Above Reproach

This morning the phrase "above reproach" has been on my mind. Growing up it was not something that I heard from my parents, but something I often heard from coaches. They would tell us to remember that we are a team and to function with the spirit of a team and be above reproach in order to have success. They would say it before a game, before we got off the bus, before we were in some sort of competition. It was spoken of often at sporting camps that I attended. The coaches that said it knew that there were always people out there who were full of jealousy, people who were mean spirited, people who cared more for themselves than for others. As a representative of a team I never wanted the team to do poorly so I tried my best and I supported the others on the team and encouraged them to do their best. As a team we presented a united front of positive, encouraging energy! It made for amazing moments when we won of course but it also made for the whole "lean on me" thing when we lost. As a team we won together and we lost together and because we behaved in a way that was "above reproach", the wins and losses were that much sweeter - they brought us closer together as a team. Getting involved with the Breast Cancer 3-Day for me was a no brainer. The idea of team spirit was one that I grew up drawn to because of the wisdom of the coaches that I had with their above reproach attitude. It meant that I was really a part of something that I could be proud of while I voiced my opinion of how much I hate (yes, hate is a strong word and I choose to use it here) Breast Cancer. I loved that first year standing in the midst of all the pink fighting/walking/protesting Cancer. Together daring to imagine a world without Breast Cancer. We stood all 3300 of us together above reproach knowing that each and every one of us from the crew to the safety people to the walkers all worked together and did our best. We were able to hold our heads up high. I don't know what it felt like to be an onlooker in the crowd, because I was in the middle of the pink- in the middle of the team of 3300 people dreaming of that world without Breast Cancer. Being a part of a team means you can't look inward... that is why the power of "The Pink" (another way to refer to the seas of people protesting Breast Cancer) is so amazing. It is an insane number of people thinking about the men and women who have had to suffer from this disease bonding together to do something about it. There is no "I" in Breast Cancer because those who are suffering don't have to suffer alone thanks to "Breast Cancer 3-Day. And friends there is no "I" in TEAM. Are you a part of a team? Are you a part of something that makes you think about being above reproach? Are you behaving in a way that will build others up the way Teams do? I am challenging you today just to think. In 47 days the team of walkers in the Breast Cancer 3 Day will be walking in DFW. I pray that we will all gather strength from each other and that those who are suffering will not feel alone because we will be supporting them!

What season is it again?!

I realize that there are 4 seasons per year that are marked by the changing of the trees/temp/weather for most of us. But, I think I have sort of added a season- or should I say renamed a season. I almost feel like instead of being excited about it changing from Summer to Fall that I get excited because the beginning of Fall is really for me the beginning of Fundraising for the Susan G Komen Breast Cancer 3 Day. Sure there are people out there that fundraise all year and on my team there are many who have already reached their goal. I applaud them! I guess I just feel like having a "season" to fundraise works well for me. So, beginning Sept 1st, my wardrobe changes dramatically... you will be hard pressed to find me not wearing something related to breast cancer. I am almost always wearing some sort of tee-shirt that advertises the 3 Day or Team Tiara (I am a walking advertisement) and if I am not - I am usually wearing a pink ribbon somewhere on my clothes. I use my wardrobe as a conversation starter... an avenue of breast cancer awareness if you will. This year 50 days out of the 3 Day walk I will be doing a Fabulous Fundraising Friday. I would love to be able to have 50 friends donate 50 dollars 50 days out - of the event in order to reach my goal- I am excited about the opportunity to try this. Be watching for an update!

by Kayren Babcock on Wed, Sep 15, 2010 @ 10:51 AM CT

I am reminded today...

I am reminded today of how big but how small he still is. I am reminded of how little he was and how big he is. I am speaking of Mason. My sweet itty bitty cutie patootie squishy little first born... how did he get so big all of the sudden? When did he start decided that he needed a haircut and ask for them instead of me looking at him thinking... I think I will take him tomorrow for one. I got the opportunity to take Mason shopping for school clothes and then on to his golf thing at First Tee. First of all he is an awesome shopper... he knows what he likes and if he doesn't see it then he is outta there. My kind of guy. How I remember the little outfit that I put on him that they gave me in the hospital. Tiny little froggy shirt with a matching hat. It was so tiny it fits one of Zoe's baby dolls now. Today, I shopped in the size 12-14 section - that's right people from 4lbs 13oz and 18 inches long. I know every parent feels this way... I know some of you are looking at you kids and saying wow, they are going off to college or wow they are going off to kinder or whatever. But, since this is my blog this is me going wow... when did he get so big. Then my feeling was enforced even more when I took him to his golf thing! He looks just like his daddy when he swings that golf club. I am not even kidding! From the way he addresses the ball to his follow thru it is scary how similar they are. I was happy to have had a hat and sunglasses on so that I could hide my tears. I was so proud to be Mason's mom today! I mean I am proud of him every day but today was one of those days that just hit me what a cool kid he is. I love his sense of humor and his desire to do well on the things that interest him. Notice I didn't say desire to do well on everything... he is after all a kid and if he doesn't like it... well he will let you know. He is getting better at expressing himself verbally, like with the right tone of voice and everything. I appreciate his willing spirit to help around the house too. Why just yesterday he "cleaned his room" and even vacuumed it and then asked me to come look at it. I couldn't help but laugh when I saw all the things he had stuffed under the bed. I also had to laugh when I asked him what he did with the blue tub of stuff that was in his closet... he said, "oh, I put that in your closet." Nice! He learned from the master how to "stuff clean" tee-hee. But when all is said and done, He still wants to sit close to me and hold my hand. Yeah, he likes to hold my hand. He always did... when he was nursing he wanted me to play with his hand. Today while we were coming home he reached over to hold my hand and we had a laugh together about something (oh his hands are like his daddy's too just in little kid size). I am blessed to call this child/big boy my son. I am blessed that God gave him to me! Thank you God for the gift of Mason!

