said he wanted to try again and we never had a problem after that. I don't remember having any accidents. Now, he was still wearing night time help, but that is a whole other story. Anyway for us it was easy squeesy. Fast forward to Cooper at 3 almost 4 - showing interest but not really ready, unfortunately I started back to work just before he turned 4 and the preschool said, he had to learn- it took about 2 weeks total because he was almost ready- he surpassed the kids that were in the class because he was almost ready and there were very few problems with him as well. It hasn't been as smooth with him because he tends to be one of those who waits till the last minute but as far as the teaching part - not to bad. Fast forward until now- Jaxon turned 4 on Oct. 17th and despite many encouraging comments on getting him out of diapers and off the paci - I continue to remain faithful to our pediatrician's wisdom. Yesterday he spent half the day in his undies and we even went to the grocery store in them. I asked him yesterday if he wanted to wear them and he said yes. The few other times I had asked he had said no. Today is day two and he has been in the the whole morning with no problems. It will be great to have only 1 in diapers when all is said and done! I am very proud of Jaxon and we have done many potty dances around these parts over the last 24 hours. A big thank you to cousin Henry for his encouragement this weekend in going to the potty at MarMar and Poppy's house. Jaxon said,"it was magical!" I guess it was time for Jaxon to become magical as well. "Potty on!"

I'm Back and almost into the swing of things again

2009-11-10T15:37:00.000-08:00

While it will take me awhile to decompress and be able to post about this year- it is good to be back and back into the swing of everyday life. As I write this the kids are eating dinner and watching tv and I am sitting in front of my computer eating and catching up on emails - clearing out the trash etc... I signed up to teach ladies Bible class before I left and taught this morning and have no idea what I said really or if anything came out of it but it was good to write the lesson and allow God to speak through me- I did not at all stick to my notes and went way over the time limit but in the end I was reminded that we cannot appreciate the highs unless there are lows, we cannot know what it is like to walk on mountaintops if there are no valleys, we cannot sore like eagles unless we know what it is like to be down at the lowest point and rise through the provision from God to bring good from the bad that is in this world. Bad things happen to good and bad people- but those of us who love God have perspective to see through the dirt and find and are thankful for the fresh and clean when it comes back around. I am thankful for only 3 blisters after 60 miles but I am more thankful that I was able to hear and share stories of hard times and victories with many- again it is close to the end of the day and I find myself so thankful to serve our Awesome God!

These Shoes were made for walking...

2009-11-05T05:31:00.000-08:00

just you wait and see one of these days these shoes are gonna walk all over you... I don't know who sang that song and I know I know it's not shoes it's boots but it has been running through my head all night! As I leave I want to say thank you thank you thank you to all of you who had encouraging words, thoughts, actions, monetary gifts, prayers etc... I am surrounded by a great group of cheerleaders. I ask that you pray for safety for all involved and that God be Glorified!

Last day to get prepared

2009-11-04T05:37:00.000-08:00

So this is it- the day before I leave and my brain is full of lists- my packing list, the kids packing list, grocery list etc... I don't feel stressed out too much I am resigned to imperfection but things being better than they were. I am excited to have some time in the car to sing loud with the windows down and use the time to praise God for his goodness- I went yesterday and bought 3 new praise CD's - Today I need to get my car packed and decorated!!! Be looking for quick blog or FB updates while I am gone if you want! Be sure and Check you Chi Chi's (it is the first of the month), massage your melons, survey second base, knead you knockers- whatever phrase you have coined- you are your boobs best first defense. I am crazy- 60 miles or "BUST"!!

A kid at Christmas

2009-11-03T06:03:00.000-08:00

I feel like a kid at Christmas time- 2 days 2 days 2 days!!!!! AAAAAAUUUUUUGGGGGGGHHHHHH- Kara that was for you : )

T- minus 3 days again

2009-11-02T06:02:00.000-08:00

I don't know what I did but the previous lack of post posted was just a tiny example of how things are going as I prepare to leave for the 3 day walk. I find myself in a very stressful place- perfection is desired but I know unattainable and so why do I stress? Why do I feel it necessary to have my house in a state of perfection (or as close to it) as I leave? Why do I feel it necessary to have all clothes clean before I pack the Jaxon and Zoe in order to take their stuff to Mar Mar and Poppy's house? Why do I feel it necessary to make sure that my room and bathroom and closet for that matter are nice and tidy? Why is it necessary for all the boys to have their clothes perfectly put away with clean sheets on their beds and groceries in the house ready for them to eat their favorites- why do I feel myself getting sick when I think about getting in the car and not having everything done. Why do we as mother's put ourselves in the position to make sure everything is perfect? Or is it just me? Is it so I can mentally let go of this part of my life so that I can be all that I can be on the 3 day? Maybe! Or is it the foothold that Satan needed to get under my skin and grab hold of the insecurities and time that have played a role in my life for so long. As I have been putting together my lesson that I will be teaching next Tuesday at Ladies Bible Class I have found myself more and more aware of how Satan has a way of grabbing a hold and not letting go! So much so that last Thursday I spent the day in bed sleeping because of the meds that I had to take to stop puking. Yes, I had worried myself into sick- no one else got sick and I didn't eat anything unusual- and then yesterday I found myself panicked again and ended up with the beginnings of a migrane - I nursed that bad boy headache for most of the day until I forced myself to go to the grocery store and get the things needed in the house for the week. On the way home I was pondering on my lesson again and thinking about what we had talked about in class just that morning. How we are to rejoice during the hard times, how things come along in our lives and blow us off our path- because it is narrow and winding not straight and easy. I have yet to jump up and down and clap for joy and smile when facing adverse conditions. I am human - but what I am learning is that it is all about perspective- I am being refined- I am being refined- you see, we never were promised easy but we were promised to not be left alone! And as my mind said this I said it out loud in the car. Yes, I do that sometimes and then I said, "God you can see me, you can hear me, you can see my insides- I need peace, I need perspective, I need... I don't know. I listen to K-Love all the time, all the time- my radio may be stuck on that station actually. And then as with all the other times before a song came on the radio and it was just the right one at the right time! Mark Shultz "Remember Me"- basically remember Me because I remember you all day every day- and then peace! No headache, no stomach ache, no worry, no stress- joy- Joy in the middle of trial- joy in the middle of a messy house with too much laundry both dirty and clean not in the right place, with dirty dishes in the sink, with children not wanting to go to bed, with a husband who was stressed about work and needing to leave early in the morning so that I was the parent getting everyone ready and out the door. Joy that I am remembered- peace that Satan does not have the foothold that he thought because the Holy Spirit dwells in me and reminds me that we were never promised ease but we were promised peace- I love my God- I will do what I can to get ready to leave in 3 days- by using my excitement and turning it into energy to get done as much as possible and then know that it will all be ok- because God will use this time and glory will be to HIm! What an awesome God we serve!

T-minus 3 days and counting

2009-11-02T05:46:00.000-08:00

One of those nights

2009-10-28T05:19:00.001-07:00

No not the lost and lonely ones nights, nor was it one of those where I was the pretty mamma, I might have caught a glimpse of the daughter of the devil but she was not dressed in white- she was in halloween pj's- Eagles fans will be singing all day now!

Anyhoo last night was one of those nights where after the first 2 hours of peaceful sleep, it was a downhill, yucky, noisy night. Can't even begin to tell you how many times I have used the backspace button already during this post. I have resorted to typing with my eyes closed because I make fewer mistakes that way. I had a great typing teacher in HS! So- I woke at 12:30 after falling asleep before 9:00 because I was having a really funky bad dream about having a bad experience and not being able to rely on a boss who couldn't be found and sent all the daycare kids and parents to my house when I had just gotten home from having a baby- yikes- so then I was up- took a hot bath to try and settle again, ate a little snack (sandwich) and then fell asleep for 45 min before waking to the sound of Zoe- Zoe was up at 2:00 and didn't go back to sleep until 6:15ish. Jeff got up at 4:00 and took over while trying to get some emails cleaned out from work but in my sleep I could hear Zoe crying and kept trying to find the baby in my dream that was crying in the middle of me trying to teach my middle school science class. Back up at 5:00 to try and settle Zoe so Jeff could get some work done. I gave her a chewable motrin type tablet and put ear drops in her ears and she settled after about 45 mins but then Cooper got up at 5:45. When he and Jeff went up to get ready for the day- Jeff took Zoe up and she finally fell asleep again! I dozed on the couch for about 25 mins with no dreaming and then it was time to me mommy and wife- Wow! Find the IV and get me some coffee. It is one of those days when I am so so so so very grateful that I am able to stay at home now- both for my sake and for Zoe's- Thank you God! (only 4 1/2 more hours till naptime)

'Member when you were little

2009-10-26T19:40:00.001-07:00

Remember when you were little and Christmas took for-ev-er to get here. That is how I am feeling about the 3Day. I know that I need the time to get everything under control but wow I am soo excited and ready to get going. I keep whispering to myself... Be still, Be still, Be still- then I say out loud- now get up and get some more laundry done! Am I the only one who talks to themselves hmmm...

