Wednesday, April 27, 2011
Why is it that sometimes in life our expectations have to be readjusted to such an extreme?! So I am thinking that my expectation of this relocation thing was a little off. I thought that because the "God" aspect of our relocation and the ease at which everyting took place would continue. I am having to change my expectation because it seems that God might have put us in a holding pattern. You know in the Bible when God told Abram that he was going to be the father of a great nation and moved him to a different land and told him he was going to be an actual father- like with a real kid and everyting. Then Abraham had to wait. Not for just a little while but for quite sometime... so much so that Abraham took matters into his own hands- to a detrimental fault. Yet, God kept His promise... He did make good on his promise. So my thoughts... I think we are here in a waiting pattern. Everything fell into place easily to move and now we wait. Part 1 of this post begins with me. Leaving Church, friends, home, family etc... how do I adjust to the waiting game without taking matters into my own hands. I have always struggled with waiting... if we do something like Sara and Abram and rush the plan... it causes issues. So I adjust and wait, I work on not running ahead of God, I attempt to be happy with where I am in the moment and not worry about tomorrow. And so for those who do read my blog my prayer is not that our house sell (I know that it will) I ask only that you pray that God help me be still. I pray that I can be still. I was listening to an older CD that I purchased several years ago the title was simple "Worship and Praise". It was published several years back when the Churches of Christ were flirting with the idea of worship leaders and were they Biblical or not. I mean not to make fun of course but I guess a little... was it ok to sing several songs that were more anthem like back to back without the standard 3 songs, a prayer, announcements, a few more songs etc... Anyway I chose this CD because I needed a "booster" shot if you will in the quiet of the day. I don't know why the song that I was listening to hit me soo hard. Maybe it was because it was all voices and we have been worshiping with a church that has a praise band (don't judge - we aren't sold but we like it for now), maybe it was the words that were being delivered at a time when I am feeling discouraged. But the song... Be strong and courageous and do not be afraid, the Lord goes with you each and every day, He'll never forsake you... Maybe Sara and Abram felt God's presence and then were asked to wait until the time was right (just as the Bibe says about the birth of Jesus). That is kind of how I feel... I know it is stupid but I also know that Satan knows exactly were to attack and strikes with the time is perfect for him. So today I am humming that tune as I play with Zoe and Jaxon, as I wait for the moment to go pick up the boys and find a way to spend the afternoon doing something fun with them, and as I find a better way for bedtime to work for all of us. I live for today, right now for just today, without thinking about what God is going to do for us next in this relocation, but just being mindful of the gift that I have been given today to be at home with my kids and to have a safe place to live with food to eat and clothes to wear and the courage to not be afraid of the future because God is in control.