You know it has been a long time when...

You know you haven't blogged in a while when you have to go to someone else's blog to hop onto yours because yours fell off "the favorites" list and your too lazy to type it into the search engine. (Kidding of course but I did have a hard time remembering where I bookmarked it). I know all 11 of you followers have been waiting with bated breath for me to update. So here we are... almost at the end of the summer. It has been a good one- I think the kids have enjoyed it. I have to say the highlight was our vacation at the beach. In fact, Zoe when she has cried lately has asked to go back to the beach- I go beach- she says. I want to cry with her sometimes and say me too! She and Jaxon have really been busy playing together this summer. It has been fun watching them. Cooper has been completely engrossed in everything Star Wars and Mason has enjoyed video games, books, and football camp. I have learned several things over the summer. 1. Must have a plan at all times- this avoids meltdowns. 2. No Naps- early bedtme 3. Put children in bed and allow them to read but insist that they may not get up. This one has worked really well over the last 2 weeks and I think we are really going to be onto something when school starts back. I have lots of things to "talk" about but I will leave it at that- it seems that when the 2 yr old and the 4 yr old drag the container of cars into the 1/2 bath and shut the door that nothing good can come of it... I think I will just take a peak to see what if any damage has occurred : ) Until next time!

Accepting the things I can not change

Ok so I really had some awesome thoughts on Paul's thorn in the flesh and how God used Paul (faults, pain and all) to touch so many via The Bible. That will have to wait... I try to be the epitome of an open book in the hopes that something I think/purge out of my thoughts will bring Glory. I have found myself trying to remind myself (I know that sounded rough) who I am in God's eyes. I began therapy last week. I needed to clear the muck to see through to God. Today was my second session and I was reminded that I have to own many of the decisions that I made years ago that brought me to where I am today. Well, Duh! But by the same token having anger and hurt over those decisions is ok I just can not allow it to run my thought processes now. As I say that... I can't get out of my head... did you know that it takes 8 non sexual touches from a loved one (ie your husband) per day to make a woman to feel loved. Did you know that Adam and Eve had perfection and yet they felt imperfect, they were unhappy. How do we today in our imperfection allow ourselves to feel God's love when we are looking for love from a human perception? I don't have all the answers- but I learned today that I have to let out the dark in order to let in the light. It is not a simple task. But until I open myself up completely to be loved I can't love. I know that I jumped around in this post but something might have touched you... if so feel free to comment... if not trust me that I am no where near done... there will be many posts to come!

Paul's thorn in the flesh will have to take a back seat

So I have been thinking and have some serious thoughts that I would like to purge by way of blogging. I have heard through the grapevine that my blogging has been missed by my 4-5 dedicated readers : ) and I do have some thoughts to share... However, today is one of those days that I am ready to pull out what little hair that lady left on my head. 7 weeks ago I got a haircut and the woman cut it shorter than Jaime Lee Curtis' hair. Now, it is finally where I wanted it to be when I went in in the first place. (that was just so you guys could get an idea of how little is there and yet I am still ready to sacrifice it for my sanity). So this is the conversations that happen in my house- I will use K if it is a kid talking and M if it is me:

K: I want a popsicle (or popkeepull depending on who is talking)
M: No or not right now
2-3 min later there are children eating popsicles
M: I said no
K: But I wanted one

K: I want to paint
M: No or not right now
a few min later there is paint and paint brushes brought to me and begging begins so I figure maybe if I let them it will keep them busy long enough that I can get something done

I work they paint- they finish and while I am cleaning up they are destroying another area that I have just finished putting back together

K: Can so and so come in to play
M: no because the house is a mess and I don't want any other messes to clean up or people to correct
2-3 minutes later there are 2-4 other kids in the house and everyone wants a snack or a movie or both or to go get on the trampoline or to go upstairs and play video games or whatever

K: Can we go to mcdonalds
M: no we need to go home to eat
K: crying and whining and yelling begins

On an somewhat hourly basis I let out big gigantic sighs!