Silpada Jewelry

2009-10-24T12:57:00.000-07:00

Last night my friend Roxane brought over her jewelry from Silpada designs and it was beautiful!!!!!!! I love the way these home parties are done. The representative comes in (Roxane) and puts out all her jewelry and then we visit, try on jewelry, and eat and try on jewelry, and talk, and try on... Did I mention that you get to try on the jewelry?! She had sooo much beautiful bling. I know last night was probably not the best night to have this event- especially since not so many showed up- but I plan on having her over again some where around the first of DEC. You won't want to miss it! I do have 2 catalogs and some order forms if anyone wants to preview before the next party - Currently I am wearing the piece I purchased last night- a fresh water pearl ring (princess type cut) sitting on top of a sterling silver base that is made of little small circles - the band is curved for comfort fit! Love it love it love it! Be looking for the invitation to the next showcase- no formal sit down talking thing- just a big showcase of beautiful sterling silver jewelry.

2 weeks

2009-10-23T05:43:00.001-07:00

It is only two weeks away until my teammates and I begin our walk. I am starting to get those nervous, excited butterflies in my stomach. You know the ones that kept you up as a kid before the first day of school? Or the ones you had the night before a first date with a guy you really really liked? Or for me the night before I got married. No I am not equating this to my wedding day necessarily but I remember as the days grew closer I got more anxious that I wanted all to go well. I wanted the weather to be great- I wanted all to go smoothly-I find myself praying harder than ever before that lives will be touched and God will be glorified through this event. I find myself begging God to allow the researchers to find a cure- to isolate the gene or whatever it is that causes this horrific disease that someone is diagnosed with every 3 minutes. As the time draws near I ask that you be in prayer with me for the safety of all who are traveling to Dallas, for our feet to be healthy as we walk (specifically no blisters), for us to be uplifting to those around us, and for God to be glorified! I want to thank all of you who were in a position to give monetarily this year and to those who weren't I know you will be thinking about us and praying over us! I thank you in advance for those prayers- I will walk with my head held high and with spring in my steps knowing that my blog readers are supporting this passion of mine!

Radical Obedience

2009-10-20T14:52:00.001-07:00

We have been talking at Ladies Bible Class about radical obedience. That is to say obedience that seems a little out there in your own mind compared to what you believe God is calling you to do. It has brought me once again to a moment of why am I staying at home when I could be making a little more money and we really could use it. It seems lately the money coming in is barely enough to cover- some months not so much. We have been saying for months that our finances need a makeover but also understand the need for our family for me to be home when the kids get home from school and not dragging them to work with me (even though that was our option). But the meltdowns from Cooper and the toll that it was taking on the house and the fact that it was not that much a month anyway led us to think that God was trying to remind us to take a leap of faith and let him show us how he could provide. Being radically obedient is not easy and can be a bit painful- and I know that Satan when given the chance will play his favorite trump card (doubt) into our lives. So for today my mantra is God will provide, God will provide, God will provide! Thoughts? Comments? Feel free to leave them.

Mail Call

2009-10-19T06:36:00.000-07:00

In the old days when snail mail was an art form of communication, there was a time of day that all soldiers looked forward to no matter where they were stationed. They would hear someone yell, "mail call" and wait with baited breath to hear if their name would be called - maybe a letter from their mom, or a friend, or hopefully their significant other. You know it made their day to hear their name called. The people at the Breast Cancer 3 Day have created an awesome thing for the walkers there in order for us to get a little pep in our step if you will at the end of the day. You can send mail to us. Last year my tent mate got some pictures that her daughter and her daughters friends had drawn. It was a wonderful surprise for her to get and they made a great addition to the inside of our tent : ). Here is a copy of the post from our Team Captain that is on the teamtiara website (teamtiara.net):

There’s nothing like a letter from a loved one to inspire you to keep going. If you’d like to write a letter to a 3-Day walker, it will be waiting in Camp at the end of the first day.

Send letters to:
Breast Cancer 3-Day Post Office
ATTN: INSERT NAME OF PARTICIPANT
P.O. Box 126496
Benbrook, TX 76126

Envelopes only, please. No boxes or large packages. Mail must be postmarked no later than October 27th in order to ensure delivery. Any mail that is not retrieved by the participant by November 20th will be destroyed.

If the mood strikes you this week- I would love to hear from you while I am at the 3 day!

4 years ago today

2009-10-17T06:35:00.000-07:00

It is hard to believe that 4 years ago today I gave birth to a sweet, crazy, wild man named Jaxon. After 5 days in the hospital on yucky medicine trying to get me to 33 weeks pregnant, he was determined to make his entrance - so they turned off the medicine and let me shower as they waited for a bed to open up in L&D. I had a visit from the Tart family- just to say hi! And then my friend Shannon came over after she dropped off Anna at preschool. She stayed and we talked and laughed and all the while I was contracting but the pain didn't seem too bad- I only had to stop a few times and say ow. By the time they moved me over to L&D I was a 6. My doctor, knowing that I didn't care for the whole natural thing said, "nobody touch her get the anesthesiologist in her right now and I will be right back." He actually made it back into the room before I could get my epidural chewing and coughing- turns out he was cramming his sandwich down- lol. He stayed in the room for the rest of the time after that. Never left our bedside. He laughed and talked with Jeff until I got numb and then I went 7-10 in no time and then Jaxon!!! He still has the same face when he cries : ) Here are 4 things I love about this squishy, snugglie, cutie patootie, who can be quite the annoyance to his big brothers:

1. He loves to snuggle at anytime (bedtime, naptime, playtime whatever)
2. He tells me I am bootiful and dat I am dee best mommy ever ( every day )
3. He loves to play chase with Zoe
4. He loves to play on the computer and can find his websites and maneuver them like no 4 year old should be able to do.

Happy birthday crazy boy! Mommy loves you!

I will carry my flag with pride for this face!

2009-10-15T12:59:00.000-07:00

Today I got a very exciting phone call from one of the ladies at the Breast Cancer 3 Day. She asked if I would be interested in carrying a flag at opening ceremony!!!! Are you kidding of course I will! What an honor! What a great way to show my respect, love, excitement for all those survivors that will be there as well as represent my team. The flags have words written on them like: mother, daughter, sister, friend, partner, wife, grandmother etc. If you watch a little of the video that is attached in the post from the other day you will be able to see some of the flags. Our Captain and my good friend D'lyn Biggs carried one last year and it was so cool to see her up there on stage as the sun came up behind her - it is a picture that I have etched into my brain that I won't soon forget. I was so proud of her for her story- for her journey in losing her mom and getting this group of women (and 1 man- this year 2 men) to bond together over a cure- she is a great cheerleader for us and I love seeing the emails called Whoo-Hoos! D I follow proudly in your footsteps and I will carry that flag with my head held high. Thank you for introducing me to this awesome event! To my team mates- thank you for your encouragement, for your never ending fund raising and for your excitement as each of us reach our goals. To my friends and family- thank you for your support- with out you I wouldn't be able to participate in this event that has become such a passion for me! Only 22 more days to go- Bring it on!!

My cup runneth over

2009-10-13T15:16:00.000-07:00

What a day today has been! I'm not even sure I know where to begin. I am sure that ALL Glory and Praise to God for this day. A little background: Over the last 10 years... I did not volunteer to do much in the service department when it came to church. I signed up to volunteer once for one thing and many of my ideas were shot down, I decided that would be the last time I would sign up for anything. Don't get me wrong - I taught many classes, from cradle roll to the Wednesday night Ladies Bible Class. That didn't feel like serving though because I enjoy teaching and because it is something that comes easily to me. But, when it came to volunteering to do things - I just didn't. I didn't step outside of many of my comfort zones because I allowed a large cup of bitterness to fill me. Bitterness over hurt feelings, bitterness over marital struggles, bitterness over judgements that were made that weren't true but never clarified. Don't get me wrong - I wasn't in one of those "why me" states of mind for that many years- I just wasn't serving the way I had been taught to do. I knew I was blessed but I wasn't living like it. When Jeff and I made the decision to change churches - I made a promise to God that I would serve heart and soul. Fast forward to September when I made a conscience decision to go to Ladies Bible Class. Because I worked, I had not gone to Bible Class in the past- the one time I could have attended, I chose to work in the nursery and earn a little money so that I didn't have to be in the class itself. A serving role yes, but also a role of avoidance. So, I was now a member of Ladies Bible Class. I signed up to do a breakfast one morning in Oct. (That would be this morning) Little did I know the impact that decision would have on my day today. I consider myself to be very creative in the kitchen- I can cook and I am good at it (I think) - so the food was not a problem. But I do not have a crafty bone in my body and so the cutesy little things that people normally come up with to set a cute table was not something that I thought I could do. However, with my passion for the Breast Cancer 3 Day- I do have an enormous collection of fun pink boas and rose petals and tiaras. (teamtiara.net) So I decided that in honor of Breast Cancer awareness month I would go pink. So I did- Jeff carved an awareness ribbon into a pumpkin and I painted it pink (Thanks D for the idea) and I went all out. Then I took a leap of faith. As I was getting help setting up I asked if I could have a moment at the end to plead my case for the 3 day. The answer, "Yes". I prayed that God would give me words. He did. Through tears I spoke of my passion for this cause- I spoke of my Grandmother a 45 year survivor, I spoke of Sue, the reason for our team being together, I spoke of Zoe- the reason I walk- so that breast cancer will be gone before she gets boobies! My friends- God is so good- that group of ladies didn't bat an eye when I asked for help with my fund raising- they gave just over $200.00. This morning I needed $1000.00 to meet my requirement of $2300.00- now not so much! But it wasn't about the money- we are studying a book called "What Happens When Women Say Yes To God". I can tell you- our lives are blessed. At lunch then I was asked how Jeff and I got together and I was given the opportunity to tell "my story". The story that proves that I am standing in the palm of God's hands as he moves me through different phases of my life and carries me through each one of them as He promises. And not only that He is glorified in each situation as I allow Him to carry me. Man- what a day! My cup runneth over with the goodness of God! Thank you to all who blessed my life today!

