Monday, April 6, 2009
I was reminded last night as I did my weekly shopping how richly blessed we are! For several months now I have struggled within the depths of a deep swing of depression. It is a clinical diagnosis that I received in college and I have taken medication for years for it. I have not found myself this far in since college. During these times I spend a lot of time in self analyzation. I am not feeling sorry for myself- actually just the opposite. I pull away both socially and emotionally from lots of people and activities. During down times I think about all that is around me. I spend lots of time in pray. Sometimes I don't even know what to pray but I know the Holy Spirit intercedes on my behalf. I draw my family closer. I have kids this time and have spent much time just holding and hugging on them. In college I spent time with my dad. I didn't date - I went to school, came home, worked some, but just hung out with dad. Over the last week I have seen a turn in my mood and can feel the sunlight on my face again. I feel like I am coming out of the deep dark hole. Last night while doing my weekly grocery shopping I found myself more aware of the people around me and witnessed something that not only broke my heart but also made me stop and offer a prayer of gratefulness and thankfulness. I watched two women pull money out of their purses and count it. Then I watched as they returned items that were in their basket. Now maybe they were on the Dave Ramsey cash thing and they didn't want to go over their budget. But I suspect they just didn't have the money to get all they had put in their basket. They didn't have much by the time they were done, but they had their essentials. I was struck by the immediate need to thank God for what I had in my basket, for what I was going to put in, and for the car that I would load them into as well as the home I had to take them to. If you are wondering why I did not offer to help- 2 reasons-1 they were too far into the check out process for me to jump in and go "oh here I'll help and 2- dignity- the "save face" kind. There were many around, they had what they needed and I didn't want to embarrass them. Jeff and I had also just give a large amount to a missionary group that morning to help sponsor a child's education, clothes, and food for a year. I figured by that time I had done what I could for the day and would look for a place to help all week. So I extend this challenge to all who read this blog. 1st stop what you are doing and get on your knees and thank God for his goodness. 2nd find some way to help someone less fortunate than you this week. Pray for the person you help and others in the same situation. If you are a random reader whom I don't know- thanks for reading! If you are a friend or family member who reads my blog, I am thankful you are in my life!! Have a blessed day!