I am feeling like I want to back up a dumpster to the house and throw all of it out and I do mean all- the toys, games, clothes, dishes everything into that dumpster- I want to keep the books and just tell my children- you have one pair of pants one pair of shorts and 3 shirts- beyond that you need nothing else and the next person to speak after I speak will be severely beaten about the head and shoulders! Here is your food that I choose for you to eat and when you finish with it go throw your plate in the trash. I know I have issues when it comes to raising my children and I know it comes from not wanting them to have to go through what I went through as a child. But by the same token I think they just don't give a flying flip about me or what I say and there is certainly no respect whatsoever- so I chose to put myself into therapy. Monday was my first appointment. I want to better me so that I can better parent so that my kids know how to effectively parent and they don't look back and think "what were they thinking"! As I type this I have told my son to get off of something that he doesn't need to be on twice- the first with respect- the second with authority and the third time with a threat of a spanking shouted towards his direction. I think this whole love and logic is a crock of poo. Giving kids choices - gimmie a break. But then the other side of my heart and brain says how would Jesus parent- that is what I want to get to the bottom of... stay tuned - the thought processes are just beginning. In the meantime if you hear children wailing and a mommy yelling and carrying around a wooden spoon you can believe that this mommy has snapped and is ready to redirect some tiny heineys!

Ahhhh, OMG How are you? It has been forever! You look great!

The title of this post is to be squealed like cheerleader chicks who haven't seen each other in forever and it helps to toss your hair or pretend to toss it and hug and fake kiss... you know what I mean. Anyway it has been forever and since the last post we have celebrated birthdays, Easter and other stuff in the Babcock house. I have been spending a lot of time treasuring all the things in my heart and with all that has been happening have not made the time to post. When I am not spending time with the kids I have been purging closets and cabinets and the like. I seriously think the house looks like it could be on hoarders. You think I jest but sadly, it is true! It has been hard to purge and keep the kids entertained at the same time. Here is an example... Jeff is gone with the boys and as I post, Zoe just ran up to me with a purple marker in hand. She is more of a handful than the boys ever were. I thought girls were supposed to be easier but I am thinking if you have the energy of a boy and you have to keep up with brothers and you are a smart, inquisitive little 2 year old wow! She is into everything and I do mean everything! I am thinking that when she grows up and asks to get a tattoo, the only one she can have is one that says "tenacious" that describes her personality to a tee. Although it might run close second with independent. Our baby girl has really rocked our world. She turned 2 on the 23rd of April and Cooper had turned 7 on the 21st. Because the kids were out of school on Friday (Zoe's actual birthday) I took the roller skating (the boys had been wanting to go) on Friday and we met some friends there. Zoe even had a little pair of skates and she got out on the floor and stayed for forever. I took her to buy a pretty pretty birthday outfit and while in the store she found what she wanted, picked it out and brought it to me and said, "bootiful" - so she got 2 outfits... one for skating and one for her little party with the family. Can I just say that a pink feathery outfit with chunky legs, pink princess skates and a big pink bow on a blue eyed, dimpled cheek smiley 2 yr old baby girl was enough to make mommy cry several times. Cooper was amazing with her and took her to the middle several times to "teach her to skate". The "ref" of the skating rink kept skating past her and patting her on the head- he let her stand out there during the limbo and "help" with the stick. School is winding down and you can tell it is time for summer- Cooper is ready to be finished - his behavior has been great at school up until the last week or so. Bless his heart he needs a much shorter school year- he has done really well this year and we are more than blessed to have had Mrs. Blue as his teacher! She has been the perfect teacher for him. I had the younger two up at school with me the other day and she mentioned how blessed she was to have gotten to know our family. She said she wanted to have all the Babcock children in her class. I said well it will be several more years before you get The Princess (that is how Cooper refers to Zoe sometimes) and she said, "well I will be here- they will have to take me out of here kicking and screaming" - love it! It is fitting that Zoe and Cooper have their birthdays so close together - they are peas in a pod- On other things... TAKS is over and had it not been for everyone else talking about it ie... school, news, others in the outside world, I think it might have come and gone without any of us knowing. Mason didn't say a word about it unless asked and he didn't seem stressed about it. He enjoys school but is ready for summer so that he can just veg out completely. He has been playing golf every Saturday with Jeff and has a beautiful swing. Jeff is really enjoying being able to spend time with just Mason. Jaxon is doing well but is really going through a mommy phase. He left the house this morning with Jeff and was crying because he didn't want mommy to be left at home alone. So very sweet of him to be concerned : ) Was it wrong of me to run really fast out to the car and buckle him in and then skip back inside the house like a little girl while Jeff was pulling out of the driveway with 2 of the 4 crying in the car as they drove away?! Nah! Well that about catches everyone up on the kids. Jeff and I are hanging in there- I will be posting a little more often over the next few weeks as I use my blog to purge my thoughts again. You will understand more as you read the upcoming posts... We are richly blessed to be washed in the blood of Christ and have God as our almighty provider!