Here paci, paci, paci

2009-10-09T07:21:00.001-07:00

No we are not calling a new animal - we are always on the hunt for one in our house these days. Mason gave his up at 4 1/2. I remember fondly him walking down the aisle at Aunt Jenni's wedding with his paci in his mouth- his blankie in his hand and Poppy carried the ring pillow : ) To say that they have been an important part of our world would be an understatement. Currently Jaxon still has his and his blankie and while Zoe doesn't take one all the time (usually at just in her bed) we have used it some. So, I decided to start collecting all the ones I find when I am cleaning and put them in the same place. I began yesterday to put them in a basket. I found 18 yesterday altogether! Yes, 18- and then found 3 in my room last night when I was folding a long overdue pile of clothes. So this morning this basket of pacis has kept Zoe very busy. She is sitting on the floor taking them in and out and tasting certain ones of them (I don't know how she decides which ones to taste). Who needs toys right?! Anyway as my pediatrician assures me that none of my children will go to college with their pacis I will allow them to have them until their mouths think they don't feel right anymore- which is what she said would happen and what happened with Mason. I think I will go round up some toys to throw out! Have a blessed day!!

bling for boobies

2009-10-07T14:51:00.001-07:00

So today I was challenged to ask 10 people to donate to the 3 day- as I post this I have asked 6 and while no one actually put money into my hand I learned many things!
1) God is AWESOME- ok I already knew that but man oh man does he ever reveal himself to me over and over and over: So I go into a children's resale shop to find out the details of dropping off clothes and all the ins and outs of what they need. You see I have tons of clothes and I thought it would be a great way to put money into my 3 Day funds instead of keeping the money for myself. I ran into an old friend of mine and as we began to talk she said she sold jewelry and was looking for an event to do that qualified as a fundraiser- walah! She is going to do a showing at my house within the next few weeks (probably the 15th or 16th) and the proceeds with go to my fundraising efforts! I will serve a big fat dinner to fill our tummies and we will look at pretty pretty jewelry and fellowship and anything sold that night will benefit Team Tiara - I think I will call it "Buffet and Bling for Boobies" of course if you can come up with something even better there might be a little door prize for you! Black out those dates friends- everyone is invited- bring as many as you can and another door prize will be awarded. Christmas is only 79 days away (I think- our friend Lisa might know) This would be an awesome opportunity to buy something for yourself or someone else. Ok
2) I learned that there is a woman out there who is a survivor:
she is the mother of my sweet neighbor Linda. My kids and Linda's kids play together often and we talk all the time and yet because I had never really mentioned what I was doing or why we had never talked about her mother's fight! We have now! Right place at the right time you better believe it - God has a way of doing that doesn't he?!
3) I learned that my right leg was a good inch or so shorter than my left-
ok maybe that is not great but because it was I having a hard time with my right hip, so I went to a chiropractor and wow do I feel better. In the meantime I was able to visit with him about the 3 day and he has daughters and a granddaughter and a wife - he is surrounded by boobies that need to be saved! I will see him next week and his daughter who I used to teach in Jr. High will be bringing her daughter to play with Zoe. God provides another opportunity for me to minister to others via sharing my 3 day experience- I left my card with him in the hopes that if he needs to share it with any of his patients he can!
You see- great day- this afternoon my team mate/ friend / and 3 day tent mate posted a portion of the awesome 3 day video that reminds me why I do what I do- I hope you will see why it is such a passion for me- your prayers are being heard- my training is going great- I'm sure now with my back better it will go even smoother- enjoy the video and pleas share with others if you will.

3 Day funds

2009-10-01T09:32:00.000-07:00

I am sooo excited!!!! With the checks that are in the mail on their way to my 3Day account I have as of today $991.00. That means I only need $1309.00 in order to have the privilege to walk for those who can't! Thank you to all my friends who have helped so far. If you are reading this and you want to help- email me @ kayrenbabcock@yahoo.com and I can help direct you from there!

Have a great day!

Oh yeah by the way- October is breast cancer awareness month and because it is the first why not make the first day of every month starting today- your self check day. Kneed your knockers, check you chi-chis, mind your mammeries, etc...- what cute little saying can you come up with that will help you to remember- I am always looking for a good one : )

Confession time

2009-09-30T14:13:00.000-07:00

I am tired- I am richly blessed but I am tired. Today as I look around my downstairs I realize that it has been less than a week since I picked everything up (again) and yet you could never tell if you walked in my front door. As a matter of fact if you walked in you would probably think... wow what happened in here?! So I am confessing now that my house does not stay picked up and I am tired of picking up day after day after day. I have been home now not working outside the home since the middle of August. During that time I have cleaned out toys, cabinets, and countless tubs of stuff. I have weeded out many clothes as I went through load after load of laundry and yet there is still soooo much here! I know I am soooo blessed but I am at a moment of overwhelming frustration. I have to get this out of my head and out of my system so that I can see through to go at it again. I know I am not the only one in the world with a disorganized chaotic home, but I feel like it. I have been in 3 homes in the last 2 weeks and I wonder- do people actually live in these homes during the day- where is the clutter? Where are the clothes? Where are the toys? Where are the piles of paper work- the hot spots if you will? I know that I am lazy sometimes but really how do you all get it all done? How is it possible that you run from place to place with your kids- music class, the grocery store, play groups, ladies Bible class, and still have time to make things and create things and volunteer at school etc... and still make the house work like it should- I don't get it. As I type this I have heard 2 of the 4 ask for a snack for the 3 time since the school bus got home 3 people have knocked on the door to ask if they can come in and play or if we can come out and play. I am praying for strength. I am praying for wisdom. I am praying for peace in the home. I am praying that some of you out there have homes that look like mine more often than not and that you will tell me and make me feel better : ) My friend Ben Baily is the guest blogger on his wife's blog and the other day he got a letter from his khaki pants. Ok so here is a letter from my house:

Dear Mrs. Babcock,

You have too many children, too many clothes, too many toys, too many cats, too many dishes, too much in your pantry, and I am tired of holding it all in - would you consider please moving? I would be soo much happier - I feel fuller than a stuffed turkey at a big Thanksgiving feast! Oh yeah and while you are at it- will you fix the wall in the master bath that has been messed up for the last 8 of the 10 years you have been here.

Thanks,

Your house

Ok now I will get up from my computer and continue on... in my head I am thinking of the song that Wayne Watson did several years ago called Watercolor Ponies:

"There are water color ponies on my refrigerator door

and the shape of something I don't really recognize

Drawn with careful little fingers

and put proudly on display

a reminder to us all of how time flies.

Seems an endless mound of laundry

and a stair way laced with toys

gives a blow by blow reminder of the war,

that we fight for their well- being

for their greater understanding

to impart a holy reverence for the Lord.

But (Baby) what will we do,

when it comes back to me and you

they look a little less like little boys every day

Oh, the pleasure of watching

the children growing

is mixed with a bitter cup

of knowing the watercolour ponies

will one day ride away

And the vision can get so narrow

as you view through your tiny world

and little victories can go by

with no applause

But in the greater evaluation

as they fly from you nest of love

may they mount up with wings

as eagles for His cause

still I wonder

Baby, what will we do

when it comes back to me and you

they look a little less like little boys every day

oh the pleasure of watching

the children growing

is mixed with a bitter cup

of knowing the watercolour ponies

will one day ride away.

And now I will go pop some popcorn and go outside and eat a snack, play with my children and ignore the fact that my house is not straight- because these 3 little boys and 1 little girl will ride away before I know it!!

