Friday, November 20, 2009
Is that an elephant in the room?
As the holidays approach I am thinking a lot about families... specifically families that try to make it all work right when there are issues that stand in the way. These families put things aside "for the sake of the holidays" and try to make it all look good and work right when deep down there are issues that could clear the air and allow these families to make a new fresh start and bond them together again. In essence the giant elephant in the room is ignored so that "tradition" can take on a role and the actors (ie family members) create more issues instead of just finding a way to come to grips and get rid of the elephant. I speak from experience of course but also have friends and acquaintances who struggle with this particular state of affairs. Several years ago, my family was in this position as we dealt with some pretty serious issues in my family. I remember getting the kids settled in with entertainment and sitting down in the living room with all the adults in the family and airing out what needed to be aired. It took some time and not everything was solved that day and it certainly not what I would call the perfect family holiday get together, however, it brought some of us closer together for having been there. This time last year, Jeff and I found ourselves in unchartered waters and we were trying to keep our heads above water and smile and make it all "look good". After much soul searching and a brief conversation with a friend and his wife- we took the opportunity to out the elephant in our marriage at an extensive weekend marriage conference. It was intense and it was expensive but it was totally worth it. As the holidays approach this year things are very very different. I am thankful that God grace covers our mistakes and places people in our lives to help see us through when the going looks impossible from the inside but we are not willing to let others see that. I pray that God will lead people to these struggling families and see them through to peace as he did ours this last year!