PS If I knew how I would have downloaded the song for you guys to listen to but I am challenged... if you type the song into your search engine- you will find it easily and can take a listen

snuffy

2009-09-27T23:44:00.000-07:00

Jaxon was sniffing over and over again as he was walking down the hallway and up the steps:

Me: Jaxon stop please that is annoying

Jaxon: I can't mommy

Me: Well why not what are you doing

Jaxon: I'm trying to get my nose up

Me: ?

Jaxon: It's all snuffy

Poor guy maybe I should get him some snuffy nose medicine : )

Team Tiara Website

2009-09-24T07:03:00.000-07:00

If you would like to know more about my obsession this time of year- our fearless leaders have created a website for our team. You will be able to see how we got started, who our walkers are and the reasons they walk, pics and stuff to give you and idea of what the walk looks like from a walker perspective ie... eating, sleeping etc... I hope you will check it out. I would be remiss if I didn't also mention that I am still looking for donations! I am having a garage sale this weekend with all the proceeds going to fundraising donations and also a drink pink for the cure stand. Come by and have some strawberry lemonade! October is breast cancer awareness month by the way- why not make it a tradition to donate For the Cure?!

www.teamtiara.net

Have a great day!

You've got mail

2009-09-23T16:49:00.000-07:00

If you wanted to send me or my teammates a note while we are walking our 60 miles for breast cancer here is the address. Notes/letters/post cards whatever have to be postmarked by October 23rd, 2009

Send letters to:
Breast Cancer 3-Day Camp Post Office
ATTN: INSERT NAME OF PARTICIPANT
P.O. Box 126496
Benbrook, TX 76126

By the way my name is Kayren Babcock not insert name of participant tee-hee!

is it possible?

2009-09-21T06:38:00.000-07:00

Is it possible that this guy is 9 today? My sweet boy is 9 today- Mason is 9. I have been weepy the last 3-4 days and couldn't really pin point the reason. Last night I saw a cd in my collection and realized it is because Mason is growing up so fast. I know it happens but it is hard to watch on the day that God blessed you with your precious baby. When I was pregnant with Mason- Bryan and Lauin Hall introduced me to the Lullaby CD by Acapella. I listened to it over and over and drew inspiration from it as I carried Mason. It was the CD that played in his nursery when he was a baby for at least the first 6 months. I came across it in the car yesterday and it dawned on my how really big he is. He started out sooo little! Just to review his stats- he was 4lbs 13oz and was 183/4 inches long- (he was born on Thursday and on Sunday when they measured him he was 18in long- he was quite the cone head) I will never forget the moment I laid eyes on him. He looked like he had been through a battle. His eyes were bruised and his little face was all swollen, he had a cut on one arm that they said might have been caused from my tailbone. He didn't cry at the very beginning and the room was silent and then his first cry was so tiny but it turned him pink instantly when he let out a little "mwah"- we were overjoyed and instantly in love! Aunt Jenny took some amazing pics and to this day I still cry when I see the one she took of Jeff handing him to me the first time! Thank you Jenn for that pic- I will treasure it always. Mar Mar and Poppy were there two and their faces were priceless! Jeff's face always looks the same when he holds his babies for the first time- it is a mix of gentle amazement and enthusiastic love! It is exactly as I pictured it would be when I fell in love with him and knew he was going to be the father of my children. After 19 days in the nicu- we brought him home and it has been an awesome journey! He is one smart little dude who loves cars, computers, and reading. He has a sense of humor that is quick and dry. I love to look in his enormous almond shaped eyes that are the color of a blue Texas sky and watch them smile when he knows he is up to no good but in a good way! I love the way they look when they tear up because his heart has been touched- and don't get me started on his dimples : ) That boy- he fills my heart and as you can tell I am soooo very thankful to have him. Happy Birthday you precious gift from God!!

Here are 9 things about Mason to honor him on his birthday:

1 He devours books and reads out loud with great expression

2 He can carry on a conversation with adults and is not intimidated just to join right in.

3 He is quick witted and has a great sense of humor

4 Even though he thinks slobber is gross you can see his eyes and heart melt when Zoe kisses him

5 He loves to go clothes and she shopping (just like his father)

6 He has a very sensitive heart

7 When he is upset with me- we can talk about it, cry about it and then we have a good laugh

8 He cares about the injustices in the world and is starting to ask questions about them and wondering how he can help with them

9 He still asks me to snuggle with him at night before he falls asleep (ok just every once in a while but I will take whatever I can get for as long as he will let me)

I love you, Mason!

acoma

2009-09-19T19:34:00.000-07:00

*while watching the movie Bodyguard on Saturday morning- while folding clothes*

Cooper: Mom, what just happened

Me: The man with the camera has a gun

Cooper: You can't have a gun in a camera

Me: I know - remember things that happen on movies are just for us to see even though they aren't real.

Cooper: oh the man that was protecting her got shot

Me: yep

Cooper: Well people who get shot "run into acomas" that means they go to sleep

Me: How did you know that

Cooper: I know lots of things I'm in 1st grade you know

Oh what a guy!

What is in your jeans?

2009-09-18T21:34:00.000-07:00

So tonight we were able to go see the Regan vs. Churchill football game. We had a great time and had some great seats. We were the guests of our friends Jeff and Brenda Peak. Coach Jeff is coaching for Churchill and he and Brenda and their kids play a very important role in our lives and the lives of our kids. It was such a close game and we were sorry it couldn't put a W in the books for Churchill. However, a great time was had by all and let me tell you a large laugh was had by all as well. Here's how it all played out... I got all the kids dressed and had Jaxon in a pair of jeans that were a little to big but he is in an in between size and it was the best I could do. While we were waiting on Jeff to get home, Jaxon was playing on the computer and I noticed that he had his jeans down around his ankles for some reason. So I went over and stood him up and pulled up his jeans and went about my way getting everything ready. When we got to the game and I pulled him out of the car I noticed he was walking funny. I asked if his shoe was on funny and he said no. He mumbled something but I didn't understand what he said so I just ignored it and we went on. When we got into the stadium and met up with Brenda she asked if he needed to go to the bathroom because he was walking funny and I said no that his jeans were too big and we went on up to our seats. On the way up though he stumbled several times and she finally picked him up and carried him the rest of the way and noted how heavy he seemed. Ok so we are about midway through the 2nd quarter when he goes over to sit in Brenda's lap and his feet are close to me and I hear her say, "Jaxon what is in your jeans?" I look over and down by his shoe stuck in the bottom of his jeans was something that I thought was his toy from his kids meal he had eaten on the way to the game. I know by now you are dying to know what it is aren't you? Ok so I reach in and start laughing because the boy had a juice glass in his jeans. Yes, you read that right. Sometimes you might refer to them as a high ball- but it was a lead crystal short thick round glass between his leg and the side of his jeans. We could not stop laughing and he was just grinning from ear to ear. When I put him to bed I finally got a clear picture of what had happened. As he was playing on the computer, he was standing and his pants had fallen down to his ankles because they were too big. He knocked the glass off of the computer table and somehow it landed in his jeans. When I saw him he was playing with his jeans but I thought he was just trying to pull them up. He tried to tell me twice but I didn't understand what he was talking about. Tooo Funny that boy- I think I will check his jeans next time!

not monday and not raining

2009-09-17T05:13:00.000-07:00

It is not Monday and it is not raining so why am I crying this morning. I am crying because between yesterday and this morning my children are growing up before my eyes. Yesterday I took Mason and Zoe in for checkups. Mason for his 9 year old and Zoe for her 15 mos old. Zoe is doing great and is right on target for her development- as a matter of fact due to her size and development you might never know she was a preemie. Mason my little 4 lb 13 oz baby boy has reached the 75-100% of both height and weight. This is the first time that he has been out of the 30th and below at a checkup. He of course was a little embarrassed to get down to his skives but he took it well and our Dr. has an awesome way of talking to him and still teaching at the same time. He learned that the vice pres is Joe Biden and that if his spinal cord were to re- tether itself he would develop scoliosis very quickly as a sign. He got one booster shot and never cried. He did cry when Zoe got her shots which was very very sweet. I looked at that little face which to me has not changed and asked myself where time had gone. Then this morning Cooper insisted that he walk to the bus with Mason. We have been letting Mason walk to the bus but usually with Jeff close on his heels in the car following him (with Cooper) to make sure he is safe. This morning Jeff wasn't quite ready to go so I walked down to the first stop sign a few steps behind Mason (you can see the front gate from there) and I don't think Mason even knew I was there. When I turned to look to see if Jeff was coming in his car I saw Cooper running as if he were Forrest Gump : ) He was shouting, "did I miss it"? I told him know and he just kept running right past me. About 10 steps away he shouted, "bye mom!" I responded with a bye son I love you and as he disappeared around the corner he shouted in a voice that was fading, "I love you too!" Oh my heart- I could still smell him for he insists on using deodorant and cologne every morning, but the fact that he was so big as to run for the school bus but still little enough to not be embarrassed to shout out that he loved me ripped at my heart. My little Coopie Doopie is just getting so big! He also read most of a book to me so I know that light is almost on when it comes to his reading development. He was sooo very tiny for soooo long and now is just so big to me- what is a mommy to do but cry a bit, blog a bit and then thank God for her precious babies who are developing just as they should! Go hug some kids today and thank God for them.

woosed toof

2009-09-16T11:33:00.000-07:00

Jaxon: Mommy mommy wook at my toof it's woosed (loose)

Me: It is

Jaxon: yes I wost it on da couch- can I git a dolwer (dollar)

Oh he is just squishy cute to me some days!

Quiet time in the laundry room

2009-09-15T20:22:00.000-07:00

No, I didn't lock anyone in there- I have begun to lock myself in there. The laundry room is a quiet place filled with white noise. In there I am close enough to hear what is going on in the house in case anyone tries to kill anyone else ( boys will be boys after all)- or in case someone gets hurt etc... yet I am surrounded by enough white noise to drown out the kid noise, tv, or computer. I have started to use it as a place to carry on conversations with God during the day. I need time with God alone without distractions to allow the Holy Spirit to fill me so that I can hear what God wants me to do when, where, and how. Notice I left out the why- I have decided that it doesn't matter why- The laundry room reminds me of the blessings in my life. It has a ceiling and doors (shelter). It has clothes (we are not naked). We have food (stains on our clothes). There are cleaning supplies ( we are healthy - we can lysol the germs away when needed). We have electricity (which reminds me that the bills are paid because God has given Jeff multiple blessings through his job). Where is your quiet place? Do you have one? If not- you should find a place for you! God Bless!

When the phone rings...

2009-09-11T10:02:00.001-07:00

When the phone rings and the caller ID reads that it is the school calling, I always catch my breath in my throat. Ok... who is sick, who had a meltdown, who bit someone, who messed in their pants and need new clothes etc... well it happened today- the phone rang. When I said hello there was a very cheery voice on the other line who asked if this was Mrs. Babcock. (after 12 years I still love being called that) Anyway turns out it was Mr. Owens one of the 2 AP's at the elementary school where Mason and Cooper go. He was calling to read to me a note that Mason's teacher had written to him re: Mason and how pleased she was to have him in her class. What a wonderful surprise! The note said that she loved how organized he was and how he always tried his best and neat his writing was etc... then he put Mason on the phone. You could hear his pleased embarrassment in his voice. I could hardly tell him how proud I was to get a phone call like this. I could hardly tell him how much I loved him. My throat had a lump the size of a small apple (no pun intended) and my eyes were full of tears. From a 4 lb 13 oz little pip squeak to an organized hard working almost 9 year old- wow! God has richly blessed me with Mason!!!

Rain!

2009-09-09T09:34:00.000-07:00

After weeks of 100+temps and no rain, it is wonderful to hear, see, and smell the rain today! God answers prayers in His own time in His own way and this morning could not have been more perfect! Many prayers of thanks, God!

"Rock" Obama

2009-09-08T09:25:00.000-07:00

In our house we call Mr. Obama - Rock Obama because during the election that is what Cooper called him- that is what he understood his name to be. Today, I felt he lived up to that name- Mr. Obama you rocked that speech- thank you for encouraging our children about their responsibilities in school. Thank you for reminding them that they have a job to do and must do it to the best of their ability. Thank you for focusing on our children in their world as it is and nothing else. As a former cheerleader there is nothing I love more than a good old pep talk- great speech Mr. President - great speech!

I am on my soap box today to say that regardless of what he says or does we must teach our children to respect the leader in charge- teacher, parent, grandparent, or president- the respect must be there. I am bitterly disappointed that so many chose to fight, whine, gripe, and moan about the president speaking to our kids. I am disappointed that we have forgotten that Scripture tells us how we must view our leaders and yet there are those out there who were willing to censor this speech. Did we do that the last two times there was an address to the students from Commander in Chief- I don't remember because I wasn't a parent then but maybe I don't remember the anger that filled the air of the thought of someone speaking to our kids. I actually remember hearing one individual think that in that short of an address that he was going to try and brainwash our children. WOW have we just gone completely ignorant. No, I don't agree with what he wants to do with healthcare - but then I don't know his full plan- but I do know that he is trying to address what he thinks is important and in 4 years there will be someone else who is trying to do the same thing and are we going to freak out everytime and create a nation of panicking adults or are we going to teach our children to trust God that he is in control. Hug your kids and let them watch the speech - they will be pumped to stay in school and do their very best and there is nothing black/white- republican/democratic - socialist/communist/free etc... about it- breathe people - be still and know that God is still in control! "Rock", thanks again- great job today!

Ok I'm off my soapbox- feel free to leave a comment : )

Football

2009-09-05T12:45:00.000-07:00

Fooseball is not frrm de debil! I love the first saturday of college football and today my son Mason with his sweet excited smile stood up and gave the first down signal when Notre Dame got their first one of the season. That's my boy!

The Power of Prayer

2009-09-02T06:35:00.000-07:00

I'm taking a break from posting about the antics that occur in our family to ask you to pray today.

I have a friend from high school who is having surgery for breast cancer today. She is 39 year old wife and mother to 3 small children. Because I believe in the power of prayer please lift up Lissa in your prayers today. This could be any one of you who read my blog- please stop and ask God for healing for Lissa and for Him to be glorified in this situation. Thanks so much!

Crying tears of joy

2009-08-30T12:01:00.001-07:00

Lunch today was one of the best that I have had in a long time! It is difficult on Sunday to have a quiet peaceful lunch after church with the 3 boys and Zoe. Peaceful meals are few and far between period but today was awesome. It was not because the behavior of our children was impeccable. Far from it at times actually. I had forgotten to give Cooper his meds so he never sat down more than 30 sec. at a time. Not to mention the times he was sitting he was bouncing off and on my side the whole time. Jaxon was squirming around on the seat, sometimes lying down looking up at the ceiling, sometimes under the table. Mason talked nonstop and wanted to play I Spy the whole time and Zoe must have shouted for more at least 100 times and dropped her bottle on the ground at least 50. All in all if you picture a family of 6 where 4 of them are 8,6,3, and 1- you might see in your head utter chaos! But within that were moments of sharing, laughing, loving and mommy crying tears of joy. We went to a restaurant that allowed Jeff and I to get 3 courses and the children colored pictures to hang up in that restaurant if we donated to one of my favorite charities. I was able to tell them about St. Judes and how they help children and none of the families have to pay because people give to the hospital to help. They listened, asked questions, made comments, and colored while we waited for our food. The food came, we ate, we talked they wiggled and talked and then came chocolate cake for dessert. Jaxon took the first bite not waiting for anyone else and certainly not asking for permission. His eyes were huge when they set it on the table and he grinned from ear to ear as he dove in. He closed his eyes for a moment, raised his shoulders up and said,"mmmmm, das good!" I took a few bites and talked to him about the hard chocolate crunch on top of the ice cream. Jeff and Cooper came back to the table from a potty break. They were both excited to see what was on the table and Cooper was extra excited to say that he had seen "crack man in the potty and he was really very nice." Crack man was the man we had seen as we entered the restaurant whose shirt was a little on the short side, and his waistband was a little on the low side to reveal to the boys the crack that the good Lord had given him. I counseled them as we passed not to speak for they were already laughing sooo very hard in the parking lot. But I digress... anyhoo Cooper took a bite of the cake. He too closed his eyes and said, "oh that is soo good!" We agreed and took a few more bites. Then I looked over to the cutest, sweetest thing. Cooper filled his spoon and gave Zoe (who had been sitting quietly) a big bite. Oh that sweet precious baby smiled sooo big- as if to say,"dat is dee best ting I have eber tasted bruder tank you for sharing!" He then proceeded to take turns taking a bite and giving her a bite and they both just smiled and laughed and ate. It was sooo very sweet and precious and I cried and cried tears of joy to see that boy's heart filled with a spirit of giving because his heart and soul (and in this case mouth) were filled with goodness in the form of Chocolate cake. Cooper looked and asked why I was crying and I told him it was because mommy's heart was filled with joy to see him know that something was so good that he wanted to share it with his sister and how that made mommy and God so very happy. In the meantime Jaxon was continuing to eat a few bites but had found the picture of another yummy looking dessert on the menu. He told us to keep eating all of what was on the table and then to get dat one too. I lost it again. His face looked so sweet and it was too cute that he wanted even more of the chocolate goodness that the menu had to offer. We all left the restaurant with our bellies and spirits filled. I am thankful to God for such an amazing moment in our lives!!!

yeah, thanks but no thanks

2009-08-26T18:37:00.000-07:00

Kids hearts are just so naturally sweet (most of the time) and Jaxon showed a big heart tonight! I did my first short but fast training walk tonight. I had Jeff drop me off 4 miles from the house and my goal was to make it back in an hour to keep up with the pace that I want to be able to walk in the Breast Cancer 3Day in November. Cooper and Jaxon rode with us to drop me off and they all wished me well as they drove away. As I was walking down our street at the end of the walk- I noticed that Jeff and Jaxon were waiting on the front porch for me. Jaxon ran down the driveway and jumped into my arms and said, "I missed you soo good and you look bootiful" My heart melted. It was great to walk up to both of them smiling so. I walked straight into the house and into the bathroom and Jaxon followed me. He said, "mommy did you miss me so much because I missed you and your cancer." I told him that I missed him all to pieces and reminded him that I don't have cancer but I am walking so that hopefully there will be no more breast cancer when he gets big. He said, "oh thank you mommy." Now, while we were talking he was playing with the toilet paper as he always does when he is in the bathroom (even though I try to push him out and ask for privacy the majority of the time he was just so happy to see me). I figured most of the time he is out so I'll let him keep talking. I should have stuck to my guns however and insisted on my privacy because he unrolled a big piece of toilet paper and said, "do you want me to wipe your bottom for you?" Yeah, thanks but no thanks. I tried very hard not to laugh since his face was so very serious and he was being so sweet. I responded with a, "no thank you, I think I can handle it on my own." Bless his sweet heart.

To the...

2009-08-25T22:39:00.000-07:00

man from the Oil Change place: Thank you for jump starting my van in the mid day heat- my two little ones and I are very grateful for you!

man at Wally World waiting on my parking place: Sorry I didn't know anyone was waiting. I didn't see you and because I had my windows down I needed to put my hair up so it wouldn't blow in my face. There was a good song on the radio and that is why I was singing to myself in the mirror too : )

man behind me when the light turned yellow: I don't run yellow lights - that's how I got my last ticket- calm down dude no need to point that finger and honk your horn I might have saved your life ; )

and finally

Lady walking this evening wearing the Breast Cancer 3Day shirt: GO WALKER!!!!!!!

Butterflies on the Bus

2009-08-25T05:17:00.000-07:00

My children are so very funny in the morning- On the first day of school they were hearing nothing of us taking them to school - they must ride the bus. Now mind you the school is a half mile from our front door. But because it is uphill and there are no connecting sidewalks, we have a bus that picks up at our front gate. This is when the social butterflies have their fun time. Never mind that they can't get out of their seats and they pretty much have assigned seating. Nevermind that the bus picks up at 7:03 and they could sleep at least 10 minutes more. They HAVE to ride the bus!!! (Those are their words not mine.) This morning Mason came downstairs at 6:24 fully dressed with shoes and socks on and asked, "did we miss the bus?" Silly boy! I guess I should be thankful that they are not screaming about going to school and they want to go! But they are too funny panicking that they might have missed the bus. Speaking of going to school, the boys both came home from school very happy yesterday. Mason's exact words were, "my teacher is sooo nice!" Cooper said, "there were some 'hot' girls in his class!" Ok where did he learn that, I don't know but I reminded him that he needs to not say that out loud in front of girls because it could be considered disrespectful. He just smiled and said, "well they were hot and I like girls!" Good to know buddy, good to know. So for now on the second day of school the social butterflies caught their bus and are on their way to look at the hot girls at school. Oye! I am in T-R-O-U-B-L-E!

Let the walking begin

2009-08-22T19:03:00.000-07:00

Many of you have heard me talk about my experience with walking in the Breast Cancer 3Day- well I am doing it again this year and I am getting more and more excited as the time draws closer! I need to know if any of you who follow my blog would like for me to walk for any of you friends, family members or for you during my walk? If you will let me know I will be writing the names of those I am walking for on my tent this year. I will be praying for them as I walk ( you can't listen to music or anything it isn't safe so there is a lot of quiet prayer time). I ask that you pray for me as I begin some bigger/longer training walks this week and over the next few weekends. This is a cause that is so very near and dear to my heart and I am very excited to have the opportunity to participate in it again this year. If you would like more information about what I do feel free to ask - I would love to share!

Independence

2009-08-20T18:51:00.000-07:00

Independence reared it's ugly head today in the form of a little boy who refused to hold his mommy's hand as we went to meet the teacher night. : ( I know, I know we pray for them to grow and learn blah, blah, blah... But I thought of all nights meet the teacher night -Cooper would need just a little mommy touch as he felt a little uneasy- nope not a bit! He saw a little boy that was in his class last year in the parking lot and pointed him out. That little boy was holding both his mom and his dad's hand - Cooper had his hands in his pockets and was talking non stop about all kinds of things. I put my hand out and was denied. I said, "are you nervous at all?" His response, "nah what for I went to Kinder here so it's no big deal." What a guy! He then proceeded to tell me about this girl that asked him every day if they could get married and he said it was very annoying. He said girls were completely annoying because all they ever want to do is buy clothes and look good- oh really mr. can I have this that and the other as we shopped for school clothes. The boy got a jean jacket from the G*P the other day (it was the first thing he picked out in the store) 100 degrees outside but he wants a jean jacket because he would "look good" in it. His words not mine. He walked right in to the classroom, shook hands with the teacher and proceeded to play with a little boy that was in his class last year. When we went to the cafeteria to put some money in his food account the cafeteria ladies remembered him as the kid who kept giving his bus number instead of his cafeteria number. He just gave him a little sideways grin and said, "well they gave me food." Looks like it is gonna be a great year!

Not bad at all

2009-08-18T14:21:00.000-07:00

School shopping was not bad at all! I thought it would be tough shopping with four, but my Mother in Law had done some pre-shopping and price comparisons and we were able to get in done by just going to three stores. She had an awesome 20% of complete purchase from The G*P and their tee- shirts were buy one get one free (cha ching). After lunch and a stop at Gymb*ree's sale rack for another 20% of purchase we are clothed and ready to start school. We had a lovely lunch in the mall food court and it was a lot of fun to watch Jaxon be amazed at the stuff in the mall. It is obvious I don't shop much or go to the mall for that matter - he had no idea what to do with himself or what to look at. It was funny! My mother in law can shop I tell you and I was all out of breath by the time we were done. We all had a good time and I am very grateful to the Babcock's for their generosity! 1st and 3rd grade... bring it on!

Obsess Much?!

2009-08-16T17:40:00.000-07:00

If you've seen Ace Venture Pet Detective then you can hear how he says, "Obsess Much?!" when he goes to the house of Ray Finkel- the kicker that missed the super bowl field goal (ok a movie that I have seen many many times : ) Anywhoo- I digress- Cooper has been on medication for 4 days now and here is what I have noticed... He is very obsessed with organizing things. He has said several times that he needed to "clean up the toy room" and I have found him lining up the trains and cars in their containers. He has asked to clean up the laundry room and pick up his clothes. It is like his eyes are suddenly open to what is going on around the house. But he is most obsessed with lining up the trains and cars again. Meltdowns.... we had one today but it didn't last long and he went straight to his room on his own. Eating... so far so good although I have noticed a desire to drink more that eat. Oh and he is drawing a lot again. He had stopped for a while but now is drawing and coloring again. These are just some of the observations I have noticed. We will see how this week goes with getting ready for school to begin.

ADHD

2009-08-11T19:54:00.000-07:00

Usually I post on things going on around our Babcock world and they tend to have a bit of humor in them. Today, however, I am asking for your prayers as we begin a journey that many have traveled, but it is new to us. Several years ago we started Occupational Therapy with Cooper and a wonderful friend Mrs. Robbie Dunn. She has done wonders with Cooper and with us regarding some of the special needs that Cooper has. In the beginning I was learning about Cooper and why he was so driven in everything he did. If it was something he liked he strove for perfection. If it was something he disliked, he disliked it with enormous amounts of passion. When he was forced to do something he disliked, or when he made a mistake on something while striving for perfection, he would meltdown. I don't mean just throw a fit- we are talking 30-45 min of wailing, screaming, crying, stomping, running, hiding, destructive behavior that was hard to deal with much less understand. Since seeing Mrs. Robbie, most of the time he is able to tell us what he needs in order to not meltdown and stay in balance. He is a textbook case for Sensory Integration Disorder. After learning more and more about it, I have learned that the apple doesn't fall far from this tree. (me) We recently had him tested by an educational psychologist to see what the realms of his issues were. Those results showed that he also suffers from ADHD. As a teacher, I had many students who struggled with adhd but having one of my own was not what I was prepared for. Now we come to the question of what to do. We are not opposed to medication. If he had a problem with his heart and medication were the best route -he would get it. If he had kidney problems the same thing. As Dr. Chappell explained to us those who suffer from adhd do not have the same amount of neurotransmitters that non adhd children have in order to stay focused. So the medication helps with that. Still we know that things in the house will have to change as well. A steady routine is crucial. Sleep is crucial. I guess what we need is the support of our friends and family as we help Cooper learn to cope with his diagnosis. We want him to be comfortable and well informed enough to be able to talk about it and at the same time we don't want him to use it as a crutch. We want him to feel loved and wanted as he always has been. We covet your prayers and ask that you pray for strength and wisdom for all who are involved. We know that God chose us to be parents to Cooper and I wouldn't trade that for anything in this world. We are thankful that he is our Cooper!

Speaking of firsts

2009-08-08T18:13:00.000-07:00

Our lives are filled with firsts. There are first words, first steps, first dates, first kiss etc... Today I experienced a first because I turned 40 this year- I had my first mammogram today. I was very nervous. Nay, I was scared. I had heard horror stories from women about them. I had even heard them compared to slamming your "girls" in a freezer door and then allowing a mac truck to back up into it to attempt to make them as flat as possible to get a good picture. I was stressed because they ask you not to shower or wear deodorant, powder or perfume before you go. In this weather- wow!!! When I went in the lady said, "hello, Mrs. Babcock how are you today?" My response, "My pits are sweaty because I am very nervous but other than that I am doing great." Laughter is very important to me in stressful situations. The two ladies had a good chuckle over my response and reassured me that things are not like they used to be. Not only are they not like they used to be, but I am pretty sure that they are not even close. The place was quiet and pretty - the temp was perfect. I was ushered back to a room with little curtains and asked to put on a gown front first. I even got to choose between blue or pink. The wait was short and let me just say that breastfeeding hurt 100 times worse than getting this taken care of. In fact there was not one part of it that was painful! All those years of freaking out for nothing. The greatest part about the whole experience was that I allowed myself to relax enough to notice my surroundings and get a chuckle out of several things. The funniest thing I saw made me chuckle for quiet some time- just in case you forget the whole no deo, powder, perfume rule, they have cleansing wipes for you to use. The name of the wipes "mammowipes" yep that is what you read "mammowipes". Even now I am laughing- who thinks of that- seriously - someone said, hey, I have got a great marketing idea and we will sell them only to mammogram places : ) Awesome!!!! Why can't I come up with stuff like that to help the world out?! They also provide spray deodorant for you to use when you are finished so you come out of the place smelling good! The whole thing took 25 mins from beginning to end. I walked in at 10:20 and was in my car before 10:50. I hope that this post will encourage you that have been putting things off to suck it up and just go! You can do it! Your health depends on it! On a serious note, breast health is very important to me. I want breast cancer to be eradicated before Zoe has a chance to hear "I am sorry to tell you, but you have breast cancer." I will be walking again in the 3Day and will let you know in a later post how you can help! Good luck and go forth to get yours done soon!

It was one of those days

2009-08-06T20:43:00.000-07:00

I have been working in little bits for the last few weeks on organizing and redistributing all the stuff in the house. I feel very much like I am nesting although it is like what a year and a half later. Anyhoo, today was one of those days where I didn't feel like I got much accomplished at all because I spent the day corralling the children and holding Miss Zoe. I actually had a child say to me today "I don't have to if I don't want to." In case you are wondering - that child is still alive and he doesn't have a bruise on him : ) But, I don't think he will ever do that again! I waited until Jeff got home and then quietly slipped out for a little shopping therapy. Of course it was to Wally world and I really just needed cat food and diapers but just a little quiet time always refreshes my spirit. I was reminded again as I drove with my windows down, drinking my Dr. drink for everyones favorite drive through, listening to my choice of praise hymns, how truly blessed I am. Even if it was a rough day- I have kids who are healthy and mostly happy, I have a home to take care of, I have clothes to wash (too many), and I have a God who made a plan and it was fulfilled through His Son. "Love soo Amazing" I am thankful tonight that all are sleeping safe and sound in their beds and I am thankful that it was able to have "one of those days!" God Bless!

Precious moments

2009-08-03T20:50:00.000-07:00

I was taking a moment to rock Zoe this evening as the older two boys were taking their night time shower. I could hear them talking and heard Cooper say he thought whatever Mason used smelled good. Mason said, "oh here I used this conditioner, but you only need a little." Very sweet moment caught by mommy ears. Well, I continued to rock Zoe who was singing herself to sleep as I was kissing her little eyes closed and I saw Mason get out of the shower, towel off, and put on his undies. He then picked up his brush, styled his hair, put down the brush and then - the precious moment that I didn't even tell him I saw- He had given himself a mohawk doo and proceeded to play his air guitar in the mirror with head banging and everything. Then he flexed his muscles a few times both from the front and the sides. I guess he was pleased with what he saw because he brushed his hair down and then left the bathroom. Oh my eyes and my heart were full this evening! I thank God for my precious moments tonight!!

Lost Tooth

2009-07-26T19:48:00.000-07:00

Cooper has always had such a baby face to me and I love to squish it between my thumb and fingers! Tonight he lost his first tooth- now when I squish it I see the evidence that he is truly growing up. I want my children to grow up but it feels so bittersweet sometimes. Anyway he looks very cute and he is excited that his straw fits through the hole! I love you sweet Cooper!

Little things that bring joy

2009-07-23T07:39:00.000-07:00

One of the little things that bring me joy is watching my kids come up with games that they enjoy playing together. Currently their love of slam ball has caused them to play much slam ball on the trampoline. It is hilarious to watch them jump up and down and take turns slamming the basketball into the Fisher Price plastic basketball goal that cost me 2 dollars at a garage sale 6 years ago. It is also joyful to see the older 2 ask Jaxon to get off the trampoline and go get their basketballs when the ball rolls into the bushes or under the trampoline when they are playing. He does it with as much joy and enthusiasm as when he is slamming the ball into the goal. I wonder how long it will be before he figures out that his brothers are using him : )

Cats and Dogs

2009-07-21T07:22:00.000-07:00

When Mason was little (3-4), instead of having an imaginary friend, he became a dog. If you wanted him to do something like eat, put on his shoes, take a bath, etc..., and he didn't want to do it you would just ask "Fluff" the dog to do it and happily it was done. Jaxon has done the same thing for several months now, but instead of being a dog, he is a cat. He is a cat with no name actually. So, this morning he was meowing as usual before I got breakfast ready and it was really annoying to his brothers. The fights were beginning so I said, "Jaxon, if you don't stop saying meow you are going to get a spanking." Jaxon said, "woof"- Oh the mind of a 3yr. old!

12 on the 12th

2009-07-17T14:18:00.000-07:00

Jeff and I were married 12 years ago on last Sunday (the 12th of July). It has been a crazy 12 years to say the least. We knew when we met that each other was "the one." In fact, Jeff bought my ring in August before he asked me to marry him in December. We had only been dating for 5 months when he bought it. Sometimes we can't believe soo much has happened in the 13 years that we have known each other to say the least our 4 little blessings! So I would like to share 12 things about Jeff that make me laugh/love him more and more:

1 He is not afraid to do dishes, laundry, clean toilets, or sweep and mop the floor. I don't ask- he just does them.

2 He is great with money

3 He loves to wrestle and play with the kids

4 He was amazingly supportive through my pregnancies/ labor / and birth

5 He likes to do stupid dances for me and the kid just for a laugh

6 He is a gadget guru! (techno geek if you will)

7 He loves to shop at Big Lots and Marshalls and then come home and show me all his bargins.

8 He never criticizes my shortcomings as a housewife because he knows the kids come first!

9 He believes that a mommy should stay at home if at all possible and works hard to support that dream for our family.

10 He knows that I would love to go to nursing school, reminds me of it often, and refuses to let it just be a pipe dream. He says often, "one of these days babe you will go to nursing school and make an awesome nurse" : )

11 When we were having problems he was willing to do whatever it took to get help and has not been embarrassed to talk about it to others when asked.

12 He has put into practice full force the things we are learning as the "help" continues and that makes him a strong and powerful man in my eyes!!!

Jeff, I love you!!!!!

Check ups

2009-07-15T12:21:00.001-07:00

I took Zoe in for her 1 year check up (ok really her 14 month check up - I'm a little late) and she is very happy and healthy! Since 3 of the 4 of my kids have been preemies, Zoe included, I have always wondered when and if they would catch up. The dr. never worries about her size based on everyone else her age, she concentrates on weather or not Zoe is staying with her growth curve. I am pleased to say Zoe is growing perfectly. She is actually in the 50th percentile of height and weight. She is my only child of the 4 that is in the 50th percentile. All the boys are still in the 25th to 50th - even Cooper although he was my only full term baby. Cooper also had his 6 year old check up and passed his with flying colors as well. He passed both hearing and eye tests and didn't bat an eye to any of the things the dr. asked him to do or anything. When the nurse came in to give Zoe her shots Cooper looked at her and said, "oh yeah, I don't really want one of those." What a goof ball! Praise God for the greatness of healthy children!

funny statements

2009-07-11T21:38:00.000-07:00

Cooper: Daddy I need you Mason horsed me in the pool and the rules say no horseplay!

Cooper: Mommy, Mason is calling me a loser under the water

Mommy: Mason stop calling him a loser

Mason: I will if he stops calling me stupid when we are not under the water

(apparently he was doing the looser sign to him under water.)

Jaxon: Mommy I'm not a loser I am a winner

Jaxon: Mommy thanks for the swimming lessons you are a bootiful fish : )

I hate to have to make it back to reality tomorrow- we have had a great time this week!!

Tears of Joy

2009-07-10T18:06:00.000-07:00

Today I cried tears of joy! I haven't done that in a long time, but I couldn't help it. I sat in my beach chair and put Zoe to sleep with the sound of the waves and the seagulls. I watched as Jeff was out in the water jumping waves with Mason and Cooper and took turns helping them with the boogie board. Jaxon was with our new friends Beverly and Erin (they are from San Antonio)-they were busy teaching him how to catch "little white wiggly fishes". I couldn't help but stop, absorb, and thank God for the amazing moments in life!!!!

Some funny statements of the day:

Cooper: Dad, I was born to do this that is why I am so good at it

(this was after Jeff went to retrieve him on the boogie board because it was time for lunch)

Cooper: Dad are we in Miami?

(this was after Jeff went to retrieve him on the boogie board "again" - he had gone way down the beach without Jeff seeing him- pretty big undertow today)

Cooper: I read a real book and it said there were no beaches in Texas.

Me: Jaxon what color were the fishes that you played with today

Jaxon: Dey were white before dey were dead and den dey were bwown. De gugulls don't wike dem when dey are bwown.

(trasnslation: they were white before they were dead and then they were brown. The seagulls don't like them when they are brown. )

I will do my best to get some pics up when we get back but I am really bad at that part of the blog thing. Suffice it to say- if this is what Heaven is like I really want to be a part of it!!!!!!

This world is sooo very small

2009-07-09T20:29:00.000-07:00

It was cheaper this year by far to come to the beach on vacation than to go to Nashville. However, that has made it more difficult for me this summer because other than the quick trip home with Zoe in the spring when my grandmother was sick I have not been able to spend time at home with my family and friends. But, in perfect God fashion he finds a way to put Nashville near me when I am hurting. Today's small world story (thank you D'lyn for coming up with that phrase)- I met a family at the pool today with 3 boys- 10, 8, and 6. The man was from Nashville - His wife from Atlanta- turns out he knows tons of people that I know and even went to a tiny, rival christian school in Nashville. I loved visiting with him and talking about all the people we knew in common and all the similarities in our worlds. I am thankful that God finds a way to put peace in my heart when I feel anxiety about not being "home". Thank you God! For my Nashville friends that follow this blog the man's name was Ken Whitehead (I think) and he went to Goodpasture to high school. To my college friends, while he did not go to Lipscomb growing up his best friend was Kyle Coker. ( Kyle Cokermania)- Strange small world!!!

seagulls

2009-07-08T18:10:00.000-07:00

Jaxon: Daddy come yook at the googulls - we can feed dem and eberyting

(traslation: daddy come look at the seagulls we can feed them and everything)

Cooper: There must be at least 10 mommy seagulls out here and the others are twins of each other-

huh?

Poor little city folk boys - learning about the rats with wings is a whole new experience for them.

On a separate note we went to the beach to play today- It was great to see the boys getting used to jumping the waves and learning to boogie board with daddy. Zoe didn't think too much of the water rushing around, but she loved running around and carrying her bucket. Jaxon fell asleep in our little tent and then we discovered he was running a fever. Poor little beach buddy!

Treasuring those moments

2009-07-07T21:39:00.001-07:00

Today was the first day of our vacation- a real vacation- just the six of us. We are staying in Port A near the beach. I remember being excited as a child when travel time would arrive. My dad was always very intense about loading the car "right"- there were 6 of us then as there are now and I know why now! He was a great packer and taught me everything I know. We had to help bring the luggage out to the car and I can remember how frustrated he got if we brought out the pillows or toys first : ). This morning while loading and packing Jaxon and Cooper were already in the car. Jaxon actually had his seatbelt on, even though it took me a good 30 min to pack the car the way I wanted it packed. Oye! Thanks dad for teaching me how to pack a car. We loaded up and got to the exit of our subdivision only to realize that neither of us had the directions to where we were going. We turned around and about the time that we did I heard Jaxon in the back say, "are we at the beach yet?" I knew then it was going to be a long 3 hour "tour". The trip wasn't too bad and the kids love the place where we are staying. Cooper said it felt just like home! He said at dinner that this was the happiest he had ever been. Then he thanked us for taking a vacation. I have mentioned several times in my life that I love how The Bible makes mention of the fact that "Mary treasured all of these things in her heart." I will never forget the looks on my kids faces seeing the beach for the first time. Zoe smiled from ear to ear. Mason couldn't believe you could drive on the beach- he thought that was very cool. Jaxon loved loved loved the sand and the water!! Cooper - that sensory boy buried his feet in all the different textures of the sand and said several times that he wanted to feel the waves on his feet. That is my boy! Even Jeff who is relatively silent about most things unless asked said out loud with no prompting- wow it is really pretty here and look how happy the kids are! I stopped and thanked God for those 5 blessings standing there by the ocean and put it into my heart. God is Good!!!! All the time!!!!

Imagine my embarrassment...

2009-06-30T14:24:00.000-07:00

Imagine my embarrassment when I looked over at Jaxon in the middle of lunch outing today only to see him with the salt shaker in his mouth- IN HIS MOUTH!!!! Imagine my relief when the man at the table next to us laughed and said not to worry it wasn't the first time he had seen it and it probably won't be the last- boys will be boys. Thank you sir for your kindness during my moment of shock and awwwwww (yuck/oye).

Imagine my embarrassment when my Cooper said out loud at Occupational Therapy today, "mom, I want you to squish me with the big ball you're not as fat as Ms. Robbie" Imagine my relief when she laughed really hard and said, "Cooper you are a hard one to please Mr. - Last week Ms. Lisa wasn't heavy enough and now I'm too heavy!" Ms. Robbie please forgive my son for his open mouthedness - you have taught him too well how to use his words to say what he needs instead of throwing a fit and having no idea what his needs are.

Imagine my embarrassment when Jaxon asked the sacker at HEB to pull his finger- Imagine my relief when the checker laughed - and said, "I love it when little boys say what their daddy's say to them : ) Turns out she had 4 boys!

Have you had moments like these?!? If so let me know!

Hug your kids

2009-06-18T05:40:00.001-07:00

Yesterday I learned of a family who lost their two year old little boy in a pool accident. Life is unpredictable. Go hug your kids right now!

I should've known better

2009-06-15T14:30:00.000-07:00

In an effort to create a little more fun for the two 3 year old boys that are hanging out here at the house together this summer I bought a little pool this weekend. It is one of those that has one small ring to blow up on the top and then the pool stands on it's own as it begins to fill. Needless to say they have been thrilled today! I have it right out on the back porch so it doesn't get too much sun and they have toys galore. Every once in a while the water rushes out of the pool from some little feet standing on it and we have to put a little more in. So, with water running and children laughing I decide to come in and check email, fb etc... I opened the window right beside the computer table (which is in the dining area of the kitchen so it is right there where I can look and talk to them while they are playing. Imagine my surprise when I was hit with an enormous shot of water that soaked my right side, everything on the computer table, the keyboard, the end of the kitchen table and halfway across the edge of the kitchen floor. After the moment of shock wore off- I had to laugh at myself and say "I should've known better. Currently they are now on the trampoline jumping up and down and spraying each other with the hose- water waster- nope - you can hand water at anytime and it is about time the grass under the trampoline got some water : ) Here is to each of you and your summer fun- May you use more common sense than I do! Enjoy!

Did I say that?

2009-06-02T06:32:00.000-07:00

My children hear this phrase come out of my mouth often, "enough of the whining already." Imagine our surprise this morning when Cooper responded this way to Jeff.

Jeff: Cooper don't forget to brush your teeth

Cooper: Daddy enough with the teeth brushing already

Mmmm me thinks I need to watch my phrases and me thinks a young boy needs to get his teeth brush with a bar of soap for his backsass. Jeff dealt with it in a perfect manner and then we got to giggle about it just before he left for work. Jeff said he sounded just like me when he said it and he was right. Cooper is definitely my son! On a side note I have been keeping my boss' 3 year old just about everyday. He and Jaxon are both 3. As I post this I am sitting at my computer by the window watching and listening to them in the back yard. Should I be concerned when one says to the other, "Hey ants, cool- get your shubel" (aka...shovel) Maybe I'll end this and step outside for a while. : )